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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can take a three week old baby to a wedding?

57 replies

wombthereitis · 17/07/2016 22:06

DC2 is due in September and my best friend is getting married the middle of October. I've already said that sadly I won't be able to be involved much in the wedding (hen night, being a bridesmaid, etc) due to being heavily pregnant but that I'd love to be at the wedding (we've been friends since childhood, so I'd be pretty gutted to miss it!) She'd love for me to be there too and we've agreed that my DH will take the baby into another room for the actual ceremony so she doesn't have to worry about a newborn kicking off halfway through her vows (DH is fine with this and the actual ceremony will only be about 20 minutes). I'm hoping to stay for the reception or if not, the ceremony and the meal at least, and I'm going to take my stretchy wrap for keeping the baby with me. All going well, I'm planning on breastfeeding, so leaving the baby at home isn't really an option.

However, I'm worried in case I'm being a bit unrealistic about how easy it'll be to be out and about for a large chunk of the day at a wedding with a newborn? Or do you think if I'm prepared enough it'll be ok? Baby will be three weeks old at this point (I'm having an ELCS so that's fairly set) but DH will be with me all day to help out. I feel like I've forgotten what it's like to have a newborn! Confused

OP posts:
Ed1tY0urPr0f1le · 17/07/2016 22:43

Definitely worth a try, especially with your second baby - when I had DS2 I found him an absolute doddle to care for - the only difficult thing was managing the needs of a toddler at the same time as a newborn!

It sounds like the bride is laid back about it and will understand if you need to slope off early.

Like other posters I'd take a newborn to a wedding over a toddler any day! My main concern would be people wanting cuddles when I was still in the overprotective tiger mum stage - but you seem to have that one covered with the stretchy wrap!

Pinkerbeller · 17/07/2016 22:54

Go! But take spare top clothing x 3 for you. My ex-SILs wedding pics are legendary for the spot-Pinks-leaking-boob opportunities Blush

crayfish · 17/07/2016 22:59

I took a 5 week old to a wedding last year and it was fine. I felt a bit lot fat and unattractive though but I did pile on the beef while I was pregnant. Baby was fine and slept through most of it. Go!

thatstoast · 17/07/2016 23:06

I did it with DS when he was about 2 weeks. We went back to the hotel room after the speeches and all fell asleep so missed the hog roast Sad. There's a lot of variables though so we made it clear to the couple that we might not be able to come.

NapQueen · 17/07/2016 23:09

Dc1 I couldn't have or certainly would have been totally stressed out.

Dc2 I could have happily attended the afternoon of the day he delivered.

Massively different experiences and I felt so much more relaxed and healthy the second time round.

Fingers crossed it all goes nice and easy for you and you get to attend.

Original poster
wombthereitis · 17/07/2016 23:12

I've got two maternity/breastfeeding dresses at the ready Pinkerbeller and about 100 muslins 👍🏻

I mean if I miss most of it, it's not the end of the world but I'd be really sad if I didn't get to see her get married. When me and DH got married we only had two guests, of which she was one, so it means a lot to me to see her get married too.

OP posts:
Biscuitbrixit · 17/07/2016 23:13

Just stick her in a sling and no one will know she's even there!

KatoPotato · 18/07/2016 13:49

Stretchy wrap!

987flowers · 18/07/2016 13:53

I took dd1 to a wedding when she was 10 days old. No problem at all, as she was my first I did go into a room to feed her as I wasn't that proficient at feeding at that stage, if it had been my 2nd I wouldn't have bothered with that!

Lots of people wanted cuddles so there was a lot of help there!

natty1982 · 18/07/2016 13:56

I took my first son to a wedding at 3 weeks old. We had our sling and he slept through the whole day and most of the evening. Just got him out for feeds and nappy changes. Far easier than with a toddler. I had a normal birth though. Not sure how easy it will be after a caesrean.

GrouchyKiwi · 18/07/2016 14:01

Depending on how you feel after your CS I agree that a wedding with a 3-week-old baby is perfectly doable.

DD2 was 3 weeks at my SIL's wedding and it was just fine. There were plenty of hands to hold her when I needed to do other things, and DH and I even got to dance together.

The breastfeeding dress was excellent - I had to feed DD during the family photos and you can't tell at all.

The only difficult bit was driving home afterwards (took over an hour) with a tired, hungry baby. Had to stop at the side of the road to feed her.

Hope you have a great time!

itsmine · 18/07/2016 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SestraClone · 18/07/2016 14:05

I took mine to an all day wedding when she was 5 days old. Apart from needing somewhere quiet to BF, it was fine.

PridePrejudiceZombies · 18/07/2016 14:19

Maybe. It might be doable, it might not. Do bear in mind also that there's a possibility you may end up with an EMCS if you go into labour earlier than your scheduled section date. That would potentially give you more time to recover, unless it's the evening before I suppose, but it's also likely to be a harder recovery.

Highlandfling80 · 18/07/2016 14:20

I took our 2 year old and a 4 week old to a wedding evening reception and it was fine. The 2 year old had a ball. I seem to recall spending much of it breastfeeding in a private room though. I wasn't confident feeding in public at that stage.

Jenijena · 18/07/2016 14:25

I couldn't have done it first time round, but took ds2 to a funeral + wake at three weeks old and it was easy. When he didn't sleep, he fed. Didn't have csection though.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 18/07/2016 14:45

I agree the c section is a massive consideration - I over did it 3 weeks after my 3rd c section, thinking I felt fine and not wanting my older two to have negative associations with acquiring a new sibling I tried to do lots with the kids and ended up bleeding more heavily than I had done even the day after the c section. Bled right through a maturity pad and my clothes within an hour and a half whilst away from the house thinking the bleeding had slowed right down to a light period equivalent. .. and the bleeding then took several days to lighten up again, plus my scar became more painful again. I didn't have to go back into hospital - but that is something that happened to a friend about 3 weeks post section due to an infection.

Most 3 week old babies will be fine but you never know what you'll get as others say and a collicy baby may scream unconsolably all evening.

People understand if you leave because your baby is screaming though - it's far more embarrasing to leave because you've bled through your dress and your scar is hurting...

It could be easy as pie or it could be nightmarish - that's the problem. It really makes no difference if other people climbed everest 20 minutes after delivering the placenta nor if they still weren't able to get dressed or face leaving the house when the baby was 6 weeks old - and whether it's baby number 1 or 2 or 12 doesn't tell you whether they'll be a screamy one nor how your physical recovery will go.

As your friend is understanding and it means a lot to you it is worth going, but be prepared with pads and changed of clothes and listen to your body and be ready to retreat to bed if you are suffering.

Notso · 18/07/2016 14:47

I took DC4 to my friend's wedding when he was a couple of weeks old.
Only to the ceremony though. I knew they were on a tight budget and didn't want them to pay for any meals that might be wasted (all six of us were invited). The wedding was on the 23rd, he was due on the 31st but he arrived on the 17th.
It was hard getting ready, we had only been out of hospital for a couple of days as he was in SCBU then children's ward for refusing to feed, there is no way I could have stayed for the meal.
I was glad to be there for the wedding though and I know it meant a lot to my friend.

Merimum · 18/07/2016 14:51

Definitely possible, just depends on section recovery and baby. I took almost 3wk old DD to a wedding and it was fine. She slept most of the time and she had loads of people wanting to nurse her while I ate/chatted. She was a cluster feeder so I popped up to someones room after dinner and fed her for an hour or so and had some expressed milk also. It was totally fine and I welcomed the chance to do something different. Have 2 weddings this time when baby will possibly only a week old, bit I think thats pushing it a bit!!

FabFiveFreddie · 18/07/2016 14:54

I reckon it will be about you rather than the baby - baby will likely sleep through the whole thing. 3 weeks after both my EMCS and my ELCS I still had massive water retention and was drugged up on painkillers. I looked and felt like an elephant.

Then again, I missed my best friend's wedding as I was too pregnant and lived abroad. It's a massive regret. So I think I'd risk going in my drugged up elephant condition just to see her be married.

Congrats and good luck!

spacefrog35 · 18/07/2016 14:54

I did a family wedding with DD at 5 days. We didn't do the ceremony but did the meal and the first couple of hours of the reception. It was tiring but fine. I did have to consciously sit in my hands as she was passed from pillar to post for cuddles. She was fine (otherwise I would have interveened) but that was hard for me.

Doilooklikeatourist · 18/07/2016 14:55

We had a guest with a week old baby at our wedding , go for it 😀

Welshwabbit · 18/07/2016 15:01

Not the same as your circumstances, as I didn't have a c-section, but I was a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding when my second child was 3 weeks old. It was in Scotland (we're in London) - went up on the train with my husband (son no. 1 was left with grandparents) and we had a great time. Apart from feeding him, I hardly saw my son because there were so many volunteers to look after him! Not much sleep afterwards, but that's another story. I'm really glad I went. It sounds as though your friend is happy to let you play it by ear, which is great. I hope you are able to go and have a lovely time.

TheABC · 18/07/2016 15:10

It's definitely doable assuming you have a straightforward recovery and a relaxed baby. However, be kind to yourself and have somewhere to rest/have a plan in place to leave early if you need to. Good luck!

ProudAS · 18/07/2016 17:43

Someone brought a five week old to my wedding - they didn't stay late but it was fine