Year 6 leaving books...is this a bit silly of the school?

[VioletBam]

My DD left last year so I do realise this is not really affecting me...but...it HAS affected my friend whose son has left this year.

The school makes a year book with a page for each year 6 child. The child fills out a questionnaire with things such as

Favourite school trip ever

Best playtime memory

And so forth

And there's a bit that says "Best friends:"

My friend's son listed his 5 best friends and only one of the boys has listed him in THEIR list.

He IS upset about it. He won't stop looking at the book and hasn't wanted to go out to play as he feels his friends don't rate him.

Isn't it a bit blind of the school to do this?

What a short sighted and mean question, someone is sure to feel slighted no matter what.
Surely there are lots of other options.... Future ambitions would be a better use of the space.

I can understand why he might be a bit upset; I think I would feel that a bit too. Maybe try to spin it that the boy that put his name down must be his best best friend? Don't really know what would make him feel better.

I really hate the year book / prom / leavers jumper / water slide on the field after being dismissed on the last day etc etc faff that all seems to be ubiquitous now. Thankfully, in every school I've worked in, it's not the school that organises these ridiculous things, it's the parents. So I can choose to have absolutely nothing to do with them.

I totally think that is terrible. When we left lower school, then middle school we had to give the teacher 4 names of people we wanted to be in the same class as in the next school. That caused ructions as you can imagine.

I had to ask my Guides (similar age) who they wanted to share tents with at camp, took each one individually to one side and emphasised that leaders would be making the decision

That was fraught enough! I certainly wouldn't have published their responses for all to see'

Friendships are so important for this age group but constantly changing too. You could have best friends who had had a fight that morning, get asked and pick other people, then are best friends by lunchtime but the record shows then not best friends

Green that's still standard.

I did have an experience with DDs year 4 teacher which APPEARED to be on these lines but was actually a clever trick.

She asked all the children to secretly write the name of ONE person who they would like to sit next to. This was at the start of term.

I thought "What!? Why would she do this!?"

But then someone told me it's a way of finding out the child who nobody puts down. A way of quickly identifying the child who'se left out or bullied.

Then the issue can be more quickly resolved.

Thanks Violet, he's doing fine now!

The other thing that annoyed him enormously about his stupid yearbook experience (P7 in Scotland as opposed to Year 6 in England) was the "nickname" thing. He had never, ever had a nickname, nor did he want one, so he left that bit blank. For some unfathomable reason they stuck the name "Mighty Mouse" in for him. He is/was neither mighty nor a mouse. He was absolutely fucking livid, that bothered him more than not being cited as a friend by anyone. Honestly, burning it was the best thing he could have done, it wasn't fit to wipe his arse on! .

I wouldn't want to answer that question now! Bloody stupid idea.

Probably a situation where the school meant well.
But it backfired.

They should stick with less personal questions.
Best trip.
Favourite subject
Favourite teacher.
Favourite dinner. ..

I would tend to feel that five people isn't best friend. Best friends to me would tend to be 1-2 people. So he's listed his friendship group, but, by the sound of it, they chose their actual best friend. Does that make sense?

I didn't really have a best friend at primary. Would have struggled to name any. Probably wouldn't have been named by anyone. I don't think not being named would have upset me because I'd have expected that, which in a lot of ways is sadder.

I found as a parent infant school leavers assembly worse for one of mine. They'd let them all write something to say that they would miss or best bit of school. A fair number said "I will miss ny best friend...." Or my best memory is meeting my best friend ...."
It was firstly exceedingly boring compared to my other dc's one which was much more "In year 1 we painted dragons and made fortune cookies" type memory. And there were children who were in what seemed to be a close three, where the other two mentioned each other. And thirdly they were all going up to the sane juniors so saying they'd miss them was silly and upsetting then in an unnecessary way.

I was miffed why people who left my secondary school part way through had more photos of themselves in our leavers book than I had. It's an oversight by the school but you just need to tell your son that although he may not have been named by all of them that they still like him. At that age the boys probably didn't really think about it

When you mentioned Y6 Leaving Books I foolishly thought this referred to the school giving each child a present of a book, to read; my children were given a copy of the Children's illustrated Bible on leaving their C of E Infant school and they have them still, (treasured or not, I couldn't say.) Instead, this Year Book seems to be an idea imported from America and not really appropriate to Primary school, but may appeal to the children.
I would say your friend's son is massively over-reacting.

It was short sighted of the school to do this. If someone wasn't popular they wouldn't want a reminder. I think what has happened in your friend's DS's case is likely a different definition of best friends. His friends probably thought they had to pick only one person out of their group whereas he has put everyone he's close to. It doesn't mean they don't care about him too.

Peppa. You have ruined both Peppa Pig and bacon for me with your user name (disapproving face as am crap with emoticons)

Nothing wrong with yearbooks, but listing best friends is not a great idea!!

I agree, desperately hurtful for an 11-year-old, at a time when they are more likely than usual to feel fragile, leaving the relative security of junior school for the big pond of senior, worrying about how they will fit in. Such a bruise to their social self-esteem at that time is just cruel.

If I were that child's mother, I would have an aching void in my chest for him.

It's just another way for bullied children to feel like shit. And for a school Who work with children every day-is it staffed with complete idiots. They should be hyper aware of things like this.