To be really pissed off with my ex?

[Welshmaenad]

ExH and I split 7 months ago, 2DC (primary school age). He works full time, I am a student. I own my new home thanks to my dad releasing money to me following g my mums death 2 years ago. Split was instigated by me as I was unhappy. Ex and I are both in new relationships.

He pays me no maintenance. This was my decision, as at the time of the split I was feeling guilty and worried about how he would maintain his home on his own. He doesn't seem to be struggling as much as I anticipated though, and has just come back from a weekend away with his new partner. I'm not rolling in it over the summer due to no student finance, I get tax credits and CB and my lovely dad has been helping me a little financially so I can afford to treat the kids a bit.

DD has a school residential trip to be paid for. Months ago ex and I agreed we would split large costs like this, several weeks ago he said he would be able to help after payday so on the weekend I asked if he could transfer me done money got his half.

He responded by saying 'I thought your dad gave you money for her trip?'. I said no, dad gave me some money, some for my half of the trip, most went in new clothes for the kids that actually fit,and my gas bill.

This evening at handover I asked him again and he got really arsey. I pointed out that they are his kids, not my dads, and given that he pays zero maintenance it's the least he can do, socially as he's just been on holiday.

He told me he would pay something but that he wasn't paying anything to the upkeep of the house, that my financial worries are 'my problem' and that I was the one who wanted to leave so I could deal with it. His parting shot was 'and I'm not paying your fucking gas bill' at which point J got in the car and left before the urge to punch him became overwhelming.

I pay everything for the kids, all the childcare fees (£60+ a week) their activities which are over £40 a week before you add uniforms etc on top, I started from scratch in my new house because I didn't want to put him in the position of replacing things even though all the major appliances etc were bought as gifts from my parents.

AIBU to want to kill him at this moment in time?

I think you need to see a solicitor pronto. He could try and claim half your assets..

Agree, you need legal advice asap.

Claim child maintenance and put it into savings accounts for you children. It is their money that they have a right to. Your ex sounds like an arse.

See a solicitor and then claim child maintenance. Do it formally.
His kids - he provides for them.

MsVestibule part of the informal agreement that involved no maintenance was that he made no claim on my property and that I made no claim on his (married so entitled to half, he bought it before we met on a mortgage, but I have put approx £15k into it from previous inheritances, having work done and renovating/upgrading).

However I am now thinking I may need legal advice. And soon, as my dad is reasonably poorly and whilst I hope he's with me for a long time to come, realistically this may but be the case, and my inheritance stands to be significant; I want to protect that for the DC.

Do get some legal advice. Does this dick see his children at all? You may need to be prepared for him to start using contact with the children as a way of punishing you further - because he is an abusive sexist and is desperate to find ways of making your life difficult. You are, in his eyes, a disobedient dog that needs to be trained to know its place - you ran away and have had the audacity to be doing OK without an owner, so he needs to punish you.

He does see the children - he has them roughly 2 nights per week but due to his variable work schedule there's no pattern to this st all, it's literally when he dictates he will have them. I asked him in May to have the children this past weekend as my DP and I had an event and he decided to book a weekend away and claim ignorance. DP ended up having to go on his own as the children couldn't attend.

I've been bending over backwards to keep him happy and maintain good relations for the kids sake but he's just taking the absolute piss out of me.

It's not clear whether you are separated or formally divorced. If you aren't divorced make sure you protect your assets because if he's angry he could come after them, and once that is sorted definitely pursue maintenance. As PPs said, even if you don't use it put it in a savings account for the kids.

blue we are separated but not divorced.