AIBU for traffic really.
My 2 yr old son's father, now a good friend, rarely contacts his mother. She almost died when he was a teen, which led to a drug habit that he ended when DS was born. It also led to other psychological issues like being unable to throw anything away. His mother somehow didn't notice the drugs. She knows little about his life because neither of them communicate. They're on very loving terms when they do, but no info is shared. They're just silent types. She's now definitely going to die, so her husband said to me (and told me not to tell my ex). Ex suspects this but is hiding his head in the sand. He doesn't call or visit her and vice versa. I'm afraid that her dying will push him back into drugs, especially as his job and living situation aren't good right now. He's a lovely father and tries very hard with DS but he acts by spur of the moment emotion rather than common sense most of the time.
My question - do I contact his mother and ask her to initiate contact with him? I'm tempted to tell her about his problems and that I'm scared how he'll react if she does die. I know he'll hugely regret not spending time with her. I've pushed him to contact her to no avail. He's in denial.
It's terrible and I feel so sorry for her. I know I'm a very different person though, who wouldn't just sit on all these feelings in silence. Writing to her could be such a bad thing to do and I'm only considering it because he's my DS father and I do care about his wellbeing.