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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report her

40 replies

tallulahturtle · 16/07/2016 08:26

Have an acquaintance who I heard a recently had been done for numerous counts of shop lifting. It was more rumors at first but now its in the papers.
I have heard that they are subject to a curfew order. I always thought that they were from 6pm-6am. Yet the person has been repeatedly seen miles from home well after 6pm.

Am i being unreasonable to shop them, also how does one fo about it? Just feel that these things need to be taken seriously otherwise it could be a slippery slope to more offences.

OP posts:

Original poster

tallulahturtle · 16/07/2016 16:44

Blimey, was just asking.

Maybe by some peoples standards I am holier than thou in that ive never shoplifted, unless it is the norm these days? I just believe that people should obey the courts punishments.

Well since you ask, I am not a gossiper but I was asked by a girl who is closer to her and she says she (the offender) told her that it was 6pm-6am. We were both just talking, not idol gossip before you lot start and the other girl thinks she isnt taking her punishment seriously and is worried that is she is still shop lifting and dealing in stolen goods and that before long she will end up in prison, maybe even stealing from us if she gets desperate enough. (We don't live or work together but we share common ground)
So we had basically thought, would it be a good idea to report her and that might give her a bit of a jolt and make her buck her ideas up.

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 16/07/2016 16:47

Why does it bother you so much OP?

Original poster

tallulahturtle · 16/07/2016 17:22

Well because we share space and im pretty sure she is meeting people in this place to sell stuff. I have had enough of dodgy people in this place, I don't want random dodgy strangers too. I don't want this escalating.

OP posts:

Okay377 · 16/07/2016 17:31

'I heard', 'I have heard', 'I always thought', 'I'm pretty sure'.

Stick to the facts OP, you can't go to the police because you think someone may have broken a curfew you heard about via a third party.

Original poster

tallulahturtle · 16/07/2016 22:46

Fine, i will speak to the girl herself and tell her to behave herself.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 16/07/2016 22:50

She's an acquaintance, not a friend?

She'll probably tell you where to go.

Original poster

tallulahturtle · 17/07/2016 07:51

I call her an acquaintance as I don't consider us friends if she has kept this from me and is telling lies to cover it all up.

OP posts:

Original poster

tallulahturtle · 17/07/2016 07:54

Does worry me a bit that everyone on here seems to be defending a persistant shoplifter.

What if she was one of your children and you knew she was ignoring a curfew?
Im off now but just putting that out there.

OP posts:

insancerre · 17/07/2016 08:29

I'm not defending anyone
If she is still shoplifting then sooner or later she will get caught again and have to face the consequences
But its all speculation and conjecture on your part

If it was one of my children then I would also let them suffer the consequences of their actions. Sometimes you just can't talk to people, however hard you try
I'm assuming there is more to your friends problems than just being a serial shoplifter? Drugs, poverty, mental health issues?
Maybe you could focus your energy on being supportive so that she doesn't need to shoplift
Or do you not have that sort of relationship? If so, then its really none of your business

ilovesooty · 17/07/2016 09:05

You don't know anything. That's the whole point.

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 17/07/2016 09:12

I don't think anyone here is defending a persistent shoplifter You don't even know that she's a persistent shoplifter. In fact you seem to actually know very little. Leave it be. If she is still breaking the law it will catch up with her eventually. It sounds to me as though she needs help - not conjecture and uninformed reporting to satisfy some need within you.

ReginaBlitz · 17/07/2016 09:14

And this affects you how? It's pretty minor she isn't a murderer beak out!

hotdiggedy · 17/07/2016 14:50

If she is in her early 20s and is in this position then I assume she hasn't had the best start in life. Speak to her if you must (though that could well cause you your own set of problems) but wouldn't reporting her just get her into even more trouble?

Oh, and the story has now gone from a girl possibly not obeying the time keeping aspect of her curfew to her dealing in stolen goods on your 'shared space' (whatever that means).

Birdsgottafly · 17/07/2016 15:02

That's really unusual timing for a shoplifting curfew. Most that I know of are specific to the crime, such as 10-4, on a Sunday in certain shopping centres. 11-4pm, midweek etc. There will be the stollen goods aspect and other issues if it 6pm-6am.

So warning her will do very little. Think carefully if there's going to be any comeback. Do you were her Probation Officer works out of? You could leave a message, without giving your name and let him have a chat about it.

Sadly, it won't be long before she's serving a custodial sentence.

Okay377 · 17/07/2016 15:45

No one is 'defending a persistent shoplifter'.

Posters have suggested you know little about her conviction and sentence and even less about her activities now. Therefore you are not really in a position to 'report her'.

As pp have said, if she is a friend - could you try to help and support? If she isn't, then it isn't really any of your business.

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