To not know whether to go on our holiday

[poppetsocks]

My dad was diagnosed with cancer in Jan and has undergone 6months of chemo. A scan this week shows he still has cancer and he now has to go into hospital for a month for some very intense chemo. We are due to go away for 17days next week. It has been booked for months. My mum and dad are insisting we still go but I am so scared that something will happen while we're away. My husband has said we can cancel but then the dcs would be so upset ( my mum and dad have said not to tell them how bad it is yet so they don't worry) they do know grandad is very poorly but not about what has happened this week. My husband has also said he would be happy to take the dcs while I stay home but then I would worry about them. I was so looking forward to the holiday as its been a very stressfull year but now wish we hadn't booked it at all. I just don't know what to do.

[NellieEllieMummy]

Hi Poppetsocks, we are in a similar situation, although not due to travel for 8 weeks. My dad is undergoing palliative chemo now and is due to finish just before we go. Our holiday destination is an 11 hours flight away and we are due to be away for 2 weeks. I feel like you but I am being encouraged to go by my parents. We have already cancelled another holiday a few weeks back. I'm going to go for the sake of my own little family (DH and DC) who do need a holiday but I will worry and will be in daily contact. I've also considered, no matter where one is in the world you can be home in 24 hours. Hope you enjoy your holiday x

[poppetsocks]

I'm so sorry to hear so many people are or have been through the same situation NellieEllieMummy I wish you and your dad the best and hope you manage to enjoy your holiday. I am thinking I will probably go and just make sure I'm in daily contact and have a plan to get back if anything happens. Thanks to everyone for replying.

[GenghisCalm]

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles but I am so glad that you are going. I can speak from the other side.i had ovarian cancer and had to go into hospital for a major operation when my parents were due to go on holiday. I didn't tell them that I was going for surgery the morning after they flew away. I felt guilty that they were giving up enough to ensure my DH, DC and I were cared for for months before my surgery. I gave them a big kiss and sent them away on holiday. I knew that if we needed them they could come back and after the holiday they could help us again.

I felt that everyone gave a lot up to help me and my family when we needed it and everyone seemed to feel guilty and ashamed to live their own lives. I found it hard being so ill and helpless but I found it hardest that I took over my whole families lives for 18 months.

Enjoy your holiday and take back plenty of pictures and tell your Dad all about it as I know from experience that will be something to brighten his day.

[poppetsocks]

Thanks GenghisCalm really hope you are well now. I know that if it were me I would want my kids to go. Its just so hard and its human nature to always think of the worst things that could happen. I am trying to think positively and definitely am very positive around my dad. Think I just need to keep those positive thoughts in my head and push the bad ones out. I will see what happens on Tuesday I just pray that the doctors let him have this treatment. He has to have health checks to make sure hes strong enough. He wants it. He is determined to have it.