Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS invite 2 boys and 1 girl to his sleepover?

38 replies

user1468937236 · 19/07/2016 15:17

DS is 11 on Saturday. He wants a sleepover that night. His best friends are 2 boys and 1 girl, he isn't close enough to another girl, to invite aswell... Do you think this would be okay? They would be sleeping in the living room, with sleeping bags, etc.

OP posts:
Hellothereitsme · 19/07/2016 16:14

Regarding scouts and cubs - boys and girls do not sleep in the same room. They are separated by sex.

durezz · 19/07/2016 16:16

Hmm mixed replies on here.

I would say no too. 11 year olds these days are not like how we were at 11, they know much more and hormones have developed earlier in most cases. Too risky IMO

That said, you know the parents and the girl in question..

georgiatraher · 19/07/2016 16:22

I feel the same as myownprivateidaho
At around this age I was friends with a boy in my class, I was invited to a sleepover at his house. I knew the family and had been before on my own.

As soon as it started to get to sleeping time though I started to rethink and uncomfortable (I don't remember why) but I wanted to go home. Luckily my dad came to get me.

imwithspud · 19/07/2016 16:22

For me it would depend entirely on the other 10/11 year olds and whether I knew their parents or could at least have a chat with them about sleeping arrangements, supervision etc.

On the whole though I don't think there's anything wrong with mixed sleep overs between 10 year old primary school children.

JackieAndHyde4eva · 19/07/2016 16:44

Regarding scouts and cubs - boys and girls do not sleep in the same room. They are separated by sex.

Not always. My son's camps are often in their own scout hall with everyone in the one hall.

SaucyJack · 19/07/2016 17:03

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with it as such. I have a year 6 DD. I really don't think they all jump on each other the second the teacher pops out to the stationery cupboard.

I guess it depends on whether she's a good enough friend of your son and the other two boys to be entirely comfortable sharing a sleeping space with them. My DD would hate it, but she's at the "All boys are stinky and stupid" stage anyway so no chance of her being inviting to a boy's birthday.

You could let the girl's parents know that she's welcome to come for just the afternoon/eve anyway if she isn't comfortable to sleep over?

Hellothereitsme · 19/07/2016 17:15

At my scouts they can all be in the same hall but either the girls sleep in a pop up tent or they are on the other side of the hall. They do not sleep physically next to the boys no way!!

Discobabe · 19/07/2016 17:29

Yanbu, I don't see an issue with it. Ultimately the girls parents can decide but there's absolutely no issue with an invite, I think it's lovely they have a good friendship at this age. You can always state if children do not wish to sleep over they can be collected at x time.

LadyDeadpool · 19/07/2016 18:16

I let my DD sleep over at her male best friends for his 13th birthday party she slept over with another female friend of his and I didn't doubt my decision for one minute even when it was possibly just going to be him and her. They're best friends I've seen them around each other and I don't think it would ever cross their mind to see each other as a possible partner. My daughter is also a bit slow to mature and not at all at the stage of fancying boys.

Let him offer if you trust him and let her parents make up their mind based on if they trust their daughter and feel she will be safe.

Original poster
user1468937236 · 19/07/2016 19:07

My honest opinion is that it's fine, but then I thought I would ask. Thank you!

OP posts:
FlibbertigibbetArmadillo · 19/07/2016 19:19

At this age my best mate was a boy and we had sleep overs all the time. Just the two of us and in bigger groups. I'd be horrified if I stopped being invited because I was a girl.
I'm guessing all the parents know all the kids if they are such good friends.

As a pp said
Of course it's fine. They are just boys not monsters.

milliemolliemou · 19/07/2016 19:24

Have a room for the girl to move to if she starts feeling uncomfortable? eg son's room? Doesn't help if that's the only room she can go to and there's another friend who's tired and wants to go to sleep.

I always tried to have spare spaces for kids who didn't want to watch the horror movie/got tired sooner than the others. And a superintended curfew while I was still able to keep awake (though that wouldn't have stopped them doing anything after I went to sleep). And parents on speed dial who are prepared to come over at 3am for a child with a nightmare or whatever..

Sleep overs are the devil's own work. Unless you live in the Outback of wherever, there's no reason to have them, surely. Kids tend to be ultra tired afterwards especially if it's during term. It goes along with a lot of US imports including prom nights etc etc - all putting parents to extra effort, cost and anxiety and not often benefiting the kids. What's wrong with day/evening celebration and going home? I stopped allowing sleep overs after seeing exhausted children at another child's house where clearly all the children were tired, one had been bullied and they'd clearly watched something highly unsuitable.

peachpudding · 19/07/2016 19:27

If they are all good friends they invite and let her parents decide. As long as everyone is ok with it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread