This Sunday we have a clash. My FILs birthday and a family gathering on my side, with some members of the family coming together for first time in around 5 years. I promised my aunt (organising the gathering) that we couldn't stay all day but wld be there for a couple of hours 12-2pm, explaining we would have to head off for my FILs birthday BBQ that afternoon. I discussed this with DH and all fine. Except tonight he clarified that he would not be coming to my family gathering, and had assumed the 'us' attending was just me and our DS. He said he would be spending the whole day with his dad, my FIL.
Now, I do understand he is his dad, but let me explain a little history. Whenever there has been a gathering or celebration of any sort, my FIL will put minimum effort in. He appears for a couple of hours max and then can be found in front of the tv, or in bed having a nap. It's widely accepted he dsnt 'do' gatherings and that's just the way it is.
My family gathering will involve family members from half way up the country that my DH has never met (in 12 years of being together) who have new babies that I have never met. while I totally understand that my DH wants to spend the day with his dad, I don't understand how he can't spare half a day for something that will be quite important to me and my family.
And it irks me that he prioritises his dad when we actually get very little back from him. I know it's the principle of it, it's his dad and he loves him. But, really, what's the deal with arriving a couple of hours late??? And he has two other sons with families who will be there. And we will be there ALL afternoon. And more to the point, I guarantee that my FIL will be in bed or sat in front of the tv for most of the day.
I don't think my DH will budge and I will be going to my family doo alone with ds and thats the way it is. but I'm grumbling a bit within myself wondering if I'm being unreasonable.
Hurrumpf.