To think having children is selfish?

[NeoShadowChaser]

I have 2. I never thought about not having children. Now I have them I think it's been for purely selfish reasons. To make MY life better.

Yes, I want to bring them up to become worthwhile contributors to society. I know we need to procreate to keep the human race alive. But, individually, ultimately, it's quite selfish.

In light of the Nice attacks yesterday I could cry at the world I've brought them into and all because I wanted my life to be richer with them in it.

Ah but, Batteries and Topiary, Nature is selfish. It has its motives and you have yours, it makes you do things you know/feel are not right. Life itself is selfish.

Also agree with NeoShadowChaser that I am not sure eveybody would rather be born. I know I don't. This is what makes me feel extremely guilty sometimes about having been selfish enough (or enough of a pushover faced with Nature/Life) to have DD. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who are deeply affected by the state of the world on a basic level.

I had children to give some sort of purpose to my life, and so far I think I've done a good job. My children are happy never any trouble and I've been told by others that they are nice people. The world has always been a scary shithole and it can make you scared to do stuff but I always remember my friend who got up for work and fell down hers stairs and died tragedy can happen anywhere

Speak for yourself, op. You may have had children for selfish reasons, I didn't.

What about rape victims or very young mums or those that have unwanted and unplanned pregnancies that don't want to abort because they feel it is wrong? Are they selfish?

That was my point sticky. The only way to not be selfish is to be dead. If you're not willing to stop eating it's all naval gazing really.

I refuse to see any of my choices as being selfish in light of what those murdering bastards have perpetrated.

I am very privileged, certainly, to have been able to have two beautiful human beings, and it is frightening to have brought them into a sometimes less than beautiful world. But we work very hard to fill their days with twinkle twinkle little star, daisy chains, stories and potatoes in the shape of smiley faces, to teach them to be kind, to value learning, how to love others, and make good decisions, as do the vast majority of other families.

I only wish everyone had the same opportunities and freedoms, but I don't feel selfish in enjoying them and making the most of them. It feels like an obligation, in fact. The true selfishness comes in the taking of life, not in the creating and nurturing of it.

D'you know? I'm not convinced being selfish is such a bad thing. It just is.
As long as you are not harming others, there is nothing wrong in concentrating on yourself. I guess by 'selfish' I really mean 'self-centered' (which I understand to be less selfish than selfish).

Oh my, we are firmly into metaphysical territory now .

I had dd when I was 18 due to a contreceptive failure, she is now 17 and a very smart cookie. Now if I had made a different choice when I was 18 would my life be better, I don't know but I can't change things now. I have a good relationship with dd and I realise she will eventually leave home and make an independent life.
She nor I are given to hysteria so we live our lives the best we can. No good hunkering down wondering about the what ifs, what sort of life is that.
I'm very saddened by what happened last night and my thoughts are with those poor people, but Im going out dd has gone to school and life goes on.
Yes it's a shitty world we live in and I've been chatting to my Gran who's 93 this morning she's survived WW11 and her mantra is Don't let the bastards grind you down. Shes right.

Aww, Twinkle Twinkle is my favourite

Selfish act? No.

It's natural to have children - although with the West having declining birth rates we are really going to go extinct ourselves, so if you care about Western society I'd say it's selfish not to have children. Not putting down those who can't obviously, animals under stress naturally reduce breeding.

We've went from about 35% of the world's population in the 30's to around 6-7% now. Women of birthing age are only about 2% of the world population so we are looking at grim times ahead if we allow those who terrorize to force us into self/government induced genocide/suicide.

It really all depends on if you think the Western world can be a force for good and positive change or if you think we should give up and quickly die out which in my opinion would make for a much darker world.