Twins won't be in the same class...

[archiealfie]

My twins (boys) are going into Reception, but have been put into different classes, on purpose!? Is this normal?

My DT's (boy/girl) were never in the same class - at our request. They needed to be treated as individuals and make their own friends and we made sure that they did separate after school activities. They are now at different Uni's.

This is normal, although research shows slightly improved outcomes if they are NOT split.

We did request that ours were together. The Head said if it was REALLY important to us, she'd jiggle the classes, but she would prefer to split them.

We went along with the split and it's worked incredibly well. There was a lot of interaction within the whole year group, and the boys are in the same House so have lots of joint activities.

They have separate and mutual friends.

It will be great for them. Imagine the stories they'll have to tell each other at home. My DS and DD aren't the same age, but spend half their lives gossiping about school. They'll have lunch breaks etc. to sit together, but this will help them develop independence and their own circles of friends.

We keep twins together in reception and then the classes get juggled in year 1 and they tend to get separated.

My twins were in completely different schools but that was due to additional needs.

I have found twins in class who constantly look to the other for reassurance before they do things. One is often the leader and it's like the other one needs their approval to go ahead with a task. This is a generalisation l know but l have met it a few times. So being apart would stop that happening. Focus on the times they will be together like playtime and remind them of that. They will take their cue from you so be upbeat and positive.

I have twins, I requested them to be seperated on starting reception, they didn't know anyone else in th school and they were fine. They have their own friends and interests and at every parents evening teachers have commented it was the right thing to do. They get to be good, bad or mediocre at something without being compared. One of mine is very competitive and may have overshadowed the other. I have brothers who are twins they both opted out a bit at school to avoid being "in competition" with eachother.
There are several other sets of twins at our school and when classes have been mixed later on and twins seperated at a later stage some have struggled initially.
Nobody needs to spend 24/7 with their sibling! Let them have their own space.

I firmly (as a parent of twins) believe the decision should be made jointly between school and parents, and where relevant, pre school/childminder

What is right for one set of twins may be entirely wrong for another and blanket policies are not helpful

If you have concerns, go and have a chat with the school - better to put your mind at rest and air any worries now than later

Also do read the TAMBA material as it is very helpful...

All the research by Tamba and the Multiple Birth Foundation says there should NOT be a policy in any school about 'what to do with multiples'. Instead the school should consult with the parents - in recognition that they know their children best! If you feel strongly either way then the school need to follow your lead. Tamba will help you if you want them to.

To suggest its the only way for them to be known as individuals is lazy teaching practice. My catchment school tried to suggest that my sons should be in separate classes so that "they don't share the same news after holidays etc". I was utterly disgusted that their staff couldn't be bothered to get to know each child as an individual and, needless to say, my children are not at that school. I kept them together, they are thriving and the teachers recognise 2 different little boys (who happen to look alike!!).

Equally many people ask for separate classes because that's what is best for their multiples. The best schools will adapt to the needs of the children and can accommodate changes if they're needed.

I have an acquaintance who has pushed to have her twins put together in every year at school. They are now in secondary school and from what I can see it hasn't helped either of them.
The more academic one has outshone its sibling at every single subject. The more popular one has made lots of friends meaning that the other twin simply tags along rather than developing it's own friendships.

My twins were separated by the school without them asking us. The quieter one really missed his brother at first but it worked out really well. The boys both made their own friends and had lots to talk about when they came home. We still found that teachers compared them but they were able to develope their own strengths.
I'm a twin as well and my sister and I were together right through primary school. We were compared constantly and teachers couldn't tell us apart so were always "the twins". I have to say when we were separated in 3rd year it was bloody brilliant!

My b/g twins were together in Reception and seperate classes after. It's worked really well for them. Maybe see how it goes for reception and chat with teacher later in the year and see what their take on it is. Good luck!

You shd have been consulted. I would be unimpressed if they just decided on my behalf. My 3yo twins are at a v small nursery and don't crowd each other or boss each other at all. So I would have no concerns (at the moment) about them being in the same class. Luckily their likely primary has 1.5 class intake but all together for R and Y1 (when I think they will get most comfort from knowing the other is there).

One of my friends, who is a twin and she has twins, actually asked for her twins to be separated when they started school. The reason for her doing this was that she and her sister weren't separated and people always referred to them as "the twins" and she says she hated it. Her twins will be starting senior school in September and she will be ensuring that they are separated there too.

Nearly all children go to school without having a sibling in the same class. Your kids are not special snowflakes

Friend's twins went in different classes, it was definitely for the best, they found out in the first year or two that one child was severely dyslexic, living in his very clever twin's shadow could have seriously affected his confidence. He has since developed his own wonderful personality where his practical talents match the brains of his sibling.

I work in a primary school - we have 3 sets of identical twins and one of triplets, and they are all, without exception, split up.

It's good for them to grow individually, rather than as a set.

To OP:
This is to allow each one to develop as an individual and to ensure that one is not reliant on the other.

At my school, they separate the twins unless the parent requests otherwise. You could talk to the Head if you're unhappy?
I had a class with twins in last year as the parents didnt want them split and they were absolutely fine together.

Mine have been together, apart and together again. I haven't really noticed much difference either way. They both about the same academically though and not particularly competitive with each other.

They're at secondary now (y7) and were put together as there were only them and 1 other child from their primary moving to that school so they kept the 3 of them together. The Head of KS3 did ask if they would mind being split up so they may be next year.

All twins are different though so what works for one pair may not work for another.
I'm surprised the school didn't ask - the primary asked when they separated them and then again when they wanted to put them in the same class.

It seems to be working fairly well for my b/g twins alfie. I know what you mean about feeling a bit sad ...when nursery teacher (same school, they work quite closely with Reception) recommended separating them to expedite DD's speech I agreed but wasn't sure. (DS did a lot of talking for her.)
At the end of Reception her speech has improved enormously.
They are very close and I'm sure it's partly because they don't have time to become fed up with each other.

We used to ask the parents, but some schools have a policy of separating twins. A lot of parents ask for them to be separated.

Yes this seems pretty normal in a lot of primary schools.

In my year in reception class, I remember there were twin boys & twin girls and they both were put into separate classes.

My younger brother & sister are twins and they were put into separate classes in reception. My parents were totally happy with this as were my brother and sister.

They were, and still are, very close- but separate classes was a good thing for them as they developed independence and were not always relying on each other. Plus, they made separate friendships in each of their classes.

Did you raise your concerns with the school before they were put in separate classes?

You can ask the school to put them together if you want. It's something TAMBA have campaigned for.

My boys have been in the same class of ten for three years and will be split when the move to mainstream juniors in September. It's a good thing.