to feel so guilty for talking to my ex? when i am married and my dh hates him

[fakeplantsneverdie]

brief back story : this ex was the one that got away, we had been friends for years ended up having a fling just before i got with DH ....i liked him a lot but i was a single mum of one and he couldn't commit and it bothered him that i had a child i think. (we were quite young) ....but i always hold a bit of a torch for him because he was the first bloke that i dated after being in a very long and bad relationship and i think he made me realise my potential in a way. as our fling was fizzling out i met dh and my feelings for dh way eclipsed this guy and we got serious quickly and went on to get married and have more dc

dh dislikes him as when i got with dh i was still friends with ex, but he still kept trying it on with me and basically trying to cause trouble between us. and in the end i realised i had to cut contact with ex to make it work with dh

ex moved away a few years ago but is still good friends with my brother and they see eachother quite a bit

well dh was out the other night and ex messaged me and we spent hours chatting. not about anything dodgy it was literally like old mates just catching up

but i feel hideously guilty because if DH knew he would be gutted

i feel like i have cheated

OK. Then no real harm done. The call of a younger, more carefree time can be very tempting. But this is how marriages are wrecked...one tiny step at a time. Don't give yourself permission to do that. You know it wasn't just an innocent catch up with an old mate. Well done for pulling yourself up short.

"The call of a younger, more carefree time can be very tempting"

You have summed it up

The person I was then (9 / 10 years ago) was a person I miss greatly in a lot of ways, I was young, attractive and had men falling all over me ...sorry if that's big headed, I was probably not much different to any 20 something but I feel old and a bit invisible now :/

I know.

Speak to your husband. If you are both a bit caught up in work and kids and humdrum daily life then maybe a kick start is needed.

we really are anyfucker its relentless at the moment got 3 jobs between us, 3 under ten inc a toddler and we don't get any time to ourselves, same as any parents I suppose but I just miss the early days. I miss him ...I would hate to think he is as bored as me :/

Ask him ?

Did the guilt ever go away? Did you ever tell him? (Asking bc I gets where you’re coming from yrs later)