To think I am the worst Godmother and don't deserve the title

[badonkydonk]

My Goddaughter has recently turned four - she is an absolute dream and I am incredibly privileged to have been asked to play that part in her life.

I am really asking for advice on how to be more involved. I see her a lot and myself and my husband are always welcomed by her i.e. lots of hugs and she is comfortable with us both. They live 2+ hours away but I make a point of finishing work early and spending an evening with her a couple of times a month (not enough, I know). When I do pop down, we have days out with mum and dad but I am not brave enough to look after her on my own.

My issue is (and here is the advice section), we both would love for her to come and stay with us for a night or a weekend but I am absolutely petrified by little children. Myself and my husband only have one friend with kids and as an only child, I never had the experience of there being a little one in the house. This means, aside from the fun stuff, I have absolutely no idea how to look after a little one.

I know I am being amazingly unreasonable but this is really playing on my mind. I am 29 years of age and the thought of having a child in my care frightens me so much that I feel I am loosing out.

As I said, I would love to have her come and stay but, I worry that I know so little about how to care for children either I won't provide adequate care, she'll hate it (because I have no idea) or I'll do something wrong.

Any words of wisdom or advice would be incredibly well received.

I have several Godchildren and have never looked after any of them overnight or during the day, other than spending a bit of one to one time with them when we happened to find ourselves in a separate room but same house as their parents or walking together on an outing when spending the weekend with their parents. Neither I nor my Godchildren's parents have ever assumed that Godparent = babysitter/childminder.

I've never had my GD overnight!

My kids GPs have never had then over night.

If the mum wants a few child free nights she needs to either find someone who offers in the first place (as opposed to being pressured into it), or pay for a qualified/confident overnight babysitter!

My kids see their GPs a few times a year (not local) and gets birthday, christmas, easter & back to school presents.

I see my GD a couple of times a year, WITH her family, I spoile her when I see her and post her little bits of pieces as well as bigger presents for birthday/christmas.

The mum wants a babysitter. If you like babysitting, do it, if you don't don't. It's not a godparenting requirement.

It is something that I want to do and I never thought that I was asked to be Godmother just to be a peripatetic baby sitter. I just wanted to engage with her more and having her to stay seemed the right thing to do.

I'll follow through on my idea of gradually getting used to looking after her at her house and work up.

I originally only found this site as I was looking for a power tool for my husbands birthday and Google lead me here - I have since found out that a similar search led him here too.

On behalf of of both of us, I thank you all

if you want to then great, I don't see the benefit of overnight particularly if you just want to engage with her, my kids love sleepovers with other kids, but for a treat with a special adult they like an outting of their choosing (cinema, show, skate rink etc, icecream parlour).

They love when they get to make the decisions: where they go and what they do and where to eat etc… getting to plan the whole outting makes them feel really special.

It sounds like you know her really well, so she would probably be fine. But is she used to your house (if you normally go to them?). If not, invite her for a day first to see how it goes. Also, why is her mum so keen on you having her, is it because she thinks the little girl wants to visit you, or is she after a spot of babysitting ( no problem with that, just wondering if the enthusiasm for a sleepover comes from goddaughter or her mum). You shouldn't worry too much about looking after her, get in some food she likes, organise a nice activity (don't try and do something too big, local park or petting farm). She's very young so will go to bed quite early, so you'll have the evening to draw breath and get ready for breakfast!

My kids stay up really late when they stay round other adults houses Sara, even when they were that young.

I don't mind and make sure whoever is minding them doesn't panic if they don't get them down at usual bedtime, it's okay to let the routine go for one night in another environment. But that's me, the mum in the OP might expect more routine compliance than me in which case she should pay someone and not take the piss

At home there's no screens at bedtime etc, but when they're being overnight babysat in someone else's house who I'm no paying I don't mind if they stay up watching movies and drinking too many hot chocolates!

Sorry love but that awards mine! I bought a four year old roller skates that they wanted. Broken arm took about 3minutes from them coming out of the box

Sorry if I've missed this at all..but do your goddaughter's parents want you to take her for an overnight? Have you discussed it with them?

If you have and you want to then why not just sit down with them and ask them to explain things like her bedtime routine to you, and any requests they might have for how you spend your time. And don't forget you can always phone them for advice too if you aren't sure about anything!

just talk to the parents and see what they think is my main advice. And relax also, once you do it the once you will be fine.