My DTs are 2yo and and the other day my nanny told me they were not really good at sharing toys especially with other children when on playdates. We talked about it and it seems that we disagree on how some situations should be handled. I am from another country and therefore am ready to accept that there might cultural differences and I need to adapt!
Obviously I am all for sharing toys, happy children playing happily together etc.
But what about this specific situation:
Child A plays with a toy. Child B wants the same one and tries to take it from Child A. They fight (I have rarely a situation when Child A says "no you can't have it" and Child B quietly accepts it - that would be ideal of course!)
In my view, Child B should be told that Child A had the toy first and he has to find another one until the toy is free. Child A should be encouraged to give the toy if he doesn't seem interested anymore or after he plays with it for 5 more minutes or so.
My nanny thinks that the toy should be removed as the children were fighting.
I get that you want to discourage fighting. However this doesn't seem fair for Child A: either he lets go of the toy when the other child wants it, or he "fights for it" and the toys gets taken away. So basically, Child A who was minding his own business has no way of continuing to play with his toy just because someone else wants it. Isn't this unfair??