If it's the Special Needs session at the local splash park and you're not a SN family, would you stay or go?

[Waitrosejunkie1]

What would you do?

You're ranting about something based on your own assumptions, not fact and I'm the one being obtuse?

I'll leave you to carry on your argument, seems that's all you started this thread for as other posters have given advice on how the sessions could be better managed but you don't seem as interested in that. Enjoy.

Flounce skillz, adreamisawish!

I think 1 in 6 kids have some form of sn. Adding that to mums, dads and other carers with sn I don't think it's beyond the realms of possibility that the place could be heaving on a roasting day in the holidays with sn families.
If there was only a small note on the gate though maybe nt families did stay. I would probably just assume a notice was safety info/children must not be left unattended etc.

I hear you, Bumsex, but I'll say it again. It's unlikely to be gracing with SN families because if it was heaving, many of the SN families wouldn't go!

Heaving, not gracing!

It's a shame it was so busy. Obviously the right thing to do would be to not stay unless you/family member had SN.

Anything like this is very difficult though, as one size doesn't necessarily fit all. I know a group of children who use wheelchairs (wide range of conditions; spina bifida, life changing accident, cp) who are mostly incredibly chatty, play tag etc in their chairs and are happy to chat and play with other children. I also know a little girl who whilst NT is very very shy, hates losing sight of the adult she's with and panics in crowds to the point she just freezes and shakes or cries.

So depending on what the session was designed for, I could see her actually fitting in better despite not being disabled!

I'm sure some would be put off but my ds isn't overly bothered by crowds and I have friends with kids with adhd that wouldn't be put off by a busy environment either - though their behaviour would still make it difficult for them to attend at regular times. It sounds likely that at least some people were there who shouldn't be but it's identifying who and getting them to leave that's the problem.

I think this discussion highlights a lot of what i've learnt about society since having a son with special needs.

There are a section of society who don't even try to think about what other peoples lives might be like. Sadly I can't see that changing anytime soon.

My son was once held down by 6 adult women in a soft play place because I was in the toilet for 2 minutes and he refused to leave the younger childrens area. He was covered in bruises and hand marks. He was terrified so understandably kicking out. I literally was gone for the quickest wee ever & he hadnt hurt anyone though I get that he shouldnt have been in there at 6 years old. These women thought it was ok though, he was 'just' another annoying special needs kid who just needed discipline.

This example is just one of many. I have now learnt we just cant go to non sn sessions.

He is just a little boy who finds life very difficult, but still just a little boy who deserves a happy childhood. Not to be physically assaulted by grown adults for being in the wrong section which I would have got him to leave after I got back from the loo.

I don't see this ever completely changing. Some people are too selfish. This thread just demonstrates this. Though the majority of people aren't that way, it only takes a minority.

Sazza i'd have called the Police!! When is it ever ok to do this to any kid unless someone is in serious danger??

Hazeimcgee I did call the police. No one knew who these women were tgough and I couldn't even discribe them very well because I was in shock I think. All I could think about was getting him away from them and out of there.
I know thats an extreme example, but twice he has been phyically manhandled. The second time I was right there! The verbal abuse I have received as well is just awful.

Its the part of life with a child with sn that I have found the most shocking and hardest to cope with. My son is just as deserving of a happy life as any other child, if it takes a park etc to have sn sessions once a month or so to do that then other parents should respect that. His life is already a lot harder, he copes with day to day life far better than I would, especially with his sensory issues.

If its sn only nt shouldn't be there but its hard to police a public park.

Is it okay to use a park that is designed for sn children and adults but is inclusive and allows everyone to use it. My town has one of these and it has large pieces of equipment for sn children and adults. However it says all welcome and is a lovely secure Park.

In our leisure centre we have a soft play / sensory room. This was built using money put aside for people who have disabilities. The sessions which are meant to.be for us are barely attended these days, these equate to around 4 hours a week and were attended by all ages. The eldest being guy in his 30s who was mentally still a toddler. We got fed up of being glared at through the door as people waited for our session to end then letting their kids fly in as we were still helping our young people with shoes etc. On one memorable occasion a lady lied that her grand daughter had a.disability because she didnt want to.disappoint her. This was a session which included older teens who.are very unpredictable, putting it bluntly her dd could have been very badly hurt.

A local huge softplay started to run one session once a month, it was fab and well attended by all ages. Us carers could relax a little in an understanding environment. Eventually it was pulled. The staff were getting so much abuse off parents because little cleopatra or whoever had seen the place was open and wanted to go in.

yesterday was really hot. I wanted to go for a swim with ds, we were on yet another walk, I could almost feel the.cold water as I dived in. Sadly half the town will have the same idea, so we'll have to.wait our turn. 9 am on a.Sunday, twice a month.we get to go swimming.

We wanted a drink whilst on our walk, we looked into Mcds as it's cheap in there. It was rammed. Ds put his hands over his ears just looking in the door. So we had our drink in a more expensive cafe further down.

Earlier this week there was a facebook woman hunt, looking for the perverts hanging around the kids play park. It turned out to be a lady and her carer. The lady is mentally still a child. And wants to.still use the swings and zipwire. She can do this of course so.long as she goes when it's empty.

Once a month.our cinema runs an Autism friendly session, fab idea and it shows the latest films. Sadly it's been taken over by toddlers and their parents who saw it as a chance for their kids to.run amok plus the fact it showed the latest films at a reduced cost. Barely anyone who.goes now has a.disability.

Wait. Your. Turn.

Wait for.everyone else to have their go.first because their more important than you is a message that is.drummed into people who fit outside of the norm. It isnt blatent. But it's there.

So of course you should leave a sn session that isnt meant for you, I don't give a fuck if youve dragged your kids halfway across the.country. And no, it isnt ok to just stay, Im not interested in your kids or educating anyone. Fuck that, it's the parents job to ensure their kids arent ignorant little arseholes. Not ours.

It won't fucking kill them to realise that SOMETIMES they can't come first and SOMETIMES they have to.wait their turn and put other people.before them. No matter how inconvenienced you and they are.

Because that's how many people who.have disabilities are living each day. If they can live with.it than other children can for a few scant hours out of their lifetime.

Bravo!!!

SatansLittleHelper2
👏👏

Oh and for the poster banging on about the poor deprived children who don't have gardens, here's a list of things my son will never do.

Get married.

Go to uni.

Have a well paid job. Or any tbh.

Drive a car.

Go out with his mates because he feels like it. Oh no, that needs planning and a full risk asessment first.

Jump off the sofa and take himself off for a walk.

Take the bus alone.

Buy an unsuitable motorbike

Sex ?? Could he have sex ?? Well he's probably capabel but that will need to be risk assessed and monitored etc and so on with a whole team of people. Yep, if my son is lucky enough to meet someone and they want to have sex half the world will need to know about it. Yaaaayyyy, lucky them.

Have children.

Take himself for a walk to the 24 hour garage at 3am because he REALLY wants some ring donuts.

The list goes on and on.

Believe it or not when you have a child who can barely scratch his balls in peace you don't have a great deal of headspace about other people being put out for a few hours. Fuck off, I honestly don't care.

And to top it all we don't have a damn garden either. Do we get a badge ??

I don't know where to start with this. I have 5 dc with different needs. DS3 isn't bothered whether an event is aimed at SN families or not, he will happily do anything. DS1 loves to be with other children who have SN as he feels less alone. DS2 has had verbal abuse from strangers so many times because of his disability. It's nice to take him somewhere free from judgement.

waitrose I find you rude and sarcastic, your frustrations are not the fault of other people on mumsnet who in the main have just pointed out that perspectives on a situation differ. You say that its obvious that it should be the case that people leave, but you've yet to clarify a few important points.

• how obvious is the signage?
• how clear is the signage? I.e. Does it specify that its for SN families ONLY

-is there a barrier around the splash park?

These all make a difference. You seem utterly determined that all these NT families are just there selfishly and deliberately stopping you going in. I bet that is far from the case in reality.
You badger another poster about their life which is rude, none of your business and irrelevant anyway.

Well said Satanslittlehelper2.

Surely if the sign says it is a session for people with special needs and their families, then it must be for them exclusively, otherwise the implication is that people with special needs cannot use the park at other times.

Signage is all.

If a session is advertised as SN friendly then the assumption would be that all are welcome but especially those with SNs. And that those with NT DCs need to be aware that many DCs will have SNs and to police their DCs accordingly.

If it is for the exclusive use of DCs with SNs then the sign should make that clear. And there should be someone official there to make that clear.

But then I suppose someone would complain about the NT siblings of those with SN accessing the session.

Why can't people just be more understanding of how difficult day to day normality for us is a constant challenge to families with DCs who have SNs?

As someone who had a deprived childhood I think using deprived children to try to have a dig at people with disabilities is bloody awful.

For everyone saying they would stay , would you stay if it was booked out for a birthday party ? Or a school ? Or is out only SN kids that should enjoy and in some cases be glad of your company ?