AIBU not to send my ds to pre school?

[Puddleduckthe2nd]

My DS is entitled to his free hours from April next year, he is currently full time at a CM, as I work but everyone has been saying that in order for him to start school without problems he should be going to preschool to get used to the environment.

The main reason we are not sending him to a big nursery is that we can't afford it, even with the free hours included for the year it is £300 a month more expensive.

Our CM doesn't do pick up or drop offs so if he were to go to a preschool with no extra wrap around care, he would also need to change cm, which I don't want to do as he loves his cm and she is fantastic.

Also I feel that he will be in the school system for so many years that it would be nice for him to have the last year in a home from home setting where he is still following the early years curriculum. He goes to toddler groups, there are two other children in cms setting, so he does interact with other children. Also he interacts with his cousins and family friends children.

My family are very against our decision to leave him at the CM until he starts school.

AIBU to think that he won't suffer when he starts school for the sake of an extra year or am I being deluded?

If you change your mind you could put him into pre school the Jan term or April term before he is due to start in Sept so he has a term or two settling in. I think it's more important that they can self care, go to the toilet independently, dress themselves, be able to use cutlery. It sounds like he is socialising with other children lots and he is used to being away from you so it shouldn't be a huge shock.

One of my children didn't go and he settled in fine. As long as the childminder has stimulating activities and other children to socialise with there shouldn't be any problem. I know one of the teachers left her son at his childminders and then did one day a week in the school nursery to socialise with his peers.

It's entirely up to you. If the current arrangement is working, well, why change it? You know your child and what they can cope with better than any of us.

With regards to pick ups etc, do you have a nursery nearby that does 8-6 days? My DS does his 15 hours as 2 full days a week which is awesome as it lines up with office hours. Just thinking that if you did want to try nursery in future, this might be an option. Personally, I think it has been good for my DS as his class is getting used to sitting on the carpet, putting away coats, doing slightly more structured lessons etc, but it's not like they'd be at a huge disadvantage if they didn't have that.

I completely agree with Dinosaur roar. Going from no school to all day and then after school as well will be overwhelming. I'd be sending him to preschool. He will also form friendships he will carry right through school.

If he doesn't go, he will need to not only get use to school and after school care but also form new friendships with children who may already have them. It's a lot to put on him.

I'd maybe see if there's a new cm closer and send him there say a certain amount of days and to preschool and then his other cm a couple of days a week so he still sees her. That means his contact with her is being reduced rather than completely stopped like it would be when he starts school. Also gives you the option of maybe sending him some days to after school and other's to the new cm so he can chill out more after school in a home setting.

i agree with puddles, going from a home based CM env to all day in school + ASC would not have gone over at all well with my DD. She's always been in nursery and I had to drop after school club as she couldn't cope with school + after school club. I'm on the fence about 3-4 but I think your DC should be in preschool by 4 exactly to smooth the transition, at least a couple of days of the week so the environment's more familiar

lalalemon I would be interested to know how long it took those children who hadn't been in the nursery to "catch up" with the other children. I bet it wouldn't have taken more than a week. Of those who took longer to adjust, (if any) the cause may have been their natural dislike of the school style setting and if they had been forced to attend at a younger age, who is to say that they would have flourished any better.

My eldest child attended pre-school but I don't think he ever enjoyed it. A few years after leaving pre-school he found out that it had not been compulsory to attend and he said mournfully "I never realised that I didn't have to go."

OP if you have found a solution that works for you and your child then go for it.

If a child has to do nursery to prepare for school what do they do to prepare for nursery....

I was so happy, and more importantly so was DD when I took her out of nursery to have her last four months at home with me before school after not settling at play school or nursery. She was 4.1 when she started school and was totally fine.

I think to change his cm now and then put him in nursery is a big change for him now also, rather than one change later on.

He would still go to current cm during holidays at least when he is still little, so don't really want to move him from her, as he does really enjoy it.

I will look into doing two full days in a nursery rather than a full week of pre school.

He would finish school at 3.05 and then I would pick him up by four, so he would be out of the house/away from me the same amount of time as he is now.

Our primary schools, don't have preschools attached, so all either independent nurseries and independent pre schools.

When he first starts school, me and DH are planning to take holiday between us, so for the first month of settling in, one of us will pick him up at normal time/ staggered time.

My ds is with a child minder two days a week and I plan on putting him into pre school for one morning a week when he gets his free hours, he was at a nursery but childminder is better for him! She does lots of activities with him which include toddler groups etc so I think one morning will be ok for him

My son is at a nursery that is explicitly not pre-school. We already send our kids to school at an earlier age than 88 per cent of the world. Then we send them to nurseries at 3 and 4 which aim to prepare them for a school environment. I think it is a bit bonkers. Let them be kids for a few short years!

I would try to give him a couple of terms of preschool, but it doesn't have to be full weeks - maybe two days a week? That way, you could afford it. I really do think they benefit from learning how to interact with a group, sit and listen, follow a structured day etc. before they arrive at school.

Do what makes you feel happy and comfortable but mostly what's best for ds and if that's with cm and he's happy and content and thriving then I wouldn't change it tbh. My kids friends some went to nursery some didn't and I couldn't tell which was which.

Reception is to help them settle in, but perhaps one day a week at a nursery would help with structure and things like eating / using the loo in a communal rather than home based environment
My eldest has just finished nursery today and it has been fantastic for her. I also think it's nice for them to have time when they are all "big kids" and don't have to be careful arojnd babies or quiet at naptime etc. That said I am a SAHM so no childminder experience as to whether it is like that!

Have confidence in your choice, though. A friend had people question her choice to keep her little lad with CM rather than move to a preschool once free hours kicked in. Turns out in lots of places CMs won't accept the free hours so people thought she was turning down free childcare.