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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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51 replies

peppajay · 11/07/2016 22:25

AIBU to think that if you get some post for the previous occupants of your house you don't just bin it especially if the previous occupants cousin lives opposite. So cross as been waiting for some important correspondence and found out has gone to my old address. When found this out thought I would pop round to my old house to see if they had it and they have binned it. So cross as they know my cousin lives across the road from them so they could have passed to her? I always redirect post and thought it was common sense to do so - you don't just throw something out that doesn't belong to you.

OP posts:
tibbawyrots · 12/07/2016 09:07

I would never give post to anyone that knocked for it. I do return to sender every time.

What if they're using your address to take out credit? Plus some companies/Gov depts don't want post redirected, HMRC and I believe DVLA envelopes are marked not to redirect.

PurpleDaisies · 12/07/2016 09:10

Three years later you're being totally unreasonable to expect someone to deal with your post. It's irrelevant your cousin is across the road from them.

MidniteScribbler · 12/07/2016 09:49

Why not? It takes a couple of seconds to cross out the address & write "return to sender" then pop it in the post box.
I really don't get it when people just thrown other people's post in the bin.

Well for me, there is no post box in relatively easy access. I would have to go to one of the shopping centres, park, go inside. Even then, the post box is inside the post office, so I would need to make sure I was there during (post office) business hours, which rarely happens. I'm not leaving work early just for someone else's mail. The only time I go anywhere near it is before christmas to post parcels. The nearest post box that I could access after hours is ten minutes away in the opposite direction from my work, and I'm not going out of my way for someone who can't be bothered putting a redirection on, or changing their address. Especially since most of the mail that I get is from companies I have already returned to sender many times in the past and they haven't bothered changing things.

londonrach · 12/07/2016 12:38

My nearest post box is a bit of a walk away up a steep hill in a direction i dont go. I often have my own post waiting to be posted no way would i keep anyone elses as well. All post not to us goes in the bin 2 secs after it comes through the door. Redirect is there for a purpose! Id certainly never ever give post even if i had it to random person at door if you asked. I do take in neighbour parcels all the time as they collect quickly and im home.

peppajay · 12/07/2016 13:56

Obviously the fault lies with the health authority for using our old adress when up until 3 months ago they had used our new address. I am very upset as we have missed appointments we didn't know existed and because of this my son has been discharged from the community child health services for failing to attend 3 appointments which I have chased up months ago only to be told appointments would be sent out soon -considering they had our new address which they have been using for 3 years I had absolutely no idea that letters would gave gone to the old address. We now have to get re referred by the GP and start the process all over again although I have lodged a complaint with the health authority I hope to get back in the system or I will be devastated. I honestly just thought it was common courtesy to re direct we always do and always have - I know it is the new occupants of our old houses fault but I honestly thought if they had a letter or 2 letters addressed to us they would have re directed it!!

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 12/07/2016 14:06

When we moved in to our new house last year, the old residents asked us to pass any mail onto the neighbours 3 doors down as they still kept in touch.

6 months later we're still getting mail, and what looks like important Mail, for them to our house. Handed it to neighbours and said we would hand it over for another month and after that it would be getting returned to sender, and we did just that.

JennyOnAPlate · 12/07/2016 14:13

I returned mail to sender for six months or so when we first moved in. We've been here 11 years now and still get at least 2 items of post a week for the previous owners, which we bin.

It's not new owners fault you didn't get your post, sorry.

Yokohamajojo · 12/07/2016 14:29

I happily bin post to the previous owner, I started out being nice bringing it over to another neighbour who was still in contact with him but now 8 years later when he still gets important share letters, bills, all sorts to this address I bin them and hope he gets in trouble

Gottagetmoving · 12/07/2016 14:49

We re posted all post for the previous owners as 'return to sender - Not known at this address'
We would have forwarded on the the previous owners if we had their address, or even taken it round if it was not far.
However, I wouldn't expect anyone to do this because it is not their responsibility. We are just a bit OCD about things going to the right place Grin

PurpleDaisies · 12/07/2016 14:53

We are just a bit OCD about things going to the right place

A bit OCD meaning you actually have OCD? I hope you're not making light of what for many people is a pretty horrible thing to have to live with. Hmm

Kitkatmonster · 12/07/2016 14:53

Sorry but I think yabu. I have redirected post for a few weeks after occupants moved out but that is to give them chance to change address etc. After that it gets return to sender scrawled on and posted in post box. To be honest, years later I would also be binning - it's just a hassle sending on others post and I'd assume after 2/3 years that it was junk anyway!

Slave2thecat · 12/07/2016 14:55

I wouldn't pass on important looking post to any one but the addressee - Id not put aby nhs letters through anyone else's door.

I get lots of post for random people who used to live in our house and to be honest I can't be bothered to work out where to forward it all too so I just return it to sender. If there was no local post box Id bin it.

I'd say YABU and the people who binned your post are nbu.

m0therofdragons · 12/07/2016 14:57

It's not common sense at all. It's about life being busy and no way am I faffing around with other people's mail. After 2 years I'd assume it was junk mail.

m0therofdragons · 12/07/2016 15:00

It's unlikely it would have any sign it was from the nhs - due to patient confidentiality most trusts have plain envelopes now. Yes it's frustrating but you're blaming the wrong people.

Gottagetmoving · 12/07/2016 15:23

A bit OCD meaning you actually have OCD? I hope you're not making light of what for many people is a pretty horrible thing to have to live with

It WAS a lighthearted comment. It is allowed. I know someone with actual real OCD - and despite that they have a sense of humour.

AntiHop · 12/07/2016 15:30

Now I've read your updates yanbu. It us annoying to get post for previous occupants but it wouldn't have been too much hassle for them to give it to your cousin.

TurquoiseDress · 12/07/2016 18:14

I'm definitely in the minority in this thread :-)

Recently, the previous occupant had a letter from the local hospital.
There was no stamp mark on the envelope but I saw the hospital trust name printed & also the department as I recognised one of the consultant names listed as he is a friend of the family.

I don't work far from the hospital and so I dropped it into the hospital reception & they straight away put it in the internal mail.

It didn't put me out to do it all, I realise this is not something that most people would do- but I didn't like the thought of the patient not getting his appointment or missing out on something important.

If it was out-patient appointments he was missing as he did not know about them, he'd simply be discharged back to his GP.

I know I could have just re-directed it to the hospital but it was easier just to drop it in.

Anyhow, that's just me.

DOI- I am a doctor

frankie001 · 12/07/2016 18:43

Cottage just because you know one person with ocd who wouldn't be offended doesn't mean the rest of us aren't. I have ocd and a wicked sense of humour, but found none in your post.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/07/2016 19:04

Peppajay - maybe they'd forgotten your cousin lived opposite? If it has been a long time since they had to hand over any mail for you to your cousin, it's probably slipped their minds.

We have been at our house for over 7 years, and still get post for the old owners - if dh gets to it first, he bins it. If I get to it, I put 'Not Known At This Address' and put it in the hall to go in the post the next time I am going past the box - which may not be for days - and I am not getting in the car specially to return mail for people who never really bothered to sort out redirection.

I probably wouldn't bin something that obviously came from a hospital, but I wouldn't think it was my responsibility to get it to the old owners - it would just get returned.

Gottagetmoving · 12/07/2016 19:20

Cottage just because you know one person with ocd who wouldn't be offended doesn't mean the rest of us aren't. I have ocd and a wicked sense of humour, but found none in your post

Well that's a shame. If you take offence so easily that's sad. I am sorry you found no humour in my post.

Gottagetmoving · 12/07/2016 19:21

Btw,....you got my name wrong but I am not offended.

frankie001 · 12/07/2016 19:28

GOTTA I just don't find taking the piss out of a mental illness and belittling it amusing.

PurpleDaisies · 12/07/2016 19:29

Well that's a shame. If you take offence so easily that's sad. I am sorry you found no humour in my post.

Try it with other illnesses...
I'm a little bit anorexic
I'm a little bit schizophrenic
I've got a little bit of the cancer

It isn't funny.

Gottagetmoving · 12/07/2016 19:32

I was taking the piss out of myself. I was not belittling anyone. There are varying degrees of OCD. Many people have it. I have rituals myself...I have also suffered mental illness. You can choose to be offended, that's up to you, but the remark was not an insult in any way.

Gottagetmoving · 12/07/2016 19:41

Purpledaisies
You don't find it funny. It was not meant to be hilarious. I do tend to be obsessed with things being done right. I get teased for it. That was my explanation for making sure to return post. That's all.
If that offends you. Fair enough.