For having a family day instead

[Justmeagain78]

We went to the school bbq last year and didn't have a great time - it was really cliquey so we sat on our own and nothing for the kids to really do so we said we would give it a miss this year.

We went and had a lovely family day out instead this year. But now I feel guilty. I work at the school now and I've helped run events in the past and my stomach is churning reading all the Facebook posts thanking all those who came and helped out. I feel a bit sick about going into school today, I didn't tell them I wasn't going and I'm dreading if they ask why and think I've snubbed them. I wish I'd bloody gone now.

Dh says forget it - we had a great day together but I worry my colleagues will hate me for not helping or even going.

Say you didn't feel up to it. Because you didn't .

You had to prebook so I can't claim I didn't feel like it on the day!

I doubt they're even thinking about it

Just say you already had plans. I wouldn't worry. People always put those posts on Facebook. I bet half of them hated it.

Its not a big deal, you're overthinking it. Just say you had a family event.

God, we don't go to all the school events. We left the summer fair after 10 minutes this year and went out for tea as a family.

We had a far better time.

I bet no one even questions why you weren't there, but if they do you can say you had other plans (not that it's anyone's business).

Depends on the school , some schools feel staff should be there regardless to support the school others see it as optional.

If you work at the school you were well placed to suggest it was made more inclusive/more child centred though. Was there really nothing for the school's children or are yours younger so there was just nothing for Yours? I can't imagine a school event that was primarily non child friendly.

If you had agreed to help out and then just no showed then your colleagues have every right to be annoyed with you though. You should have let them know even if it was just a text on the day .

Gosh if anyone asks I'd just say "I spend enough time here to be honest"

Trafagargal **

Trafagargal - I haven't commented on the lack of things for the children to do because I wouldn't want to cause offence and I'm not sure if it's just my opinion. I didn't offer to help because they make comments about how they do it best and like to be left to get in with it so I haven't had the nerve to offer.

Yanbu. It sounds like something I would hate going to as well. Nobody will be even thinking about it, honestly. Don't feel bad at all. Social events like this are meant to be enjoyable. If they aren't, then I wouldn't go either.