Expectations in the school holidays

[LovelyBath77]

My husband's at work this week and the kids are having their first full week of the holidays. We're going on holiday for two weeks as a family next week, so I was kind of thinking of just chilling at home, getting things ready etc. However he has just been going on about it being good for the kids to do some stuff this week, not 'just going to the park for a couple of hours' things like going to London to the museums, etc. I'm trying to save for our holiday and know a trip to London on the train would be expensive tiring and stressful. We're knackered, I'm recovering from shingles and the boys have had a busy year at school. Feeling guilty now for wanting to stay at home, and like I need to go into the swimming pool etc as well. Feeling a bit like a bad mummy, but why can't we just relax at home? He says they'll just play on the computer / tablet all day but I would have boundaries with it, and they have kindles for reading which they like. I think, he's jealous as he has to work because he keeps saying he'd gladly swap with me and he'd take them out to things etc. I suggested the nearby museum having some free craft things on, but he said that would be boring (at the dinner table, thanks for that). Why does everything need to be super exciting, and stimulating. Or am I being unreasonable?

My parents had very little money when my sister and I were children, so we rarely had trips out, etc, but we would go for walks/the park daily and loved 'chill-out' time at home, doing drawing/reading/imaginative play. I honestly don't remember ever having been bored and I think if our mum and dad had insisted we had stimulating & educational activities every day, we may have been mightily fed up.

He's not your boss. That really is the only thing you need to know. Why does he think he gets to tell you how to organise your time with the children?

I never like DD doing much for the first week, it's chill out time! Plus we're also getting ready for our holiday. Save stuff like that for when they're starting to get bored of being home all the time!

All arguments about whose approach is right aside (it's yours), if you're recovering from shingles you need to be having as much of a chill-out week as you can yourself if you want to get the most out of your holiday.

How old are your DC? Surely that has a big impact on how easily they can entertain themselves? Also, it's good for them to learn how to pass time when they're not actively being entertained. Going to the park and swimming are both great exercise, and I'm sure there are loads of things they can do about the house. What's wrong with lazing in the garden with a good book?

Why is he planning your days for you and undermining your plans? Does he normally do this or is it a new thing?

They are probably looking forward to a good loll at home with Mum on tap for jokes and cuddles when needed. That's what my sprogs tend to like, especially at the very beginning of the holidays. I took mine to the pool this morning and did cooking this evening, with a nap (for me) in-between. Everyone was happy.

Constant stimulation and the expectation they will be super-excited to do things is tiresome for them in every sense.

They'll really appreciate your holiday when you go.

I think they do need to zone out, mooch about, do not much for a couple of weeks.

Sounds like you need it too, op.

I think because you are not 100% recovered from your bout of shingles that it is wise to rest up as much as you can before you go away on holiday next week.

I personally find it easier to be out and about with the DC than at home. If we have had a nice couple of hours out I don't feel so guilty about them and me sitting in front of the tv or computer when we get home.

I personally think a bit of a mix is best-days at home, local days out and sometimes going further afield on a "mini adventure".

First week is definitely wind down week in this house. They need some time to recover from the constant rush of school. I love that I don't have to wake them in the morning and we can just chill. Plenty of time in weeks 2-6 to do stuff.

Oh let them be lazy (you as well if you want) and take slow time to pack and prepare for your holiday. If he wants them to visit London then offer to make them sandwiches for the day and wave them off :) The indulgence of having nothing urgent to do or anywhere you need to be is wonderful

Ds3 (10) is half way through his holidays (we are in Scotland). We are not going away this year. So far he has been swimming twice, cinema once with a friend, soft play once, roller bowl with his db and db's gf and strawberry picking once, all local. So roughly two interesting things a week. He has been chilling with his friends, playing in the garden, on his screens and cycling about. He's quite happy. YANBU.

I plan one day out a week. Generally its in London, as we both love going. The rest of the time we potter around. DS sees mates, goes to the park, plays on the computer, watches too much telly. He is trying to write a pop song today! It's the holiday and I think it's good for him to chill. Our outings in London mix things he really likes and things I really like. I work in a school, so it's my holiday to. We have a dog so we walk her every day and so we always have time outside. I think that partners who work sometimes forget that everyday stuff, washing cleaning etc also needs to get done. I also remember really enjoying those endless summer days doing not much with my friends and too much telly. You are at home and know how hard spending six weeks with the kids is. You know the best way to make it work for both you and your children. I work and do some long periods of staying at home and work is always easier.

You nred to rest.

Pintrest has great ideas for 'mum im bored' jars.

Well according to some quite a few on this site, you should be giving your kids worksheets to do daily.

But personally I think a few days out locally is just fine. The house stuff still needs to be done, the food shopping, the packing, the cooking, cleaning, all the bloody little things that won't even have crossed his mind that you do already will still need doing.

We've been off since Weds lunchtime. We've had one afternoon at the beach, a morning at a local farm park, and another full (very long) day at the beach today which has left us all shattered. Dp is off to work in the morning, teen is off out with friends so the 10 year old and I will be having a downtime day. Although obviously all the beach stuff needs to be washed, the dinner needs to be prepped and cooked and the bathroom needs cleaning as it's full of bloody sand.

I try to limit days out to max of 3 a week if possible. We have a weeks camping coming up in a fortnight but between then and now we have two weddings to go to and I still haven't even thought about buying school uniform.

I know someone who has their kids out every single day of every weekend and all through every holiday. The children have no idea what boredom is and how to use their own time to find something to do. I certainly don't remember being taken on endless days out as a child, we mostly ran about in a huge feral group all day and went home to be scrubbed and fed at teatime.

When did we become so actively involved in entertaining children? Why can't they just go and do kid stuff without someone needing to be involved in organising it?

I'd be sending them outside to play

Mine are younger, I work on the principle of having a plan of some sort to get them away from the house for at least an hour each day, but beyond that, tablet and computer are banned until after dinner and will try to restrict TV. Some days the plan is invite a friend from school to meet us at the park, some days it's a trip to the library (making them walk), we have national trust membership so planning to walk round a couple of those for a day some times, but generally have few whole day plans. (DC1 has decided he's obsessed with strawberries this year and is eating a punnet at a time, so we're off to a PYO place this morning for a couple of hours).

My problem is when it pisses it down, the "just play out" or "pop to the park and see if X from school can meet us there" plans get cancelled, and my two get very fractuous stuck in the house all day.

Yes, Pinterest is brilliant.

You have every reason (not that you need any) for a chill out week. Your ideas for short local activities sound brilliant. Shingles can be a bugger to get over and you don't want it back next week.

If he's the only one left unhappy at the arrangements you're making he'll need to get over himself. As pp have said. You're the only boss in this matter.

Have fun. Feel better.

We spend most f the holidays just chilling out.

This is our kids second week and we haven't done anything spectacular yet. We have a new puppy who hasn't had all her injections yet, so any have full days out. We can't take her out and we wouldn't leave her all day.

The kids are fine. Play with puppy, puppy sleeps they amuse themselves for a bit. When the dogs has had her injections and we can go out more, it will be the park and places we can take the dog. The kids are going away with my parents for a week next week so will do plenty then.

They are 7 and 11. Eldest fine to amuse himself, goes to the shop for me as well, youngest a bit more, active and full-on. We don't have a garden so that is one reason to go out a lot, however there is one in the square we can use.

We are having a nice day today so far and husband has apologised for what he said. Eldest is reading to the youngest and they are laughing , neither has wanted to get dressed yet or go anywhere, we have cleaned out the hamster and I've done some clearing up and put away the shopping delivery. Going to take a picnic lunch out to the garden in a mo, as we have a delivery coming so good excuse to not go anywhere.

I will mention to him he could take them to the London museums later in the holidays perhaps, if he gets a day away from his work, or I could go as well, it would be easier with two. I'm more experienced than him, I know those times I've tried to do too much and wished we hadn't (although it is getting easier now they're older.)

My children (6 and 4) made of list of things they want to do:

Go to the beach, park, have a picnic, bike ride, go camping, help milk (my farmer friend's) cows, trampoline, nature walk, pond dipping at the nature reserve, play date with friends, bouncy castle, baking, read, visit the museum, visit the library, get ice scream, go on a train, swim, mini mornings at the cinema (£2 a ticket), science lab (experiments from Pinterest), craft day - im particularly keen on making lolly pop photos, painting, bbq, movie day, play tig.

Gosh, I'd punch my DH if he tried to dictate how we spent our days off.

I have the day off today, and my DC are just settling down to another Disney classic. We've been to the park and run a few errands but then it started raining. We'll go and visit my mum later too.

Mine DC like to chill out, they need the downtime as much as I do and their holidays are split between play scheme, my mum and my nana looking after them with DH and I off for 2 weeks towards the end.

I think you're being sensible, OP. Lots of activities cost a fair bit as well, even local activities aren't always free so we tend to have a few days mooching around the house.

My lot will not do anything for the first two weeks.
They watch TV and read .
I don't feel the need to entertain my dcs