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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to feel she stole her thunder?

39 replies

38cody · 25/07/2016 01:25

I arranged my DDS party about 6 weeks before the end of term and invited the whole (yr 1) class - a multi sport party, 2pm for an hour, 3pm tea.
Another parent in the class emailed me a week before saying she hoped I wouldn't mind but as it was the end of term there wasn't much time for her to organise dates so she had booked her DD.s party for the same day in the morning (11 til 1) and also invited the class. hers was trampolining,
It was 45mins drive through London traffic from mine so the kids who did come had to dash from one party to the next, those who didn't drive couldn't make it in time and those who did come were all a bit tired and stuffed full of party food from hers. My daughter of course couldn't go to the other girls party as we were setting hers up and I just think it was mean and that she kind of took the magic out of her day.
after the sports none of the kids ate anything as they'd just eaten,
Am I being a bit precious or was the other mother hugely inconsiderate?

OP posts:

anotherdayanothersquabble · 25/07/2016 11:14

YANBU.

It was 6 weeks before the end of term, not the week before.

She emailed you the week before so presumably had either left it to the last minute or left it till the last minute to let you know there was a clash.

If you had sent invitations out first, those who choose the other party over yours were a bit unreasonable, especially if they had RSVP'd.

She could have spoken to you to see if it was possible to make some adjustments to the timings / help with logistics etc.

This happened to my DD two years ago, her's was the first party though and the first invitation. We moved the party timings a bit and a few parents car pooled to save everyone driving around all day. (Also 45 minutes apart!!). The children were very tired and didn't eat much at party number two!

Sorry for you and your DD!

Notso · 25/07/2016 11:19

It happens a lot DS1 was once invited to two parties in the same venue an hour apart. To this day I don't know why the parents didn't get their heads together and do a joint party.

I think it is wrong if people who confirmed they were coming to your party didn't turn up because of the other party assuming your invitations went out first.

bumsexatthebingo · 25/07/2016 11:19

Yabu. There may have been children who had chosen to just attend your party so I doubt the mum would have chosen the same day if there was an alternative available.

Loafingaround · 25/07/2016 11:42

YANBU!
Very rude to you and to other parents making their day even more stressful having to potentially chauffeur from one party to the next. But mainly to you. You got in there first and planned ahead, she should have done the same. No big deal at all to arrange something the day after. Poor manners and attitude.

Beeziekn33ze · 25/07/2016 11:53

YANBU you had arranged your DD's party and given plenty of notice. The other mother should have talked to you before she booked the morning party, not after.
She was thoughtless and discourteous. They are only Y1 and would be 'partied out', tired and full of food at the second party.
Her party could have been in the holiday or next term. I'd be miffed if I were in your position.

CalleighDoodle · 25/07/2016 12:02

Yanbu but the solution chaos gave was great, and suprisingly very organised

FeelingSmurfy · 25/07/2016 20:37

I bet there were some that planned to do both but kids were tired after first or shopping needed to be bought at some point etc and a decision was made on collecting the child from the first party.

If I was in position of parent of invited child then I would probably limit to one, thinking ahead to how they would be after a day of full on partying and adults being stuck and not being able to get stuff done all day, and the first invitation received would be the one they went to

Kids often don't eat at parties anyway though, so there may not have been much difference in that

Oh and I would have wanted to stay and help you set up rather than go to the other party, it makes your party more special because you get the build up of excitement. Going from one party to yours wouldn't feel as special. My favourite job used to be doing party bags!

NavyandWhite · 25/07/2016 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GeorgeTheThird · 25/07/2016 20:46

Next year at least you'll know to coordinate. It might save you some money over the years to come!

ChocolateButton15 · 25/07/2016 20:58

Yanbu I would of been so upset! How selfish can some people be! I hope your daughter had a nice party anyway

RainyDaisy · 26/07/2016 17:43

Precious. Sorry

RedHareWithBlondeHair · 26/07/2016 18:19

Yanbu - 'I'm sorry but I'm about to shit on your plans'.

An apology doesn't mitigate her actions.

allowlsthinkalot · 26/07/2016 18:33

I think YABU. We often end up with two parties on the same day. I'd rather that than have them on separate days so that they don't eat into the rest of our lives too much. I don't drive and I'd have sent dd with a friend, which you could have done with your dd - or one of you set up and the other take her?

Xmasbaby11 · 26/07/2016 18:39

Yabu. I'm sure this was the best / only time that suited them. It's just one of those things.

We've been to two parties in a day and even when there's a decent gap, the kids are tired by the second one.

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