To think in 2016 being sexually assualted on a train shouldn't feel normal

[catgirl1976]

And at nearly 40 years old I should be able to deal with it bettr

I got a very packed train from London to Reading tonight. It was heaving.

I was walking down the cramped aisle trying to find a seat and felt someone brush my arse. Turned round and there was a youngish man behind me who apologised. So I put it down to the train being so crowded

Then he did it again. Then he stroked my arm.

I turned round and looked at him and he said "Do you need help> (I had a heavy bag) I'd love to help a beautiful woman like you"

I said "I'm fine thanks"

Then I ended up standing in the bit between carriages.

He was by this point a bit further up and I was pinning myself to the luggage rack so he couldn't see me.

The train thinned out a bit and he came and stood near me and said "Long journey home?"

I said "Look I'm married and you are making me really uncomfortable" (Why didn't I just say fuck off you pervert?)

He said "You look good though and you've got a nice arse"

I didn't say anything (Why? Why did I just look at the floor? I'm feisty in my normal life but this wrong footed totally)

Then he walked off to my relief.

The train pulled into Reading and suddenly he was behind me again. He stroked my arm again. I got off and he did too.

There were two transport police on the station and I went and stood near them till he had gone. Then I phoned my husband and got a taxi instead of a train to my final destination.

Im so pissed off because I feel like in this day and age you shouldn't have to be groped on a train and also because I didn't slap him or make a fuss or even tell the transport police. Why? I guess I just wanted to get to where I was going without having to get involved in making a statement or something. But I was scared and pissed off and now I'm angry with him and with myself

I am SO fucked off that some men still think if a woman is trapped in a confined space its fucking fine to grope her. And I am SO fucked off I didn't do more.

AIBU that there should be some sort of standard way to deal with this that women are taught as like a national defence or reaction or something? Or am I just a nob who needs to stand up for herself more?

They couldn't have been nicer.

I'm going to get some sleep now (with the phone next to my head for when the control room call)

Thanks everyone for getting me to report it. I'm glad I did X

I find the problem is I'm never sure if someone is touching me on purpose.... and even after a few times, I'm never sure if they're meaning to brush against me or not. And I would feel silly saying something for them to deny it.

I think it's one of those fight or flight situations OP. Normally, I too am feisty and assertive, but when I'm in a vulnerable situation I tend to freeze.

When I was 15 I got on a bendy bus at Oxford st and it quickly filled up.
There was a man who stood facing me and kept pushing his crotch on mine whenever the bus jolted a little.
It was very much on purpose but I was paralysed and thought that this was to be expected on a packed bus. It was only years later that I realised this must've been a pervert trying to rub himself on me.

Sorry to hear you had an ordeal tonight. I hope the police can help; glad to hear they're taking it seriously.

Don't berate yourself for not coming up with a quirky come-back. Few of us do on the spot.

Sleep well.

Let's hope they get the bastard!

Sexual assault should not feel normal regardless of whether we're in the year 2016 or 1620.
Report the beast. They have CCTV on trains, I'm sure. Hopefully he'll be caught and prosecuted before he goes on to rape.

Delighted you've reported.