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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you're a SAHM, how many hours a day are you on your feet?

64 replies

SugarlumpFairyQueen · 20/07/2016 22:41

I only ask as I am a SAHM and I have lots of days where I literally don't sit from the moment I wake up till I go to bed bar the odd time to eat (and that's if I even get to eat properly!)

Like today, I have only sat down at 10pm with a cup of tea and MN and Im just shattered! My legs are aching and I can't even be bothered getting my arse upstairs.

Is it me or are other SAHMs like this too?

It makes me feel like I'm not using my time efficiently or something. You'd think I have a million projects going on or I'm juggling lots of events but I'm not!

I have nothing to show for it! Blush

OP posts:
Fairylea · 21/07/2016 05:38

Wow! I am Shock that some of you hardly sit down, you all seem so busy! I have ds aged 4 who has autism and dyspraxia and a dd aged 13 (who is obviously at school everyday) and I find I have loads of time to sit down / mumsnet / watch a bit of tv etc. I take ds to nursery in the morning and use that time to whizz round and clean etc and still manage to squeeze an hour for a tea and a bit of daytime telly. Then in the afternoon we poddle about at home and he's quite happy amusing himself with toys either with me or on his own (in the same room as me talking to me sometimes) or in the garden. If I want a cup of tea I go and make one! Ds knows if I'm drinking tea I'm having a bit of a break and that's fine. When he was younger and not at nursery I had a playpen and used that time to have odd 5 mins blitzing the house - if he napped I'd use that as well.

There are downsides- I'm the most overweight I've been Blush Far too easy to sit and have a snack with ds, who has a very restricted diet due to his asd so there are only certain things he will eat. When he goes to school full time I'm planning to do a lot of running!

MollyTwo · 21/07/2016 05:46

How old are your dcs? I can't believe you have no time whatsoever to sit down. You really must be using your time inefficiently. What does your daily routine look like?

wavingnow · 21/07/2016 06:43

OP you are most definately not alone. Children differ, routines differ and things change as they get older and have different needs/demands upon your time. My DH says it's easier going out to work and that's because he joins in or takes over sometimes in the evenings/weekends. I've heard this from others who work too. I found there were times when I crawled about just as much as I shuffled about or stood/walked depending on what was going on that day. As for those who take LO to gyms or have sit down hen drinking tea, that's lways been impossible to me. I often wish those nany knows best type programmes started filming again just 1 week after they left the house to show what real life is like.

shrunkenhead · 21/07/2016 06:44

Been around a while, that's it exactly! I think I'm finding it particularly hard now it's the hols as dd is here all day so there isn't even the 6 hr window when the house could (potentially) not be a mess or me constantly thinking about the next meal etc like many I fill those hours with working so not even here to enjoy it! (Even though I'd still class myself as a SAHM really).
I also think if I sit down I may never get up again or nod off (v likely!).

honeylulu · 21/07/2016 07:20

I found when I was SAHM (on ML) I was constantly busy. People just being in the house generate work. Constant meal making (for older child and purees for baby, for adults, packed lunches), constant tidying. Two school runs on foot, a baby group each morning, would clean one room a day during baby's nap. Had clingy babies so was usually holding/feeding them or grabbing moments to hang washing, go to loo etc if I was able to pop them down for a few minutes. I also BF as well as expressed (had to make sure mine would take bottle as gong back to work) and dealing with all the expressing equipment was time consuming and a pain. I did used to watch films on my tablet while BF though it often took several bursts over 3-4 days.
When I went back to work so much stuff got outsourced. Kids are fed at nursery/ at school club. Have a cleaner. The house stays tidy because no one had been there.
I marvel now at how busy I was but it was true. My husband did a few months stint as SAHD and found the same.

Bails2014 · 21/07/2016 07:38

It depends on the mood of the toddler, I'd say I usually have a sit down by about 8.30 though after supper.

Some days he will not suffer house work being done so I have to play, cuddle and read with him so that involves a lot more sitting.

Bails2014 · 21/07/2016 07:40

Also, BC (before children) I assumed I would watch a lot of TV, like when you're ill. That does not happen, I don't think OH believes me that I don't usually think about switching it on until after 5pm.

BearFeet · 21/07/2016 07:42

I work 7-9 getting them to school. Sit down for 30 mins coffee. Get all my jobs done by 12.30/1. Have lunch and sit until 3, school pick up. Then am on my feet from 3-7.30/8 ish bar eating tea until I go up to bed.

SaggyNaggy · 21/07/2016 07:51

I only have one 3yo DD and I sit for as much or as little as I want. Even a "Busy" day leaves enough time to sit and relax for an hour or two.
I actually wonder how people fill the day with so much?
It takes maybe an hour to hover and dust everywhere. Washing is miniutes to load and turn on. Washing up is done every day and takes 20-30 minutes. 2 hours "Work" out of a 16hour day 7.00am -11pm.

FedUpBird · 21/07/2016 07:59

Wow, you all seem to be extremely busy bunnies, you're making me feel quite lazy Shock

It's the first day of summer holidays today and although we've been up since 7, both children are occupying themselves with toys. From a very early age I have taught both of them to be independent and as babies they were not picked up unless they needed feeding/bum changed, now I understand that some kids refuse this and are clingy I think I've been extremely lucky. So I'm sitting with a cup of tea and mnetting, I have a DS 6 and DD 20 months.

Yes my house could probably be a bit tidier but the kids are playing happily and at lunchtime we have tidy up time and again at bedtime...life's too short to be constantly on the go...all day until 10pm? No, thank you

yomellamoHelly · 21/07/2016 08:04

I don't either. Fitbit helps me feel good about it! Had a short term job recently and it was bliss to have that time out. Had so much more energy in the evenings.

FankEweVeryMuch · 21/07/2016 08:07

A lot of the day is spent standing. Most of its I sat down at about 8.30pm last night, that was a good night.

I have a moving baby, and 3 school/ nursery aged kids. Before the holidays there were 6 X walks up and down to school plus whatever jobs needed to be done inbetween, then after school activities, house stuff etc. This is the fittest and busiest I've ever been!

My older 2 are pretty self sufficient, the younger 2 need more for me obviously. Life was/ is never going to be quiet with this amount of kids mind you.

GirlOutNumbered · 21/07/2016 08:09

Being a teacher I am effectively a SAHM for the next three weeks.
I have a long leisurely breakfast, the. I'm non stop till bedtime. Cleaning is an eternal cycle!!

GirlOutNumbered · 21/07/2016 08:10

Six weeks even! And to be honest I'm catching up on all the house stuff I don't do when at work.

Andsenditsoaring · 21/07/2016 08:12

Bloddy hell. Some competitive sahming here!

I'm with the poster upthread who has3 at home and rests in the afternoon when everyone has downtime and also sits down to eat, drink tea etc when appropriate.

I also employ the words "sorry I'm not getting up, mummy is just having a sit for 5mins" - even during a meal. I just don't think the world will revolve around my kids needing ketchup so I don't just get up to get it.

This is baffling really.
Busy doesn't mean fulfilled you know.
Put your feet up people.

FankEweVeryMuch · 21/07/2016 08:17

I sat down a lot more when I had 3 kids at home. It's when they start school and clubs that the fun starts.

Hobbitfeet32 · 21/07/2016 08:23

If you are a SAHM and not finding any time to sit down at all until 10pm you are massively managing your time inefficiently or choosing to live your life like this. Life is too short in my opinion to be a martyr like this. I work 3 days and am home 2 days with a 2 and 4 year old. We tidy up and clean down kitchen before kids bedtime so after they go to bed from 7.30pm the evenings are ours to do whatever we choose. I can get pretty much most of the household chores, shopping etc done on my days off and will put the odd wash on after work etc. My children also know that if I sit down with a cup of tea it's 'quiet time' and they will play or watch some tv for a bit. If you don't look after yourself how can you look after anyone else?

Hobbitfeet32 · 21/07/2016 08:25

And standing up to eat is ridiculous. What a bad habit to teach your children.

lornathewizzard · 21/07/2016 08:30

I have to say it does surprise me how anyone could possibly even find so much to do that you can't even sit down for a cup of tea.
You need to be looking after yourselves too. The world won't end if your livingroom isn't tidy.

amigoingabitcrazy · 21/07/2016 08:57

My rules are that I sit in peace to breastfeed and I sit in peace for meals (only stopping for urgent matters). Other than that im pretty much constantly on my feet from 6-10. DC aren't school age. I feel my mind is at ease when I'm busy though so it suits me perfectly Grin

witsender · 21/07/2016 09:01

Depends on the day. Some days, quite a bit. The kids could get themselves fruit if they were hungry, and play outdoors for hours. Some days, non stop movement. But I tried to limit days like that as the kids got grumpy if we were out too much.

The only time they desperately want my attention is when I need to make a phone call or do paperwork normally.

Mov1ngOn · 21/07/2016 09:01

I sit down a lot. Probably more than I don't. If I'm tired (me/cfs) we will watch a movie/TV together. Sometimes I will sit and give them some things to get (ie if they want to bake I might sit at the big table and they will bring ingredients/bowls/spoons etc to me) and can supervise playing quite happily sat at the table.

Babies can play over you sat on the sofa or sleep on you on the sofa...

Must admit I couldn't only pick them up when needing food or nappies. Mine were constantly picked up!! Bit still independent as I need to sit a lot.

witsender · 21/07/2016 09:02

But we home ed, so no difference between term and hols here.

heron98 · 21/07/2016 09:02

I didn't find that to be the case with me when I was a SAHM briefly,. There seemed to be a lot of sitting about and doing nothing, even though we didn't have a car and I had to walk everywhere.

What are you doing all day?

Andsenditsoaring · 21/07/2016 09:04

Washing towels after every use probably

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