AIBU to get so upset my 7yo hates reading?

[starwarsismyreligon]

Help! My 7yo daughter is having a really hard time reading. She has just finished year 3 at school (she just turned 7, very young for year)
I have tried all the ticks, to get her interested. Took her to library to choose own books, bought comics, she is quite tomboyish and loves horrid Henry but really struggles with the early readers, and just wants me to read them to her!
She has no interest and it really stresses me out, it's such a fundamental skill that she seems to be missing. I know in my hear it comes with practice but she won't read for me and I really don't want her to be put off by what she sees forcing her as a punishment!
AIBU to be freaking out that she is falling behind!

Also asking about her school year!

Sadly a lot of modern children's books are pretty dire and uninteresting to children. My DS was the same, he could read, but just didn't want to as he was bored with it all.

We just did our best to find things he would read, such as comics, event programmes, newspaper articles, etc. We got him things like Top Gear, Club Penguin, Football, World record annuals, etc.

He's now 14 and still won't read fiction unless he has to (i.e. if it's school homework). He just isn't interested in "stories". We had a good chat with him about it a few months ago, and he says he wants to read about real things, i.e. facts and figures, etc. We got him Alan Sugar's biography and he lapped it up, read it in a few days, so we're getting him others, so at least he's reading something.

I never read as a child, though I read a lot now. My OH used to spend all pocket money on books, and preferred to read rather than playing out, but I've found out it was more a matter of relieving boredom, i.e. nothing better to do, rather than a real love of books. To be honest, I think that's why I read now. These days, kids have so much else to do, with consoles, Ipads, social media, etc., so you really need to latch on to something that really catches their interest rather than just make them read for the sake of it.

I also feel upset that ds1 doesn't like reading. I love reading although I haven't read lots recently due to lack of time but I've started the summer reading challenge at the library, as have all my children.

Dd loves to read, she's 6, and she reads well. But ds1 does not share that love. He is 8, is a very capable reader but does not get joy from reading. He has ADHD so I don't know if that's anything to do with it.

I let him read whatever he is interested in just to get him to read something. Consequently he reads Match of the Day annuals or magazines overs And over again.

Dyslexia is highly heritable and having a close relative with a diagnosis is classed as a risk factor.

Reading may be extremely hard work for her, if she has visual stress or a phonological processing difficulty it would be hard to find pleasure in something she is finding such a challenge.

You have had her eyesight tested but has she been seen by a behavioural optometrist? The dyslexia association website has a list of recommended practitioners.

Tbh, schools are often not clued in about dyslexia and it can't be diagnosed by the average classroom teacher. I would be seeking a private opinion if I had a child with a dyslexic parent who was not finding reading much fun.

I would continue to read to her as much as possible in order to continue her love of books.

Thanks all- yes the school year is the equivalent to year 2 in England I believe, her first year after nursery being year 1- here in Northern Ireland, primary school is P1 to P7!
Although she is still one of the youngest in her year group, as cut off is the end of June here.
Sorry for confusion.
I have got an appointment with educational phycologist, in October!
I am going to give audio books a go.
Although I think it's the fluency and putting the phonics together that is her difficulty?? And the speed of an audiobook my be counter productive?
I def suspect dyslexia, but may be pre judging!
Thanks for all good advise!

My dd now 10 and I battled over reading. She loves being read to. So I read chapter books a chapter a night. At 7 she liked Malory towers, faraway tree, what Katy did next. Over the last term she has independently picked up books to read and we have today been to the library to sign her up to their summer reading scheme.

DS1 hated reading at school - like your dd he felt it was a huge punishment and trying to get him to read was a big struggle. It wasn't until he was about 7 that he clicked that DH was reading a rugby report in the paper about his favourite team that he realised that if he read, he could read it himself.

Within a couple of weeks, he went from struggling with his reading on the enforced reading scheme (Biff and Chip have a lot to answer for...) to being able to read the rugby reports in the Daily Telegraph, including names of foreign players whose names definitely do not follow the rules of English phonics.

A few years on he's now 11, he still struggles to read stories although has got a bit better with things like David Walliams and Diary of a Wimpy Kid (he's reading just about appropriately for his age but won't willingly pick up much of the 'better' stuff that others his age will read, although he is more than capable of reading it in class), but will devour non-fiction with a vengeance, where he will happily read adult books without a second glance.

One of the other things I did when he and his brother were younger was if they had the TV on then I made sure the subtitles were on. I know they're not always identical to the words being spoken, but younger kids programs aren't too bad and I just hoped that having the words on screen with the words being spoken too would help in having the words always there...

ds2 was a much better reader than ds1 at the same age; he's now 8 and has had the subtitles on the tv from an earlier age than ds1 did as they were already on for ds1. I'm sure it helped him not to be so worried about reading. His teachers also reckon that he reads very well for his age, with lots of good expression and understanding... Which again, I think that having had words along with people talking on the tv with lots of expression has helped him to do the same. We have also read the dc a bedtime story since they were little (ds1 is now at the inbetween stage of wanting it some nights now, other nights wanting to curl up and read the book he's reading himself - that's fine with me, I think both are good things) and do school reading with them and other 'reading going about everyday life' stuff too, I think that having a bit of a scattergun approach can help you to find things that your dd likes and then you can increase those things.

Do you get her to do things like reading the shopping list at the shop or instructions when baking etc - things where the emphasis is more on the doing of stuff and the reading is just a bit part that she hopefully won't notice she's doing as she's concentrating on what to do next...

My DS is dyslexic but even before his diagnosis I did some reading intervention at home called Dancing Bears. Its very easy to do and takes no more than 10mins a day. It made a huge difference to his reading ability. It really focuses on phonics and then blending them together.

Agree and adding to what loads of PPs have said....

Part of learning to read is practice, so encourage your child to do that. During school time, they should be reading a page or two of their school books every day (bloody Biff, Chip and Kipper. Don't we all hate that bloody magic key!) I don't think it's fair to do this in the holidays, but cheat and get them to read anyway (eg, helping you to cook and reading the recipe. Looking in the paper/on line for what TV programmes to watch, etc. It doesn't matter WHAT they read, it matters that the practice).

Don't put pressure on them to read stories.

Then you read amazing stuff to them. Agree with all PPS, but would also add The Hobbit and Artimis Fowl and Lemoney Snickett and Trebazon (sorry, that's spelt wrong). Anne Fine is amazing. Jacquiline Wilson is brilliant. There is SO much good children's lit out there. E.Nesbit, Noel Streatfield. You read a couple of chapters (or whatever) at bedtime. And some point, something is going to get so exciting that they read ahead.

Try not to stress!

DS at seven "couldn't" read. At all. Even one word (or so he'd have you believe).

We knew he could, his teachers knew he could (and he knew as well but he is a stubborn little monster).

Believe it or not Minecraft solved the problem! After pointing out that he could spell "villager" and "spawn" and "creeper" perfectly well whilst still maintaining that he didn't know how "the" was spelled he gave up on that game.

He's 8 now and whilst still not a huge book fan (although he is working through the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe quite well) whilst up and about he reads anything he sees - road signs, restaurant menus etc. etc. If he was awake yet he'd be trying to read this over my shoulder ;)

DD (11) wasn't a big reader either until a couple of years back but she's worked her way through Jacqueline Wilson, Rick O'Riordan and the Divergence trilogy since.

Like other PPs I was an avid reader as a child so stepping back and letting them do it at their own pace was hard.

Now I just have to find out how they both claim to not know a word of Arabic yet still average 90%+ in tests.

My DD is 9 and a bit of a reluctant reader, she much prefers being read to.

Some books that she found easy to read were the Billie B Brown series by Sally Rippin. They have larger writing and only 3 short chapters per book. She would read a chapter per night, or I would read chapter 1 & 3 and she would read the middle one.

She also enjoys the Lulu Bell series by Belinda Murrell, they're fairly girly though.

She LOVES the Judy Moody series by Megan Macdonald (I think), I mostly read those to her, but she really enjoyed them. I call her Judy Moody now whenever she's in a bad mood

We are a big family who all read a lot but youngest Ds wasn't interested at all!

Like many other posters DC,he felt he was being punished if asked to read,we had tears on many occasions.

We kept trying & continued to read to him every night,and once we had found something he liked (Enid Blyton Wishing Chair) I asked that he read a paragraph here and there I between the parts I read to him.

I slowly increased the parts he read until he became a bit more confident & became able to read chapters to me.

He loves any kind of building activity so I also let him use his siblings games console to play Minecraft,it has quite a few complex words for an early reader.
He often asked for help with certain words but had to wait if I was busy so realised that reading might actually be beneficial for him!

His report this year showed he is now quite a bit above average for reading which I never imagined would happen given how we struggled with him in his earlier years.

Keep at it Op,you'll get there,some just take a bit longer.

Lots of good book suggestions. My dd loves many of them. One thing, you have a dd, she may be very focused on this it's a funny age. She may identify with a heroine more than a hero. So Mallory Towers with female leads might have a wired advantage over "better" books.

I meant wierd not wired. I don't mean it's an evolutionary thing or anything..

My DD3 stopped reading after she had goto to the point where she didn't have to do assigned reading at home with me putting my initials on the pages she had read.

She started up again when her class had to do book reports, in 4th grade (US) so at about age 9/10. She chose The Tale of Despereaux as her first proper book and loved it so much she read all the rest of Kate di Camillo's work. After she had a few years of good quality books she turned to non-fiction.

Before then, however, she loved the Nicholas series by Goscinny and Sempe, all the quirky books by Arnold Lobel (probably a little below her ability but amusing), and also loved the author Sharon Creech, especially 'Love that Dog' and 'Hate that Cat'.

She liked the Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman, and Cornelia Funke's Inkheart trilogy.

Also Coraline and a few others by Neil Gaiman.

She refused to read Harry Potter.

She also read her way almost through the Moomin books, and loved Catwings and other books by Ursula leGuin. Also Catkin by Antonia Barber.

DD4 is not dyslexic, but DS otoh I strongly suspect has/had difficulty processing written information. He did ok in school but blossomed in university where he could record lectures using an app, and really appreciated that many of his courses had online components, plus his lab coursework. He absolutely loved a course he took on history of film, which involved watching many classic and some really obscure movies and writing about them.

DS never cracked a book open between Captain Underpants and the Narnia series. He moved on to Lord of the Rings. I suspect the fact that both of these series were made into movies had a lot to do with his interest.

As suggestions for an emerging reader - the Dear America series of diaries, and also the Royal Diaries series, quite historically accurate and reasonably well written. DD4 lapped both of those series up.

You just want her to love stories and the rest will come.

Read to her, play audio books, let her read anything- and then the rest will come.

Of the ladybird early readers, have you seen the new Belinda and the Bears ones? I think there are four. Very funny- three bears have had to move because of a motorway and are adjusting to modern life.

Also, Albie in Space/adventure ones- quite good as a series and will encourage her to read the next one.

The more you make it about the stories themselves, her love for that will grow, and then she will have the motivation to read for herself.

Oh, the Treehouse series by Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton is another great one. It starts at The Thirteen Story Treehouse, then 26, 39, 52, 65 with the 78 Story Treehouse about to come out.
They're set out more like a comic, lots of funny illustrations etc. so DD feels like she's getting further with it, as some pages don't have many words, so it looks like she's read a lot

Hello star wars my son is a late baby, having not turned 7 yet and just finished year 2 (England). His reading was behind and was finding phonemes difficult. After dyslexia testing at 6 and a half (early testing) he 'may be considered to be' dyslexic. Luckily his teacher is right on the money and is right behind him. The book that made the most difference to his improvement is Toe by Toe. It's a staged approach to learning to read and after 6 months his reading has caught up. Incredible. You don't need to have any teaching experience to do it. Have a look at it. The dedication at the beginning brings a lump to my throat every time.

What Humphrey said.

The first thing I would do is find a behavioural optometrist.

When my ds2 had just turned 7 he had been in school a month (European country). It took him until 8+ to really crack fluent reading. He's fine and often to be found with his head in a book. They start them ridiculously young in the UK IMO and it leads to over-heightened expectations. (As do all the parents pushing their dc to read books at very young ages that they can't possibly properly enjoy or understand - the whole 'my 5yo's halfway through the Harry Potter series' thing - but that's by the by here).

Read to her, let her see you love reading and get excited about books give her real-world reading practice, look what's going on when she reads - ds2 could deal with anything using phonic principles but struggled with synthesis for ages. Time and practice have helped loads.

My ds found reading a chore up until about three months ago. He was 8 in February. I had to force it on him every day. He then read Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and Gangsta Granny, used his savings to buy a Kindle and reads, voluntarily, twice a day. He really likes Roald Dahl and David Walliams books. He just needed his imagination capturing.

What is she actually interested in? Try non fiction about something she is interested in whether that is insects, cooking or gardening.

You may have to do some of the things in books with her, so if she is interested in insects/nature have a look in your garden / local park for insects / butterflies etc - then go to the library to find out what she has seen or get the book first.

Some people just do not like reading for pleasure but will read about something they are interested in

jaquiline Wilson the illustrated mum and the lottie project.
dick king smith
thw worst withc
the borrowers.
phantom tollbooth
Narnia
charlottes web

I had one child that appeared to hate reading, but it turned out she just found reading very hard and so avoided it as it was stressful. In the end, I enforced a 10 minute reading period in the afternoon/evening of her reading aloud- and if she started messing about, standing on her head or not reading, the timer started again. It sounds really tough, and perhaps it was, but it kick started her into much better reading ability, and then her love of books took off.

Even then, she has gone at a steady pace, and did not move on from reading 'easy' books with pictures and some text til about aged 9 when she moved to reading easy chapter books. She seemed to need the reassurance, and for a long time would rather read ten picture books than a chapter of a more age appropriate book. I was fine with that as long as she was reading something, and she still reads 'baby books' when she fancies a change. She also loves audio books and sometimes follows the written book as well.

Despite not flying along, she's an excellent reader who tests several years above her age.

Not everyone is a Harry Potter reader aged 6, don't be discouraged.

I would ensure she can read well at a technical level, as it's a life skill, and then leave what she enjoys reading up to her (even if that's nothing).