to ask if some of you will never LTB?

[Cleanhousedirtyhouse]

Always namechange when I mention dh.

There are a lot of posters on mn who advise ltb, and who could really argue with the logic when we're talking about dv, risks to dc etc.

But I also see a lot of threads turn into massive LTB fests when discussing indequate (perhaps not the right word, maybe I mean dickhead) DHs.

Eg comment; "DH only does 10% of the housework, takes mil's side in everything and is always moody."
Response: "LTB"

Whilst I don't doubt that there are MNers that really would get rid, and have much higher standards than me, are more assertive than me and really just better at being grown women than I am (I admire them), aibu to ask if there are any wives out there that have no intention of ltb and why?

I won't list all of my dh's shortcomings (I did once and 2 different responses said "if this is even real.") but he is real and I"m sure there are lots of men like him, his friends are like him and they're also married.

I'm not desperate, I do have other options, but he was a lot kinder before marriage and dc and now I'm in too deep with the dc, in laws, inter-twined families, finances and lives, and I'm not brave enough to deal with the fall out from divorce and do actually love him so I dont ltb.

Anyone similar?

Thank you, and I hope I haven't derailed the thread. Any wise advice will be happily and hopefully taken. My first flowers:) clean i declutter and de horde professionally so if your user name means you require assistance consider me on call for life. Thank you talking.

*for talking

Also clean, what are the things in your partnership that don't work for you? They are probably legitimate. Would you share some details?

May I assure you that I am very good at dealing with relationships, it was my job for a long time (I just sick at my own)

Woah heavy thread and one I wouldn't usually get involved in. OP it's not clear what your current situation is but what I would say is don't let mumsnet skew your perception of your own reality. I bloody love mumsnet and am not here to slate anyone. However I do find myself reading endless threads where women are facing every day problems (which every relationship has) with their DP's and are met with many many LTB responses. Please remember that most of this advice comes from people with little insight into the whole situation. Don't get me wrong there are some very cut and dry threads where my advice would also be LTB but I do think mumsnet seems to encourage this response very very quickly with limited info. Bottom line is that we all have our own levels of tolerance and whilst mumsnet is a great sounding board you are the only person who is living the RL situation and only you can make the decision. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic but unless you are experiencing emotional or physical harm, it's worth working on it for the DC's sake. However, I also left a marriage where I was experiencing neither of those, I just wasn't happy ( no DC's involved). The only person responsible for your happiness is you. Hope you are ok though and find your way through whatever dilemma you are facing

Hey and just to say (it's not my thread) and it must be a very different situation when there are children involved, but children deserve happy, heathy Home life's, and unhappy parents must be recognised by the children in the families. And we grow into what we are shown...

And. baby what you say is so correct. Wish I could be as strong as you

roundles it's not about strength, it's about moments of clarity. Weigh it up, if you spend more time unhappy than happy then you need to think about a different path. You are still young and without the commitment of children or property/assets. I left my husband and my home because I knew there was more to life than what we had or what he was offering for our future. I have no doubt I hurt him, badly, and it destroyed me to give up on what we had. I was incredibly protective of him but one day realised that despite my best efforts neither of us were happy and there was no more I could do to change that, but if I left at least there was a chance we could both re-evaluate our lives and find happiness. Sticking in the rut we were in was never going to change anything. I still feel guilt, regret, sadness, whatever you want to call it but bottom line is I am happy now and I have it on good authority that he is too. I'm not suggesting you end it I just want you to know that only your own experience and set of circumstances can tell you if you need to think about it. Losing someone you love or have loved is devastating, regardless of how it happens, a loss is a loss. But, as with any loss, you (and he) will heal and move on.