Terrified about DH's forthcoming hospital appointment

[Sunnyfeet]

Can someone talk some sense into me?

I know I'm being totally irrational.

DH recently told me that he's suffered with piles for nearly 15 years. He's not keen on seeing the doctor, but I persuaded him to go. The doctor did an examination, and confirmed that it was piles, and referred him to an appropriate surgeon for a 'banding procedure.' The surgeon also examined him thoroughly, agreed it was piles, booked him in to have them banded , and added that as part of the process they always examine the lower bowel with a camera just to rule out any other issues. I know two other people who've had banding plus the camera, and according to google this does sound very much routine. Also, the NICE guidelines state that anyone over 50 (and DH is over 50), with DH's problem, should have this screening check as a precaution.

So the appointment has come through, and the date of the hospital visit is 2 days before we're due to fly off on holiday. DH rang the hospital, and asked if it was ok to have his procedure so close to his hols. The surgeon said he couldn't do the banding if he was about to fly (something to do with this risk of blood clots?) but it's still ok to have the camera examination, so DH should come in as planned for that, and they'd rebook him for the banding. Fair enough, sounds sensible, and we'd already been told the banding may take more than one appointment due to the size of the piles.

DH is fine about all this, obviously he's not looking forward to it, but it does need sorting out, and the two people we know who've been through it said it wasn't too painful.

But I've gone into complete tailspin. This camera exam is terrifying me. Neither the doctor nor the surgeon have mentioned cancer, none of his appointments have been urgent referrals, but I'm absolutely terrified they may find something sinister. DH feels that as he's had these symptoms for 15 years, if they were going to kill him they they would have done by now.

I was really excited about our forthcoming holiday, but now all I can think about is this camera appointment 2 days before departure. I gather they tel you if the examination is ok or not, when they've finished doing it, so at least you know either way. DH is completely calm and cheerful, I can't eat or sleep, and I know I'm being completely irrational.

I should add that my wonderful mum thought she had cystitis a few years ago, it persisted so she had tests which revealed renal cancer, and her passing left such a hole in our lives. Watching dad struggling without her was heart breaking.

Now I've typed all this out, I feel a bit better. But I'd still like to hear if other people understand my terror? I suppose it's like DH being really scared about me having a smear test - they don't do it because they think you've got cancer, they do it to check that you haven't.

Well done on getting your husband to go to the doctor.

I think.your stress relates to your dear Mum's diagnosis. Understandably you now feel that a test can more than likely bring bad news. This is not always the case and I feel your distress and pain at the loss of your dear Mum is causing your to catastrophise about your husband's situation. If the gp and consultant feel it's piles, then it likely is. This is an additional test that they do as routine, while they have him there. I fully understand your terror. I had a breast lump that neededed checking. The gp was sure it was nothing but it needed investigation. A friend of mine had been diagnosed with breast cancer a month before and I could not stop catastrophising. In the end the lump was benign. Be good to yourself.

Thank you for understanding, passportmess. I'm so pleased your lump was benign.

I know why you're worried but your DH is right. 15 years later and he's still fine. Dont worry

It is a routine thing to do and your DH is right - his symptoms have been the same for 15 years.

However this has stirred up all the memories of your mum and how a routine test turned into something else - however if you think really hard back I suspect your mum didn't have her symptoms that she thought were cystitis exactly the same for 15 years so the situation isn't really the same. She might also have had other symptoms that came on more quickly that she either didn't tell you about or she didn't realise how important they were which is why her diagnosis was such a shock.

Can you try to hang on to this while waiting for the appointment?

Thank you so much everyone. You're right Wolpertinger - with mum everything happened really quickly, two bouts of cystitis symptoms, followed by an urgent referral; she was diagnosed within a month of first feeling ill.

My dh had the banding thing and it did nothing to help his piles hope yours has better luck

That's unfortunate - has he had any other treatment since? Our surgeon said there were four different ways of tackling the problem?