one and a half million neglected children in uk

[Longlost10]

Action for children chugger in the shopping mall this afternoon, tried to convince me that there are one and a half million neglected children in the uk, relying on charity donations for education and medical care.

can't get my head round that.

I think me skepticism offended him, but I didn't find anything he said convincing...

AIBU? or is it true?

Those charity workers are paid absolute fortunes do the work - I went for an interview when I was about 20 for a call centre, when I turned up I found out I would be calling people asking for money for the charity lotteries. I was told the wage was £7.60 per hour, or I could have the option of going 'self employed' and would work solely on commission (£20 per person signed up) I couldn't do it as I HATE those phonecalls you get all the time (I didn't know what the actual job entailed as I had been sent through an agency and was just told call centre - didn't even specify in or outbound!!)
When I was at the interview they made me sit with one of the team to 'see if I would like it' and they were really aggressive! Really pushing people to sign up for it and getting quite short when they said no. I hated it and haven't signed up for a charity since (they pass your details to these people) when I give money to charity now I will do a run and raise some money through just giving and they Send the money to the charity.
I hate the ones in town and I hate the ones on the phone - don't worry OP that you offended him - he does not care about the charity he cares about his own pockets - I bet you see him out doing a different one next week!

I know where you're coming from aye and I agree with you that DD's father is negectful towards her.

But it doesn't necessarily follow that she is "neglected" in the sense that most people would understand that word to mean- i.e. has needs that are not met.

question is whether one and a half million uk children are actually experiencing neglect in their lives

They are, from their NRP fathers.

Look, the chugger was probably just making shite up to try and push you to give money. Education and medical care is pretty much free in the UK. If their parents are neglecting taking them to school and the doctor, I doubt they then engage charities to do it instead.

But there are certainly plenty of children in the UK experiencing a form of neglect, even if they aren't aware of it. If all the billions owed in child support was paid their lives would probably be so much more comfortable.

Living in poverty does not automatically mean a child is neglected. They are totally different things. Are you sure his figures were uk ones though? The whole paying for education/medical thing wouldn't apply as they are free here so it doesn't make sense to me. Although I wouldn't be surprised if the numbers are correct.

These days, I only support charities via JustGiving when a friend is doing something to raise funds, or by donating items to the food bank box at my local supermarket. Once charities have your details on file, they bombard you with statistics like these, which may or may not be true.

I agree that absent fathers (and it's usually fathers) should be chased up and made to pay for their progeny. The state and charities should/can only provide so much.

all these figures depend on criteria.

I saw a poverty figure (about 3 years ago) that was created by comparing children to their peers. So even families that were, in fact, well off were put in figures, because they lived in an affluent area and were 'poor' in comparison.

Again it really depends on what they mean by neglected. I would email the charity and ask them for that information and also ask them why children in the uk need money for education (I am assuming it will be uniform etc rather than actual education) and medical care (I can't think of why 1.5 million children need money for medical care).

Medical care - may mean another adult ensuring the child goes to appointments - or paying bus fairs or taxi fares - maybe nurse at home to clean or check on the child - down parents don't seem to know kids dentist and eye appointments/glasses are free , so don't take them.

longlost. This has an awful lot to do with the non payment of child support. Way too man households who receive no maintenance are the same ones that are in poverty. There is a link. Obviously depends on individual household circumstances.

They are, from their NRP fathers

no, not getting child support does not make a child neglected.

It might make the mother angry, it doesn't automatically make her incapable of caring for her children

So why aren't the deadbeat dads charged with neglect?

If I did what my ex did then DS would be roaming the streets in an Artful Dodger kind of way.

We both have 'Parental Responsibility'. Why is he allowed to fuck off?

What if tomorrow I packed up and left? Would we both he arrested??

Neglect is not a fixed thing though. If you couldn't afford a complete new uniform because your child suddenly shot up you could apply for help from a charity. It could be classed as neglect in that you are not providing the correct uniform but no one would think that you were actually neglecting your child. It's very much a term which doesn't always mean the same in different situations or to different people. Neglect is a very emotive word but what does it actually mean.

If the NRP is absent and not paying, they are being neglected by that parent.

It doesn't mean they suffer neglect in the same way a child whose RP is neglectful. But it is neglect and should be criminal in the same way it would be if the RP was doing it.

Medical care - may mean another adult ensuring the child goes to appointments - or paying bus fairs or taxi fares - maybe nurse at home to clean or check on the child - down parents don't seem to know kids dentist and eye appointments/glasses are free , so don't take them.

I can see your point but that wouldn't be rely Ming on charity for medical care. Surely that would be 'ensure children can access the free medical care', iyswim.

A charity should be really clear on what they are raising money for. The chugger, imo, was very vague. Probably because the charity, itself, is vague about it too.

no, not getting child support does not make a child neglected.

Yes it does. The child is being neglected by one of its two parents. A child has a legal right to be supported by both. The (usually) father is neglecting his child.

Usually the mother runs herself into the ground to make up the shortfall so the chikd doesn't suffer, but that doesn't make it OK that the father is neglecting his child, and his legal responsibilities as a parent.

I'd agree that an ensemble father is neglecting his duty of care towards that child - the child won't have extended family on that side - or the relationships or a role model (probably a crap role model anyway!)

But still neglect

not having a father in your life is not neglect, it really isn,t.. if the mother is not capable of caring properly for the children, or raises them angrily and with bitterness, that is abuse, of a different kind.

Ah, I see. It's only mothers who can neglect their children if they do the exact same thing the father does.

So you're just straight up sexist then.

I can well believe the figures. Work in a primary school and you'll see it. Take your children to school and you'll see it at their school.

And there is also the emotional neglect that you can't see.

Yes, the figures are probably true.

Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and is the most common form of child abuse. A child may be left hungry or dirty, without adequate clothing, shelter, supervision, medical or health care. A child may be put in danger or not protected from physical or emotional harm.

at no point does this refer to the father paying anything to the mother. That simply doesn't come in to it at all on any level

I agree with aye too.

Any father walking out in their child, not spending time with them and not contributing to them financially or emotionally is neglecting them. The child might still get everything they need from their mother but the father is being negligent.

Ah, I see. It's only mothers who can neglect their children if they do the exact same thing the father does.

So you're just straight up sexist then.

not in the slightest, it doesn't make a single iota of difference who is caring for the child, they may never see either parent again after the day of their birth ever, incidentally this happens for thousands of adopted children. This does not in any way make them neglected.

It is other posters who are trying to equate this with absent fathers. As I said, if this level of anger and bitterness is projected into the child's life, that is certainly abuse of a different kind.

If a child is being cared for appropriately by an adult they are not neglected, reagrdless of who is or isn't taking care of them. Arguing they're being neglected by a non paying/resident parent is just being pedantic when that's not what the statistics are remotely referring to.

Wholeheartedly agree about absent Fathers for reasons already posted.

A parent who ignores his child must be guilty of emotional neglect in most cases but that is probably not counted in these figures unless the charity is providing counselling or courses for self esteem?

I would also guess the charities would be including issues such as areas with a huge incidence of dental decay or child obesity where they might run large scale campaigns on health promotion. So not all cases are kids sleeping on piles of rags and without shoes.

I personally have a number of charities I donate to monthly and I have told them all that I do not wish to receive 'update' further begging phone calls and will withdraw my support if they do call me. Smaller charities tend to spend more wisely and don't waste as much on CEOs and PR.

Not saying the child is being neglected in the case of an absent father discobabe, rather that the father is being negligent of their responsibilities. We have way too much of that in the UK.