If it's the Special Needs session at the local splash park and you're not a SN family, would you stay or go?

[Waitrosejunkie1]

What would you do?

MrsJoey fencing only seemed relevant because without it it would be a hopeless task to set aside an area for one user group especially when the rest of the time it is a free for all.

With fencing it seems more feasible but really signs won't cut it unless there are she'd loads of them everywhere. People ignore signs - just don't register them or read them but don't process the information (that that is today's date, that the sign is directed at them personally) or misinterpret them.

A warm body from whoever puts on the session is needed to make announcements starting an hour or so in advance, otherwise there will always be people in their bubble not realising they are intruding on a limited access session. Signage alone doesn't work for anything, in any area of life.

It seems just like lip service for the council to say they "put on" sessions for SN families if all it means is they stick a poster/sign up and post something on fb and an ad in the paper. To put on an event or session you don't only advertise it you also do something about running it on the day!

But an area being quiet isn't just for special
Needs also. Neither of mine have additions needs, but both hate crowded places and loud noises. When are they supposed to go then? Not when special need sessions as not special needs, not when busy as hate crowds

The op is quite clear that this session should only be for those who can not attend at any other time. Therefore I think in that instance it would be suitable for your children.

My dd with ASD however can not attend the SN session as she can sometimes go at other times, depending on her mood.

God, I don't know why I ever read these sort of threads on MN, it always makes me so angry and is why I don't go near the SN section on here!!!

I think Pestilence said it best: 25 years of exhaustion and frustration has made me a hard, sarcastic bitch. I will not tolerate my DC (or other peoples DC) being second rate citizens just because they are SN.

MissDuke - if you had any idea the immense frustration of being a parent of a child with SN, you'd understand why the OP is frustrated. Some of the posts from parents of NT children on this thread are diabolical.

I actually have SN myself samcro and care for my brother who is severely disabled. Funny how everyone has different opinions isn't it even though they're in the same boat!

Polter well said. If the op had posted like that, I don't think the thread would have escalated in the way it has!

Pestilence, I'm in my seventeenth year and I never imagined how hard faced I would become :(
This thread highlights really how ignorant people are. They are most probably those entitled types who think 'sn parents' (wtf) or those with disabilities think they are entitled. Entitled to sn sessions at the swimming baths for an hour a week, for example. Entitled to not be gawped at for doing something normal. Entitled not to be pointed at, goaded and have names directed at them. Entitled to their adapted toilets and parking spaces. Entitled to accessibility in the workplace. So fucking entitled.

umbongo completely agree with you. There has been so much bitterness and judging on this thread it is unbelievable. When you don't join in you are accused of having no experience of disability. Happens all the time on here, why did I open the thread?????

We would leave too, we are a family with SNs but the DCs are able to access places like this without any difficulty. I find it hard to believe that anyone who could access the place in regular sessions would be crass enough to stay and spoil the experience for those who can only access it for a couple of hours a month, shame on them.

I agree with the point about signs - I read the signs at our local splash park the first time we visited (they were general information about opening times and safety and so on), but I haven't really looked at them since, because, well, I already know what they say.... plus, they're not at adult eye level, so changes wouldn't jump out at you.

Agree that it would probably help to have someone around making announcements about the SN session being about to start etc.

missduke

It's a really shame really as there are times that I could really use some support but I wouldn't post on here. It seem so I be the SN boards are manned by a certain few posters and if you dare have a different opinion to them you are accused of being disablist and reported.
I have a SN and just as entitled to an opinion about a subject that affects me and my family as everyone else.

Funny how no one goes on other AIBU threads and makes generalising comments about other groups of posters who are angry.

Yet if parents of kids with SN get annoyed it's always "you parents are so bitter" and the usual "SN brigade" nonsense.

It's really goady and divisive.

Completely agree Umbongo I find netmums much better for this to be honest.

And usually by the same posters.

This thread reminds me of the minority (thankfully) of parents at ds's school (a Mainstream primary with a Complex Needs Resource Base) who bitch and moan about the 'perks' my ds and the other children in the CNRB get.......the perk of 1-1 help in the classroom, the perk of being able to sit out pe sometimes, the perk of being allowed an ipad in the classroom, the perk of a day out hosted by a local charity (yes, whinging mothers, that was me behind you listening to you moaning about how unfair it was because your dcs would have liked to go too)......the perk of not being invited to any all class parties, the perk of being teased for wearing nappies.....oh hang on, they don't want those perks, ah well.

These same parents stand and smile their fucking insincere smiles at me outside the mainstream classroom, whilst they bitch to the teacher about help that my son gets.As I say it is a minority, and I guess it is inevitable with inclusion.

Ds is not segregated, his life at home, school, on holiday, going to the shops etc etc - he is part of everything and we find ways of accessing stuff so that he and our other children are all happy (this doesn't always work!), but it is important to him and us that there are spaces and times when we can access things that would other wise be difficult for him. At school he has the resource base that he can go to when mainstream is overwhelming, at home we have a quiet space for him, with his earphones and music, in a restaurant he might have earphones and an ipad (sorry, frowned upon on mumsnet, obviously).

To be able to go to a sn session somewhere, is great not just for ds but for us as a family. Ds is just starting to be aware of other children being cruel (the boys that laughed at him and called him baby in the park, the boys who shouted 'idiot boy' into the face of his friend). His sisters are far more aware, and they fear for their brother, because they see parents and kids staring if ds is struggling, and hear children at their school being cruel to children who are different. It is relaxing and lovely to be amongst other families, who 'get it'.

Oh no I've tried netmums I'd rather blow my brains out

If people have disablist opinions then you will indeed be called disablist and reported. Often the people who shout loudest are those who actually were deleted as HQ agrees their posts are disablist.

People who have experience of SN can be just as bad and also think this makes them immune from having disablist opinions about others. Sadly untrue. Like people of all nationalities can be racist.

I haven't posted anything bitter on this thread and am rarely on the SN boards.

Just sick of the goady bollocks.

If someone with a child with sn starts a thread in aibu they must be pretty pissed off about something because they know it will attract gfs. I don't think it is likely they will be in the mood for educating people.

I don't post on the special needs board, so I can't really comment on that but I think the problem is the aibu board. It sets up an US and THEM mentality on whichever subject

Laughing my arse off Miss Duke! Do you get a better class of disablist tosser on Netmums? Off you pop then!

I could also be forgiven for being bitter when I have been told I'm a vile parent who inflicts my child on others when I try to advocate for inclusion and understanding, but I just feel sorry for someone who would say that. It does get annoying when posters who have said things like that act all hard done by and holier than thou though.

umbongo fair enough I haven't been on in years but it was a real godsend when we were going through the initial stages. I am thankfully now on some very supportive facebook groups that have amazing people who genuinely want to help

HazeyJane I see your point, but my issue with this thread is at a different angle. So it would be equivalent to people judging whether your child should have that support rather than envying it. I don't think anyone here said the provision shouldn't be there, in fact that it should be increased as two hours a month is crap. However many of us have called the op out on judging those that used it and whether they need to. That is what I find so offensive and really get angry about as it happens a lot.

If that makes me disabilist, then I think the definition needs reviewed

Just disagreeing isn't disablist though. Pointing out that you can't tell if someone is an sn family by looking at them isn't disablist. My child may look very nt in some environments, in others it's a different story. I think the best thing you can do is widely publicise that the event is sn. Then I think most people who the session isn't aimed at would vacate.

I e never heard of you before polter so I couldn't say.