To tell the teens they can't watch TV in the living room around the toddler's bedtime?

[BigBollards]

I have a 22 month old and have difficulties getting her settled to sleep easily. I've started being more strict with an evening routine, and part of that is quiet time before supper. I can't do this in her room because it's tiny, only big enough for her cot. I'd like her to sometimes watch a bit of cbeebies, or read or cuddle with soothing music on. However, my step children, all older teens, end up hanging around in the living room chatting or putting films on. They've each got their own rooms with TVs and WiFi but like to gather sociably downstairs. Which is fine, but I'd rather they didn't for an hour or so around the toddler's bedtime.

If I don't get her calmed and in the mood for bed, I'm usually stuck trying to get her to sleep until 10pm. DP said it's unfair to tell them they can't be in their own living room every night, but I think it's unfair that I give up all my evenings fighting a toddler to sleep. DP works most evenings so I can't say 'well you sort the bedtime routine out then'.

Before anyone suggests it, the house isn't big enough for me to use another quiet room to let her relax and play, but like I say they all have decent sized bedrooms with TVs, laptops, gaming etc in. Two of their bedrooms are big enough for them all to congregate in if they wish to watch stuff together.

Am I being unfair to put my foot down with this? I've already had to stop them having the living room TV on all day every day as the toddler just ends up gawping at it and ignoring her toys & activities.

What koala said!

We do bath and hairwash then into our room for two cbeebies programme -they are 2&5 so each pick one. then telly off one story together then we divide and conquer, each putting one to bed. they are in bed by 6.30.
The tv is not an issue IF its used sensibly -totally agree about limiting the amount of time it's on in family room!
I would just do wind down upstairs in bath/your room. Ask them to keep the noise down whilst you get dd off

I'm with koala too.

Plus putting this bizarre personal communal room concept aside, since when has watching tv or an iPad for an hour before the normal bath, stories, bed, been an essential part of a wind down routine for a toddler?

If two of the bedrooms are big enough could you get two of your SC to share a bedroom. It seems unfair your DD has such a tiny bedroom. Bedtime could be quietly watching something suitable for a 22 month old, in the family room, then upstairs for a bath and then a story in her own bedroom which would be more suitable if there was more space than a box room.

It's bit unfair for a toddler to have a box room!

It would be very silly for sibling relationships to make teens share rooms. The op doesn't State if they are the same sex.

Toddlers don't need a big room.

And amazed that TVs plays any part in a 2 year olds bed time routine. Why?

When did I say I wanted her to watch TV for an hour before bed? I said I wanted the TV off, that's my whole bloody aibu!

Sometimes she can watch a 10 mins cbeebies programme in the evening as it's one way to start getting her to sit down and begin quiet time. Read my op - I said I'd like the quiet time to sometimes watch TV, sometimes cuddle & listen to music & sometimes read. Most likely a mixture of two or three of these, plus quietening activities like putting the toys to sleep. For the people who suggested baths - she gets madly excited about baths so they're a day time event but I understand the suggestion as they do calm most kids.

As foe thinking I don't like the teens, they live with me full time and have done for 14 years - I have raised them with my dp since they were very young themselves. I love them very much and they're great company which is why I like having them downstairs during the day, just not with the telly blaring all day! Talk about reading into something that's not there.

Koala yes they are welcome. Not in the way that they are cordially invited to grace my presence, I meant they are welcome in that they are my children and my family. There was no funny tone to my sentence intended, it was not meant the way you appear to have taken it. I would have thought the bit I said about getting on brilliantly and love having them around would have made that clear.

The teens have decent sized rooms because we moved from a cramped house where they shared box rooms with bunk beds and of course they deserve proper rooms, they are all either adults now or nearly adults.

Okay, sorry - the tone probably didn't translate well, but I'll take your word for it (and hats off to you for raising someone else's kids - meant genuinely!)

I guess what some of us don't get is, why can't the entire wind-down ritual of whatever it is, be done in your bedroom?

We always watched a bit of TV as part of our children's evening routine, usually old series that dh and I enjoyed, like Bagpuss or Mr Ben.

OP could you talk to your teenagers about TV they enjoyed when they were little and see if they perhaps have a few suggestions of things they might enjoy sharing with the baby? then the calming down time is also communal. They might also enjoy reading stories to her. That way it's less you hiding away/them having to be quiet and more of a family thing.

If you are struggling to get your DD to bed then TV or any screen time for 2-3 hours prior is a no no as it is stimulating. Reading is much better. If the TV is so loud it's keeping her awake YANBU to ask them to turn it down.

And I like nooka suggestions.