To not want to meet up with my friend EVERY SINGLE DAY.

[littlemisssocialworker]

That's it really. I made friends with her years ago and we stopped contact after she got married. I never heard from her after that and it made me realise I had been used for company rather than for a genuine friendship.

Her marriage ended after months and she returned to this country 3 years later. I had no message or phone call in those few years she was not in the UK.

I then bumped into her in a restaurant and we chatted while my son played with her daughter. There is a year between them. She added me on Facebook afterwards and I accepted just to be nice.

Since then she has asked me to meet up every single day. I feel completely and utterly smothered. She's clearly very lonely with no friends. She has no friends because unfortunately she just isn't a likeable person and she lies a lot/seems emotionally unstable. She spends a lot of time talking about her boyfriend who she met at University when everyone knows she met him online and has never even met him.

My Son enjoys playing with her daughter and so I did agree to meet up quite a bit and I wouldn't have minded meeting up once a week or even twice a week.

If she had her way she would see me every single day, all day. So far this week I met her in town for most of the day. That was Monday. She then arranged to meet up on Tuesday to go to soft play, Wednesday for a fair, Thursday for swimming, Friday for a picnic!!! These are all really nice activities but I didn't want to spend that much time with her and while I do meet up about 4 times a week with her because my son likes her daughter and I feel sorry for her, I'm just getting exhausted.

I managed to make an excuse to not go out yesterday and she arranged on the phone to go swimming today at 11am. I said 'oh I will see how I get on'. She has rang me 5 times now to see if I was going so I made my apologises and said I had some food shopping to do. She then said it was okay we would meeting up on Saturday!

I have tried to introduce her to some more friends and have introduced her to a lot of my Mummy friends. None of them liked her and she tried adding them on Facebook after the first meeting which they found a bit forward. They also didn't like that she refuses to let her ex see their child (she says she wants a clean break) but it is very selfish when he's a good Dad. He hasn't seen their daughter for over a year.

If she lived locally I wouldn't mind, and if I liked her more I wouldn't mind. But I need to some how faze out this friendship as I'm feeling really smothered and to be honest I think she's only using me for company. If she got a boyfriend in the area I would never hear from her again. She lives 45 mins drive away and more on public transport so it's also a financial issue meeting up as we meet somewhere in the middle each time. I don't enjoy travelling that amount in the week.

I know some people are really lonely and would love someone like her! I'm just not the right match for her.

Honestly, what would you do? Any tips on fazing out this friendship? She has already decided I'm her bestfriend and it's kinda creepy.

Don't feel bad. She was the one who dropped you first, years ago.

Now she's lonely and you're expected to get on board and find space for her neediness.

She sounds very controlling. I had one of those and after daily telephone calls at my place of work (she'd say it was an emergency to get past reception), I very gently suggested we could have these conversations after work hours so I didn't get into trouble with my boss.

She turned on me and I never heard from her again. When you stop being of use to these types, they don't want to know. Another friend had to do similar with this same woman, and she turned on her too. Sent her texts tell her she hoped she'd get cancer, etc. Then it became clear to me why I was about the only person who still bothered with her.

Just don't feed the vampire. Stop picking up/responding so much. Respond very rarely and then only to say your life has got so busy lately you just don't have time. Or just tell her straight. She may not take it well though, as she obviously does not pick up social cues.

She sounds very controlling

I don't think she sounds controlling. Lonely, maybe. Desperate for friendship..
It's cruel to keep giving her the impression you like her by accepting invitations. Be honest and tell her you don't want to meet up so often ...or at all.
It's not her problem...It's yours.

If it's too hard to be brutal (I'd have difficulty myself) get it down to once a week and then after a while start cancelling out on that one day until it peters out.
Get in first and say --I'm only free/able to meet up one day next week. The trouble is, I find I really can't afford the expense and I've been neglecting the housework and cooking (DH is now noticing) and I do have other regular commitments I need to catch up with (clubs, meet ups or whatever you can think of). Or mum has agreed to babysit while I do volunteer work for my church, local charity etc and I committed to that way back in February and can't let them down. You get the drift?
Just be firm and don't get diverted. Weekends are for family so no outings then. Then no matter what you are not free for any outing whatsoever, even the Queens Garden Party.
Good Luck

I am struck by your name 'lilmisssocialworker'

I hope you aren't really a Social Worker, your services users would run rings around you!

Get assertive, just say no. I have a friend around the corner from me, i adore her, I adore her kids, but we totally respect each others need for space too. I say no I'm busy, or nesting or whatever and she says no if she needs to stay in, do something else, whatever. When its yes, its a happy get together. Which is how it should be!