to send DD to a different school to the one she thought she was going to?

[harpyolive]

More of a WWYD.

DD starts school in September and is 4 next week. She didn't get a place at her 7 year old brothers school and instead got a place at a good school with five people from her nursery. DD has sensory processing issues and we think mild autism and it took her a year at nursery to make a friend, whom she is now obsessed with and who is going to the school DD has a place at. She has been to settling in sessions and really likes her teacher.

However, yesterday I spoke to the Head at DS' school and he said some twins that had reception places may be moving home so there may be a space for DD. Now I'm torn as to what to do. Having both children at the same school would be loads more convenient and both are good schools. But DD is set on the idea of the other school with her friend and where she's been to settling in sessions. It'd be hard for her to start at DS' school in September not knowing anyone and never having met the teacher, though obviously she's familiar with the school and playground.

If a space became available, would would you do?

Might depend upon drop off and pick up practicalities tbh.

Send her to her brothers school, settling in sessions are a recent thing , a good school will help her settle regardless.

I'd take the place at your son's school. The logistics will be a nightmare with 2 at 2.

Even with your dd's additional needs, I think she's young enough to be able to adapt. And in fact, I've read before that regular change in the formative years may be beneficial in limiting obsessional behaviours later in children with HFA. So, by not being able to start at the same school as her friend, she's forced to abandon that obsession and get to know other children.

Have the school broken up? As your Ds is already there, could you possibly ask the HT is your DD could meet the Reception teacher briefly? That may really help. And although your DD may have additional needs, she's also a summer born and many summer horns struggle to adapt to school straight away. A good school with have lots of repetitive, structured activities to help children fall into a routine (as much as YR can) All this will benefit your DD.
Good luck

Timings would mean having to pay a childminder for DS.

Yes, they've already broken up unfortunately.

I feel guilty changing plans after she's coped so well with the settling in sessions but I sent DS to his school rather than a more practical one based on nursery friends and he isn't friends with any of them anymore so I'm wary of making the same mistake twice.