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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To worry I'm going to be stuck in a dead end minimum wage job forever

174 replies

jemenfiche · 16/07/2016 20:39

Retraining is definitely not an option.

I have a degree but for a myriad of reasons can't really use it for anything purposeful.

Am in a minimum wage job. I never used to mind but recently things have changed at the company I work for and now it's just awful and I've been in tears most days this week Sad

I really need inspiration for something else I can do before I go crazy Sad

OP posts:
jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 16:13

Most people have been lovely and ok grateful for it but I was a bit upset by the persistent insistence of one poster. I meant it - I do have a touch of pmt - but nonetheless I was really upset last night and this morning by those posts.

OP posts:
Atenco · 17/07/2016 16:33

Sorry, I haven't worked in that sector for many years now, but the salaries are not necessarily very good. Though a native English speaker with a degree in English and a Masters would probably be able to get a very good position. There is a huge demand

Justaskingnottelling · 17/07/2016 17:21

Op I'm not quite sure why your GP didn't think cbt would help you. It's not going to change your situation but it might change how you think and feel about it.

It's not your fault that you feel the way you do; the chances are that it's previous circumstances that have made you feel stuck and that any effort you make seems hopeless and doomed to failure.

Obviously I can't know whether you're depressed but you certainly seem sad about the way things have turned out and the things you don't have in your life, and it's perfectly reasonable to feel that way. It may help you to share some of those feelings and get some support, through counselling or Cbt.

Being in a miserable situation at work saps your confidence and self esteem. Not having much down time or control on your working hours/conditions is even worse. Please try and get some support so that you can find a way forward. If you've managed to get a degree in the past, you have the inner resources to get to where you want to be; but it seems like your confidence is shot and until you are able to resolve that, you are fighting an uphill battle, working against yourself.

Things can definitely improve for you OP. Flowers

angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 17:28

Kudos to the OP for posting. There is so much to be learnt from this thread.

(1) English literature degrees are generally useless, aka don't study something at university just because you enjoy it, but because it will help you get into a decently paid job afterwards. Maybe if you're at Oxbridge or Edinburgh or a couple of other universities you can use your English lit degree. However, even somewhere like York or Southampton (i.e. Russell group not ex-poly) an English lit degree will not get you very far. The same applies to mod languages degrees generally. If get emails everyday at work from people offering translation / interpretation services. 20 years ago I worked in that area but there's not the same work now - continentals working in a professional environment speak/write English pretty well and google translate is "good enough" for a lot of stuff. Yes, if your family are very wealthy then you can study what you like, but the smart families know that an English lit degree, especially when done by someone without a firm grasp of English grammar, is nigh on useless careerwise and steer their children (usually their daughters) accordingly.

(2) If you want to be successful in your career move to a big / rich city. I know so many people who did their degree and moved back to Huddersfield / Wrexham / Middlesborough. Yes, it's cheap compared to London but you will never find the job opportunities there. Once you have being doing minimum wage work for a year or two (shop assistant, care assistant, etc.) most employers will write you off. Just being in somewhere where people have higher incomes means that you can benefit from trickle down cash. Migrants are clued in to this - they go to London where they can get work cleaning, nannying, temping, etc. Yes, you maybe have to houseshare, even roomshare, in some shithole for a few years, but you get valuable experience and contacts and, if you are good, you can move up.

(3) If you want to be successful in your career build a network of ambitious / rich / well-connected people. People want to believe that this isn't true, but it really really is. Getting this network (for themselves or their children) is a reason that people sent their children to independent schools, although very good state schools will attract the same types. It's also a reason why someone from a state school should, all things being equal, go to the university with a higher % of entrants from independent schools. If your social network consists of people from your hometown in non-graduate jobs then you're not going to get much out of it.

(4) Formal education is largely useless unless specialist (medicine, professional legal training, engineering, etc.) or combined with good soft skills. Soft skills really matter. People employ you to make money - if you can bring in business and get it done efficiently then you will always be able to get a job, whether that is in an estate agency, a restaurant or PR company.

(5) Mid-paid jobs are vanishing, especially for women. By mid-paid I mean jobs that pay roughly £18k to £30k, although exact parameters vary depending on where in Britain it is, e.g. job in Wrexham paying £30k is pretty good; job in central London paying £30k not so good. There is a lot of confusion around statistics on annual incomes but someone full time on national living wage gets £15k before tax or £13,350 after tax. Computers have eliminated huge numbers of secretarial jobs and even PA jobs are going now also and salaries have also been pushed down. To be brutal about it, the equal pay for equal work stuff has damaged women's employability. The claims that cleaners were doing the same work as binmen were ridiculous and the effect over the long term was to drag down wages for both men and women or eliminate the jobs completely. I love how those who say how great the film/musical Made in Dagenham is for illustrating women's struggle for equal pay ignore the fact that Ford now make feck all cars in Dagenham and that, as regards other UK car manufacturers, the work done by the women who were at Dagenham is now done abroad.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 17:30

In fairness angry I taught for years and got to a fairly senior position but you know - things change :) I'm now 35 so I did have a fairly successful run for 13 years.

OP posts:
angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 17:33

Thanks for replying OP. If you had a fairly successful run for 13 years where did all your savings go?

angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 17:34

Just asking because I want to understand how these things happen. I can see the issue with doing something after teaching. I am in a profession myself and after a certain point (which I past a few years ago) there is very little scope to do anything else without going back to square one.

scaredofthecity · 17/07/2016 17:36

You say you want to do a health based course and can't afford it. You can! You've just got to want to do it enough. Yes you will be very poor but it's for such a short time and then you reap the benefits once you've qualified.

I retrained 4 years ago and I have not one single regret. I love my job and I earn good money compared to what I was on before. Plus there's always overtime if I need it.

The years I was training were pretty grim but it's all a distant memory now. I lived in a cheap shared house, I sold my car and walked everywhere I could, and lived on yellow sticker food. But now I have a happy and comfortable life. And a job for life. Do it you won't regret it.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 17:37

Goodness me, I am having to explain my medical history and also my finances? Shock

I didn't, actually, manage to save enough to live on for the rest of my life :)

OP posts:
angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 17:37

Also, my parents were both teachers and it is not great for social networks or employability, particularly not in the state sector because it's not a business. Having said that, my father got a franchise for a secretarial training company (Pitman) and ran that in evenings for about 15 years in order to make more money. I know another teacher (not physical ed) who may money doing sports coaching.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 17:38

No, scared, with respect I didn't say that - other posters did. Really, I am fine. I had pmt yesterday and was very, very tired.

OP posts:
angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 17:42

I don't understand how someone who is wiithout dependents, worked as a teacher for 13 years and reached a relatively senior position doesn't have a reasonable amount of savings. Particularly, when she comes across as pretty clued in and sensible, i.e. didn't blow it on ASOS orders and weekends away, and particularly because she would have graduated pre-tuition fees and wouldn't be repaying student fees/graduate tax. Nobody is suggesting that the OP should have saved enough to live on for the rest of her life, but maybe enough to do a masters for a year or two.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 17:44

Angry, do you know what, I'm not going into my entire life history here, if you don't mind. I didn't, actually, graduate pre tuition fees, although they weren't very much. As it happens, I did have savings and used them on a house deposit which seemed an eminently sensible thing to do at the time. Anyway ... you don't need to keep driving the facts home to me!

OP posts:
jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 17:44

And I've DONE a masters!

OP posts:
Atenco · 17/07/2016 17:44

Hope you are feeling better today, OP.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 17:45

Yeah, fine thanks.

OP posts:
angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 17:51

Okay, you own a house (with a mortgage). That's why you can't / don't want to move. Your current work is minimum wage but is enough to service the mortgage and keep you above water. You live in a not great area outside London/SE England so house price appreciation in past 8 years is little or nothing. This is making a lot more sense now.

If I knew you in real life the first thing I would ask in response to your OP is what you wanted re children b/c at 35 if you wanted children that's probably the biggest driver of what you should do.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 18:09

I know that angry but to be honest you are really digging a bit, a lot has happened, and I am not comfortable with talking about it. Having children is obviously pretty unlikely now but it still hurts when people mention it as if it's something to be celebrated. Anyway, please can we end this now :)

OP posts:
angryeumigrant · 17/07/2016 18:15

OP: Nobody's asking you to talk about anything, but to be honest, if you want decent advice on an (anonymous) website you need to be willing to be upfront about where you are and where you want to be. I'm done with posting on this thread.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 18:26

I know, I did say a few pages back that it was OK and I didn't need further advice, so no need to get huffy. :)

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throwingpebbles · 17/07/2016 18:32

op I don't understand why you are being got at so much. I can understand how easy it is for life to change trajectory. An abusive partner and a consequent stress induced illness saw me have to give up my career. It's no reflection on you that life has taken this turn. But now you do have choices and power over the future direction and how hard you go about creating one. Not saying there won't be all kinds of obstacles, but you have the skills somewhere to take control of your life again and I think just chew over all the suggestions and hopefully you will find a way through

throwingpebbles · 17/07/2016 18:34

Ps. Don't write off the kids as something that might happen, if you want it then make sure you are creating opportunities to meet new people.

My friend was given the advice "never say no to an invitation" and I think it is good advice, the more different people you are meeting, the more chance you will meet someone, and in the meantime it's an adventure

bluehouse · 17/07/2016 18:36

I gave up reading half way through the thread so apologise if things moved on, but I wanted to chip in.

I'm just finishing an MSc, which I did over 2 years (all taught modules year 1, dissertation year 2), whilst working 12.5 hour shifts as a support worker to fund myself. You can get a full time salary over three days like that, I had to be in uni two days, then two days left for studying. It hurt, but it was worth it and my income has just jumped and will keep jumping. I did it as a single mum to two young kids, commuting an hour to my paid job and 1.5hrs to uni each way. Quite a few people on my course we're doing exactly the same thing although I was the only one with kids. I was blessed to have a helpful grandmother to do childcare, or I wouldn't have been able to do it.

There are also a lot of jobs you can do without a specific qualification. You might want to look into if you could become an ABA tutor? Pay isn't too shabby, you've already got the teaching skills, I trained on the job when I did it. I contemplated joining the police for a while, you could check their website?

If you decide what area you are interested in working in (in ten years time I'd ideally like to be.....?) then get creative, you'd be surprised what you can achieve.

jemenfiche · 17/07/2016 18:43

Neither do i throwing :) guess it's just mumsnet sometimes. I've got a couple of ideas. Babies - well, I've never been much good at meeting men, so that's a separate issue to jobs really. Problem is, as a single person there's a perception that I should be travelling away at a minutes notice with designer sunglasses, not sweating away for minimum wage. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't have anything I feel particularly proud of or accomplished by. But anyway - I'll be ok so please no one feel they must chip in with advice there!

OP posts:
throwingpebbles · 17/07/2016 18:45

You sound like you have lots to be proud of actually, sometimes it's just hard to see it Flowers