Aibu to think my sil & bil have acted like selfish twants

[pleasemothermay1]

So my bil and his family have rented a house by the sea and invited us to spend the day with them we have 3 small children the same age as there's

Bare in mind it's a 3 hour drive up there so we left at 7 to get there for about 10 so we set off text to say we're leaving didn't hear anything thought they may be getting the kids sorted we then get a text saying we're off to the national park later and to meet them there wtf that was about 9:30 so we were already half way there

We were not dressed to to go walk about in the frigging woods and to be honest after a 3 hour drive that's all my kids would want .we sent a text asking if they
Were they on there way and what entrance would we meet at

Bil then texted back they then say there still in bed and they will meet us there we can wait at the visitors centre.
to get there would have added another 1/2 hour drive to hour jounery

My husband says he's had enough and turns back
To think there are very selfish they bloody invited us if they wanted to go off for a day in the woods then they should have said one would imagine they decided to go before this morning if we had known we wouldn't have even have set off

At no point when they invited to spend the day with them at there beach house was national park mentioned and seeing as it's a 3 hour drive not sure when they expected us to arrive and to be still in bed is just taking the is the reason for all the texting because there weren't answering there phones

I don't really see how they were being cheeky if you hadn't said you preferred to go to the beach. To them going to the beach might not be so special so they might have thought the national park would be a nicer trip for you.

If they weren't picking up but we're texting why not text back instead? Turning around when you haven't even been explicit about your expectations/desires/needs sounds pretty rude if they were expecting you.

Talk about hotheads! You ruined your own day by going home in a huff. Poor kids sat in the car for 5 hours for nothing! You should have just gone on to the beach house and spent the day on the beach with the kids.

They sound very selfish. However, it would have been wise to go to the beach anyway seeing as you were nearly there. Never mind, lesson learnt. Chalk one up to experience.

Sound very like my brother and Sil. We went to visit them on a 2 night stay and they didn't even feed us once. Almost no food in the house - found one sliced loaf in the freezer (know what they're like so brought some for us). She's a sahm to school aged child btw and brother wasn't working the day we arrived so plenty of time to shop. Got stroppy because dh wasn't ready to go out for breakfast 45 minutes before the agreed time to go out because their ds was hungry. They had a go at us then went to the restaurant without us as couldn't wait. Then when we got there, they announced they didn't pay for ds's food as he doesn't eat much (all you can eat buffet so just sneaked some for him). We were . And of course we paid for ourselves despite having taken Sil and nephew out to lunch they day before when brother was nursing a hangover so didn't come.

That's just one example. Common theme. They want to meet up to discuss something - inheritance it's not our money yet as parent not deceased - dh not very keen. They live by the sea as well 2.5 hr drive. We agreed half way meet up and I suggested soft play so the kids could run around and we could chat. Now turned into - why don't y'all come and see us and you can rent a camping pod round the corner for the night. No offer to put us up (not that we want to stay again after last time - what I described above was the tip of the iceberg).

Some of us have very selfish and self absorbed family member. Brother had great training from parents on that score being taught he was a superior male.

You all sound like hard work!

Yes they were a bit thoughtless, but they're also not psychic and it sounds as if you'd rather ruin your own day and head home to write a thread on mumsnet than have an actual conversation with your relatives, or head to the beach with your kids.

I don't see why you couldn't have communicated to your BIL/SIL that the forest didn't work for you, and then just gone to the beach. Result : everyone happy, nice day out.

Instead you chose to do a pointless round trip and send PA texts. I'm not surprised they haven't replied - they probably think you're bonkers to do a 5 hour journey and not even show up, just to prove how 'ruined' your day was.

I think you need to take some responsibility here

But why didn't you just go to the beach anyway? Your bil doesn't need to hold your hand ....

It does all sound a miscommunication! Not surprising that the brothers don't see each other much if this happens!

Not sure if they are selfish or just thoughtless tbh.

I think YA both BU. I like a good forest so wouldn't have thought this was a lesser option than the beach, but if you did why didn't you just say? It was perhaps frustrating that they changed plans but if instead of getting furious you just said someyhing I'm sure they would have met you at the beach. Or you could just go to the beach by yourselves. Sounds like they are a bit disorganised and on holiday time so didn't get out the house quick enough, annoying but hardly a cardinal sin? Turning around and driving back for three hours because you didn't like their suggestion and they were late is a bit mad in my view. Not sure I could get that angry about a walk in the woods and a coffee at a visitor centre instead of the beach!