To be upset over neighbour shouting at me over cat :(

[user1468485204]

Don't know if I'm being over sensitive
Lived here 2 years and have a make cat of 3
He loves being outside and doesn't like being in even at night however the lady who lives ( alone, mid 50s ) but one to us kept bringing him home at 8pm as she's a cat lover and hers had been killed at night by a car
All fine, she was slightly over bearing and he would go into her house every time I went out for treats and food and to be petted
She would take pictures of him and show them to me of an evening
No harm done until the next door neighbour knocked a few months ago, angry that he would go into her kitchen if the door was open at eat her cats food, through the window at the front too and that her cats hated him and there was lots of hissing going on.
I apologised and gave her my permission to squirt him with water in hope that would stop it
Seems not as now he's gone into her garden, had a fight with her cat and she's throwing a £200 cat bill at me.
I burst into tears ( my mums just been diagnosed with cancer ) and she just stood there stony faced saying she's never had any cats behaving like this before and doesn't understand why
I did explain that he might be confused as very welcome in the house next door and obviously he has to pass her garden to there
She said she was not happy about any of it as she did the same to her cats for 5 years and now is to ours so hers noses are out of joint but her issue is our cat going into her garden / house
He just won't stop and get the message
Feeling very overwhelmed and upset

My cats have been at the vets multiple times this year after being attacked by neighbour's cats.
I've never gone round asking them to pay! Cats fight!
I try to keep them in at night now.
Your othet neighbour sounds unhinged and like she is going to steal your cat.

IceRoadDucker and legally cat owners have a responsibility to take reasonable steps that their pets do not cause injury or damage. So no - cats don't have a right to go into other people's homes and damage things with no obligation to the owner

Anecdotally I have claimed for a vets bill from a neighbour who's cat seriously injured my dog when it came into my home and I won through small claims court. Unfortunately for her she was not awarded costs for the cat who died of its injuries. It was horrible and intake every precaution for the dog I own who I know will injure cats (cat proofing as far as I can, always checking the garden, not leaving the back door open, impeccable drop and chase recall) but I refuse to spend the summer with my windows shut.

I also have allergy induced asthma and I am extremely allergic to cats - any reason why I should have an extremely dangerous allergen introduced into my house?

Morally if you want to allow a cat to roam and not be responsible for what it does then really it's a bit rich to then complain if a neighbour is feeding it. Cruelty not withstanding, if you don't want to pay if your cat damages something or someone's pet then I don't think you can complain if someone is doing something with your pet you don't like. And I'll repeat cruelty not withstanding.

And before I get accused of cat hating - I am genuinely extremely sad that I will never own a cat again and I think they should be allowed to roam as in most cases it produces the best welfare outcomes. I just don't think if you introduce an animal into the area that you an abdicate responsibility for what it does and I thought that when I owned a cat that roamed.

Holy crap that was an essay! It's a sensitive subject as have only recently been diagnosed as having asthma and have been blue lighted after having been exposed to the in-laws cats.

Anecdotally I have claimed for a vets bill from a neighbour who's cat seriously injured my dog when it came into my home and I won through small claims court. Unfortunately for her she was not awarded costs for the cat who died of its injuries.

^That is nothing to be proud about. Why didn't you have pet insurance?! Some bodies (well loved possibly) pet died and you are on here bragging that you got money out of them. Sick.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum OP - tell your neighbours to got stick it, and get hat cat microchipped!!

I'm not bragging and I'm not proud of it - I was using it as an anecdotal explanation that cat owners cannot send their pets out to roam and abdicate all responsibility in the eyes of the law. It was the excess that i claimed for and I only did that after my neighbour tried to force me to pay the bill for her cat - despite it wandering into my home, numerous conversations about my dog and as much cat proofing as I could do at my own expense.

Shockingly my main regret over it is that an animal was harmed - not that my neighbour was sad.

Did you read the rest of my post or did your knee jerk so hard it obscured your vision?

Thankyou for the further replies
Very tearful and I am very grateful to you all for taking the time to reply
My cat is a 4 year old male, he is chipped and neutered and we have pet insurance.
We also have a 13 year old partially blind cat who is an indoor cat and has never wanted to venture far so this has all come at a bit of a shock to me
I agree she's almost trying to steal him and she keeps trying to give me " zilkine " for him - spelling might ne wrong but it's " weed for cats " as she described it, makes them very docile.
This has been really worrying me that she's doing it without my consent which is why he's so happy to sit in her house all day as he has never been like that with us, very much in and out.
She suggested I shop taking my child out so much and focused on the cat for a while though so I can't decide what her game is but then went on to say how much her parents love him and would have him tomorrow?!
It's not I've been " fine " with someone else feeding him but I have kids and a job and if he leaves when I leave at 8am I can't dictate what goes on all day as I'm not there.

I did keep him in for a few weeks over Xmas when her interfering was getting me down as he knew once she caught him he was in for the night and he purposely stayed out only for her to hunt him down at 2am and ring our doorbell like she was the police waking the kids up in the process
I hate neighbour disputes, it makes me very uncomfortable to live like that as we are in very close proximity to them.
If I was renting I would move ;(

OP - Zylkene is a supplement made from milk extract and given to both dogs and cats for anxiety issues. It won't harm him but she shouldn't be giving it to him.

She sounds massively overly invested in your cat and your life and you need to ask her to take a step back. She shouldn't be ringing your doorbell at 2am!la and telling you to ignore your kids for your cats?! Bonkers.

I'm not sure what you can do practically though. You could look into cat proofing your garden and that way your cat could have outside time but neither of your neighbours would have anything to complain about anymore!

How did your cat react when you kept him in before?

Are you sure catnapper NDN isn't fuelling angry NDN's issues? Did angry one see cat fight or could have catnapper "identified" your cat for her?

I have never had a cat come in my house although everyone says it is normal - but it seems as though this is working out well for catnapper. The angrier and worked NDN gets, the more she is there whispering in your ear. She sounds sneaky and unbalanced - cat should go to her parents? Giving him medication? Suggesting you spend less time with your children?

Angry NDN should have insurance and continue to discourage your cat. However I think catnapper is the bigger problem. I would ask her to stop feeding or interacting with your cat totally. He will end up as her cat very soon otherwise 😡

fisher I can't believe you put someone whose cat had been killed by your dog through the small claims court just for the excess on your insurance . I agree it was not your fault and you shouldn't have had to pay them anything, but I think that's a bit harsh.

OP I'm sorry you're having this problem, you're not responsible for paying for treatment as the result of a cat fight, it might be frustrating for your NDN but unfortunately that is how it goes with cats. I hope you sort out your other neighbour - if you do have any concerns over him going 'missing', flag it with the microchip company so that if he is subsequently taken to a vets and they check the chip it will be noted that he is lost as opposed to rehomed.

Also, does your cat have any injuries? Was it definitely your cat?

There is an unneutered male around here, my cats shoot in through the catflap whenever he arrives in the garden. Maybe her cat attached yours?

We aren't allowed to modify the buildings here, no cat flaps allowed an no fence modification which includes and sort of cat sheltering
It's new build so we aren't allowed things like sky dishes and so on.
He went crazy when we tried to keep him in, tried to escape every time we opened either the front or back door and attempted to her our of an upstairs window
He wouldn't use the litter tray so and did wees in the bath but not one poo in 13 days
He was also very aggressive towards us and didn't want to be petted at all and would swipe us if we attempted it

Magster - there is a lot more to the story then I have posted here or I want to go into but suffice to say I didn't do it until my neighbour had pushed me extremely far including - taking me to small claims court, multiple malicious reports to the RSPCA, bad mouthing me across multiple social media platforms (I'm a small business owner), multiple malicious reports to the council and poison pen harassment. Small claims court for the excess was part of a legal strategy to get my neighbour to back off and leave us alone.

Anyway like I said - I shared the story to illustrate that cat owners do have standing under the law and it can be enforced if you have proof and are prepared to do something about it. So OP's neighbour potentially could have recourse to have her pay the bill - I doubt it but it is a risk.

Op this situation is insane and you already have enough on your plate.

If the woman knocks on again tell her fuck off. Seriously, how dare she criticise your cat ownership and parenting cheeky bitch she's obviously got too much time in her hands.

If next door but one knocks on just tell her no more treats, no more letting your cat in her house and to stop harassing you.
If next door knocks on tell them to fuck off too. No way has your cat caused a £500 injury to their cat their chancers.
If they knock on just say 'they're cats what do you expect'

Leave the cats to sort it out themselves what are the neighbour going to do really? The police aren't going to come out for a cat fight, you're lucky to get the RSPCA out for anything unless they have a camera crew to give them publicity, cats don't fall under dog wardens so there's nothing they can do.

You really don't need to be this nice to people being horrible to you.
If you piss them off they'll leave you in peace by the sounds of it.

That really restricts what you can do then OP. If he is unhappy to be kept in and you can't cat proof your garden then you are a bit stuck. You could build a cat run but that is a big commitment and may not suit him anyway.

Have a chat to over bearing neighbour and ask her to back off - make up a chronic illness perhaps that he needs special food for but it could backfire if she takes as evidence you aren't paying enough attention to him. For angry neighbour try and have a calm conversation about the vet bill - ask if she saw your cat, does she have insurance and if you can afford it maybe offer a token sum towards the bill. It maybe if she feels like she has been heard and had an apology it might help calm her down a bit.

It's a crap situation to be in with a neighbour (as you can see I know!) and I'm sorry about your mum too.

Is your cat neutered OP?

Our neighbours had an un-neutered tom cat and it was a pain in the arse. Climbing in the windows, breaking in the cat flap, eating the cats food, pishing in the house, making our cat's life a misery.

neighbours wouldn't take a telling to get it neutered. It thankfully disappeared. I wouldn't be having to keep my windows shut all the time because someone wouldn't deal with their cat. I can understand why ndn is angry.

there are many other cats in the street and all manage to live in harmony.

Sorry about your mum, hope all goes well.

Sorry OP, I missed the post saying he was neutered

Yes he is neutered
I can only imagine he's doing it because he has no boundaries with neighbour but one but maybe he's just being a little shit but I'm baffled as to what I can do