To think 'if I don't like you I tell you'

[yummysummerpudding]

Is NOT the sign of an honest and straightforward sort but someone with no fucking manners?

Salt of the Earth....

"I don't mean to be rude, but...." And "No offense, but...."

HATE THESE PEOPLE

I'm only saying what everyone is thinking...
Psychic rudeness!

And "it's just harmless banter I didn't mean any harm"

Usually said after you've said something incredibly horrible by a nasty person

"I'm not being funny..."
Cue something very un funny and nasty.

My family are very big on "constructive criticism".

'I always speak my mind.....'

'I'm not being funny, but....'

The sort of people who say things like this are always the most easily offended members of society.

They may as well wear an "I am bloody rude" t shirt.

Sorry but if your having a conversation and a person says i thought you diddnt like me i would say " you would know if i diddnt like you!" its all about context and i really cannot see what is nasty about it, its honetsy, its not offensive, its a way of saying i like you and if i diddnt i would ignore you or whatever, perhaps if more people were honest and not two faced bitching back stabbers the world might be a better place.

Yanbu
Does this person also claim to prefer dogs to people ?

I hate it when people say....'Well, you know me, I don't beat around the bush, I say it like it is!' Then they think they have the right to tear you/your friends/your style/your ideas, to pieces!
My usual response is, And you know me....I don't give a f***g damn!'

And "it's just harmless banter I didn't mean any harm"

Usually said after you've said something incredibly horrible by a nasty person

Ugh, or, "Can't you take a joke?"

Took me years to work out that the only response to that is a warm smile and, "Of course. When they're funny."

As PP's have said, it's pretty damn arrogant to assume that their opinion is so important to you!

My late grandmother did all the below. She was a horrible person. The rage if anyone disagreed with her, let alone was less than sycophantic.

She did stuff like tell people she hated their wedding dresses. Mine was "like a nightie" (bias cut silk crepe - was the turn of the millennium and that was the fashion). Other people looked like loo brush dollies, because natch nobody ever won.

She could never understand why my mum went NC. Looking back on it, I can't work out why none of the rest of us did.

If you give us some context, we might be better placed to offer opinions on if YABU or not.

sometimes it is good / necessary to be honest, even if its not pleasant. Usually it's best to think about how you say, what it is you need to say. Rarely is it good to lie.

Context is the key.

If I don't like someone I wouldn't be speaking to them anyway.
I CBA with unpleasant people.

You've all just described my mother. She thinks she's doing a kindness, now I see she's just employing cliches

trafalgargal but dont you get the irony there?

Oh yeah. Right up there with

"I'm not being funny or anything but...."

Or
"No disrespect, but...your a cunt"
Also saying someone "doesn't suffer fools gladly" like its a sign of integrity, rather than grumpy and lacking in patience

Actually, I'm with shazza - context is key. Often this sort of comment is in the context of a real-or-imagined "X always says something if they don't like Y". In that context, X saying "oh, Z - I think you'd know if I didn't like you" can actually be quite a friendly, cajoling thing.

Course, it's no fun to be a Y in that situation... But still - it can be said with kindness as the main intent

Sinister - I apparently "don't suffer fools gladly". What that means, IMO, is I get easily frustrated when people don't understand my explanations, and can be kind of a dick about it.

I see it as a personal failing, and it's something that I'm actively working on. Lack of patience isn't a virtue... ;)

I see no point in telling people you don't like them. Just avoid them. I have never had anyone say that to me, it sounds unnecessary. I prefer straight talking people to people who are nice to your face and nasty behind your back though, or people who sulk and hold grudges but expect you to guess what they are upset about and won't actually tell you and sort things out.
"I speak as I find" just sounds rude and stupid, but at least she's making it clear she's rude and stupid.

I wasn't going to say anything but.... well don't say it

Yeah. Why say it! DM says that a lot. Does my head in.

sleep I had the banter line followed by camt you take a joke lighten up, used on me the other day after I pulled someone up for makimg so,e really horrible comments about mums over 35

They really couldn't understand just how rude and unplesant they had been, weirdly it was prompted by someone else commenting on how when comparing her own parenting she was a much better mum at 35 than she was at 18 and that was such an evil attack against young mums that she was hounded all day by loads of 'honest banter'