to think they should stop their kids staring over the fence!

[ichoosesleep]

We live in a semi detached house with a couple next door who have 3 children , a 15yr old boy and two younger children who are 5 and 6 , they play well with our two who are around the same age. We've always got on and have a drink in the garden now and again and let the Kids play. The problem is on the occasion that when they aren't playing together say if my kids are at exH house, at their grandparents or even if they just don't want to play out sometimes (they do seem to get very clingy with my two and I can genuinely see they just want to play on their own now and then) the two kids just literally stand up at their fence and just stare! They will climb up on the raised area on there side , stand there and just do not seem to move or take a hint that it makes us uncomfortable. Now I know they are just kids but it does get to a point where I would expect mum and dad to tell them to get down and stop being nosy but they don't they just sit there sometimes on their phones and know full well that me and DH are say having a sit down in our garden with a drink or lunch and it just feels like I'm on show and being watched all the time. Sometimes when we decide to have a family BBQ with other family members and even they comment about how strange it feels and how odd it is that they aren't been told to get down. I like to do my yoga or sunbathe but just don't feel I can anymore. And the questions!! What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Is your kids playing out ? Why aren't they playing out ? When do they get back? And even though I tell them they are away for a few days they will still ask if they are coming home that day ! At first it was cute and I'm fully aware of their age and inquisitiveness but it has gone beyond that now. I just really can't get my head around why they are letting them stand out there all day and i am not exaggerating when I say all day! They have toys and a paddling pool. A tree house which I would live in!! We have tried ignoring them or shaping disinterest with short answers and I've even pretended to be asleep or putting my headphones in they just get louder! I mentioned to their mum the other day that "oh i was sunbathing the other day with my headphones in and your little one was talking to me I didnt realise for a while as I couldn't hear them I hope your didn't think I was being ignorant" or even "oh our little dd was stood at your fence looking over yesterday while you was having breakfast I didn't realise she was out there for ages I'm sorry I know how sometimes we just need our privacy don't we il make sure it doesn't happen again the little tinker"

Arrrrrgh sorry for the long rant I'm just sat in the house with my coffee because I know they are out there

It's the summer holidays and it's going to be everyday !!!

Get a big long roll of reed fencing like this

It's really easy to put up, you just nail it along your fence panels and you can buy it as tall as you like so they can't look over anymore. It's cheap and it looks a lot nice than fence panels.

OP I have exactly the same issue! I get on really well with next door and we often have a natter if we're both outside at the same time or if we are leaving from the front at same time etc

The kids were constantly just jumping over the fence when they felt like it (Our house has one 6ft panel as you step out then waist high) so last year I put up 6ft bamboo along the shorter fence but it didn't solve the problem
As her kids, 11,6,5 now just actually sit in the top of the one 6ft panel directly next to my patio door (which is slowing getting broken as the oldest especially is a big boy for his age and actually weighs more than me) they constantly shouting my kids and watching as they eat dinner,often just climb over and start to play!

I had to get rid of dd 22 months sandpit and they just keep moving sand all around the garden filling things up, filled up her new okay house with it meaning it was just be walked into the house constantly, they just help there self to anything from the shed and just generally make a mess!

Now I honestly don't mind them coming to play sometimes but firstly I wish they would walk over and use the gate instead of climbing over and I like my peace and sometimes I just want to enjoy the garden with my kids, and the same if we have friends over, if one of the kids have a school friend over they don't want them just hanging over the fence or inviting themselves into play

I love the summer but dread coming home from school on. Days like this!

It's so hard when you get on with your neighbors as you don't now how to say it, I'm usually very straightforward but as we get on I don't want to upset her

Hosepipe.

Ooops we were just watering the flowers......

Trellis or reed fencing. That way you won't have to be constantly asking them to go away - they're 5 and 6 - they won't get the hint easily, and you can relax in your garden. I get on really well with all my neighbours (our garden is actually bordered by 4 other gardens) but I wouldn't dream of having a fence lower than 6 foot around the whole thing as, like you, I don't want the obligation to chat when I'm in my own garden.

Oh DatingBarb that would drive me absolutely mad! You are being far too nice!

say "come on guys, stop staring now, go and do something else"

Peter I KNOW!!! I just commented on a parking thread and honestly the lady they were talking about would get no joy out of me.... But because I get on with my neighbors and I am happy for the kids to come and play sometimes finest mean I want them sitting on top of my fence 24/7 it just hard because you don't want to create bad feeling!

Sadly I don't even think one of them falling off and cracking there head on the patio or something would help as the kids to run rings around there parents

I just know when the fence finally breaks it's going to be down to me to replace as they will not be able to afford it

Petyr I mean

I'd just say to the mum "do you mind making sure your kids aren't peering over in to my garden because I'm evening out my tan lines of you know what I mean" then laugh and walk away :)

this is it I'm just too nice and daren't say boo to a ghost half the time scared of causing offence. I like the idea of the reed fencing to put on top. Me and DH go to garden centres and find ourselves just walking around pointing things out that would look nice in that area. Reed fences, trellis , thornyrosebushes, barbed wire that kind of thing instead of actually enjoying the trip there like normal people. Hosepipe wouldn't work they'd love it

Why on earth would you think that asking the kids not to stare over the fence would cause 'offence'. Honestly, if I were your neighbours I would be far more offended that you would think me so delicate and unreasonable that you couldn't even ask me or my kids a perfectly reasonable request.

I think the world would be so much simpler if people were a little more straightforward about things. As long as you are sensitive and polite being honest is so much simpler.

Same problem at our house. Can't go in the garden to put washing out without kids next door shouting to see if we're playing or what we're doing or coming to peer through the fence gaps whether DS and DD there or not. It got to the point they were shouting up if I so much as opened the upstairs windows..... .... Parents never asked them to stop either.....

I've no issue them playing together its just sometimes we want to have family games/meals outside etc without an audience!!

Firm and direct would probably be a good approach....

thing is, with kids that age you'd be spending all day telling them not to stare, they are too young to be embarrassed and shuffle off, they would be back there within the hour, staring away

Datingbarb you should attach bamboo to the six foot fence, but make sure the top is an inch or so above the panel so the wee fuckers darlings can't sit on it, or get some of the spikes for keeping cats out of your garden and nail them securely to the top. Secure enough that they can't pull them off.

Tell them AND put trellis up.

Very very annoying

You are babysitting from a distance :) just tell the child's parents you like the kids playing together but could they ask them not to stare over the fence because it is getting annoying invading your privacy - polite, honest to the point. They might not even be fully aware there doing it.

Hosepipe will not work in this weather - quite like someone to hosepipe me at the moment maybe I should stare over my neighbours fence :)

She isn't babysitting anyone, don't be so silly.

add trellis, easily done, df has done this several times for customers as he has his own property maintenance company and does a lot of fencing

Start dancing around the garden- naked? That'll learn 'em!

Can't dh sort it if yiu don't want to say something ?

My neighbours kids are like this. It's a massive pita. They don't even have the excuse that they are friendly with my DC (as my DC are in their teens!). There are 4 of them, all under 7, and they're in the garden from 7.30am. They're still out there now. They have a massive trampoline which is right next to my fence so constantly are looking over and if I'm out there talking to me. Which at least means they're not screaming at each other which they do most of the rest of the time.

I did have a tree blocking out most sight of them but the parents had it cut it down (the bits overhanging their side).

Oh and the kids chuck all their crappy toys in my garden. I haven't been out there for about 2 months because i can't fucking bear them all lining up by the fence to look at me. It's weird. I want to hire a hot tub but unless I build an 8ft fence I'll just have them peering at me constantly.

Sorry,rant over!

Velvet why haven't you politely asked them to stop or asked the parents if they'd mind getting them to stop. You should go in your garden! Or take other advice from this thread and add plants/trellis etc.

YANBU. sorry, i get being inquisitive, but the thought of two kids constantly peering over the wall like Chad makes my shit itch for some reason.

good advice here, talk to the parents, say it makes you feel weird when you're sunbathing in the buff