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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Visiting nursing home with toddler

19 replies

viviennewestood · 29/07/2016 10:25

This is more of a WWYD.

My grandma is 93 today and lives in a nursing home. It's not a nice place to be, there are lots of people with alzheimers who are very unpredictable and there can be lots of shouting and crying out etc.

My grandma is in a special chair and can't be moved without a lot of effort so going to her room isn't an option.

I'm undecided as to whether to take dd or not?

OP posts:

summerainbow · 29/07/2016 10:56

Take her she cheer everyone up .

Only1BabyPigeon · 29/07/2016 10:59

Take her. Take some toys she likes, some crayons and colouring books. Maybe a couple of biscuits she likes.

I'm sure she won't take much notice of things, but obviously it will be easier to judge when she's there. If it's upsetting for her no one will mind if you leave.

I think most elderly love to see little ones.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 29/07/2016 11:02

Take her I used to bring my ds to visit my godmother all the time - as pp stated bring a few bits to keep her occupied- lovely for your grab take a few pics of the 3 of you too enjoy 💐

NeedACleverNN · 29/07/2016 11:03

Take her but be prepared to leave if either your Dd or another patient has an episode

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 29/07/2016 11:03

Kids are often more resilient than we give them credit for

Whatdoesaduckdo · 29/07/2016 11:05

Take her. I took my toddlers to visit my granda in his nursing home when he was in his late nineties he loved it and the other residents loved it and made such a fuss my girls lives going for a wee sit in the day room snuggling in and listening to the residents - I think more children should visit

timelytess · 29/07/2016 11:06

dgd used to visit my mum, who loved to see her. care homes are not nice places but visitors mean the world to residents.

CMOTDibbler · 29/07/2016 11:06

I wouldn't take her, unless she'll be content to sit in her pushchair with a toy. Not all people with dementia like small children, and certainly my mum is very unpredictable with them

cudbywestrangers · 29/07/2016 11:13

I took my ds to visit my grandad in various care homes. It was never easy but definitely worth the effort! And the staff and residents always seemed very happy to see him. If her own room isn't an option it might be worth phoning the home before you so the staff can make sure she is in the best place possible for you to go with a toddler without causing upset. Ds never seemed bothered by the other residents although he would be asking lots of questions if we went now he is a bit older

YorkieDorkie · 29/07/2016 11:16

Definitely take her! The oldies adore little kids I used to be a HCA and they were talking about the "little kiddies" for days afterwards!

OTheHugeManatee · 29/07/2016 11:17

Take her. The way the elderly are increasingly kept sequestered from the rest of the population harms all generations. She may dimly remember visiting her great-grandma as she gets older, and will otherwise come to no harm, and seeing a young child may well be a ray of sunshine to many residents in the home.

peneleope82 · 29/07/2016 11:18

We take our 2 children (2 and 1) to visit a relative in a nursing home and it seems to be so cheering for all the residents.

Last time we went an elderly lady came into the living room bit all excited saying 'I heard there's children here!'. It made my heart hurt.

Ratbagcatbag · 29/07/2016 11:21

When dd was a baby a few of the residents asked if they could hold dd. I was fine and it moved a couple of them to tears. As she got older they loved chatting and waving at her. Dfil was super proud of his dgd and the residents genuinely loved it. It was only for 30 mins to an hour at a time though.

DangerQuakeRhinoSnake · 29/07/2016 11:23

It will be worth it to cheer your grandma up surely?

LyndaNotLinda · 29/07/2016 11:25

I would take her. My DS was always very popular when I visited my gran.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 29/07/2016 11:27

My granny was in a nursing home at the end of her life. We always took our DC to see her when we could. PPs are right; it was a lovely time for Granny and a lot of the other residents when little ones were around

Original poster

viviennewestood · 29/07/2016 11:29

I'm going to take her I think I'll regret it I don't and it will hopefully make my grandma very happy.

OP posts:

blueturtle6 · 29/07/2016 11:30

Take toddler, but take another person in case another resident has an episode. We have same issue, one carries baby, other gets doors/security locks and generally fends off any shouty residents until.nurses come

HopperBusTicket · 29/07/2016 11:30

I agree with others. If your daughter is old enough you could explain that some of the people in the home aren't very well and if they shout out she shouldn't be frightened and you will be there to take care of her. But my suspicion is that she'll be fine and your gran and the other residents will absolutely love to see her. My grandma had dementia and her face absolutely lit up when my sister took her baby son to see her. Pure happiness.

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