To have been so embarrassed

[PonyPals]

A friend from uni and I met for lunch with our babies. Mine is 9 months hers is 11 months.
I haven't seen her for awhile and I was just shocked when I saw her.
She shaved both sides of her head and has a kind of Mohawk (it doesn't look funky it just looks disheveled).
And she was dressed in an unkempt way. Very tight leggings and a short singlet - no bra. We are both on the larger (size 20+) side and the singlet kept on riding up and exposing her belly. She also has very large breasts which were sagging without a bra.
It is winter where I am and was quite cold. As we were walking around the shopping centre people were looking and I was so embarrassed.
Apart from that her baby was wearing a dirty jump suit (food stains) and his face looked like it was not washed.
She has always been the type of person to make a stand against society (whatever that means) but I feel like all she is doing is showing that she completely doesn't care what she looks like.
I guess would you be embarrassed as well?

I suppose YABU to judge but if you felt embarrassed at being stared at then you can't really help how you feel. Was she happy in herself? If so then you need to adjust your judgypants!

Sorry, I forgot to add YANBU about the baby though.

Maybe she is struggling with looking after the baby and herself.

How was she in herself? I would be concerned for my friend if I was so shocked rather than embarrassed. She may have slid into a dark hole.

She was fine. Her self, with lots of advice for me since she is 2 months ahead. It's really her devil make care attitude that is going a bit too far I think

Has she always been unkemp. Could she be suffering from PND. Over tiredness or Struggling financially. Mind you saying that. It costs nothing to be clean.
How is she in herself.

The question for me would be how much has her appearance and demeanour deviated from what it was last time I saw her?

What I mean is, the advice and devil-may-care attitude is all very well if that's what she's always been like but the extreme hair would ring some alarm bells with me possibly - I agree with NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe.

You know her best. I think it quite odd that the baby would be taken out with a dirty face/clothes because even if I was meeting with friends, I would want them to see us 'at our best'.

No I would not be bothered about spending time with someone who looks like this.
But dramatic changes in appearance are usually a warning sign that something isn't right

Just weighing in to say I'm agreeing with other posters ..you say you were shocked at her appearance so I'm gonna assume she doesn't always dress this way
It would immediately make me question is she was coping or suffering pnd..it's entirely possible to seem ok and not be ok at all

A dramatic change I standards like that is usually a sign of further issues and not coping. As an aside, she must have been horribly uncomfortable. I big of boob and nothing fits comfortably without a bra.

Could her appearance be a sign that she is not coping or do you think maybe she is doing it to make a point?

(About what I don't know)

Well, your question was, would I be embarrassed?

No- I never ever get embarrassed by what other people look like. I don't see it as my issue.

but I feel like all she is doing is showing that she completely doesn't care what she looks like

So maybe she doesn't, simple as that. She doesn't have to.

It is fine if people don't care what they look like. I know someone like that, I am never embarrassed by them.
Shaving hair, if you have never been into that, is a common thing to do when you are depressed.

If she seems otherwise fine within herself i.e. no PND, then there's not much for it other than to cut down on your meet-ups as you will be invariably embarrassed.