to have called my child's favourite teddy a twat?

[doing]

We're going away tomorrow. Youngest child (3) has a teddy he. Cannot. Live. Without.

Whilst looking for something else today in the office (rarely used) I happened to see Teddy lying behind the door. Pure chance as I never usually go in there and I'm packing the car TODAY for an early start.

Grabbed teddy, found myself saying to him "Jesus Teddy, you twat!"

WIBU to blame Teddy for almost being left behind?
WIBU to call him a twat?
Have I been suckered into believing teddy is the animate, sentient being that DC clearly believes?

I think I need a cuppa. Long day.

That twat had it coming

I talk to my dds teddy when everyone is out of the house...I would never call him a that though...yabvu

I called Thomas the Tank engine an arsehole wanker recently. Bastard tripped me up.
I have had many a hunt for Ds1's favourite teddy. Usually he's hiding under the bed. I'm starting to wonder if he's trying to escape from my son.

Cigars you could be onto something there. Maybe teddy was trying deliberately to get left behind?!

Shit that puts a whole new perspective on Teddy #1 who got left in Mallorca. That scheming bastard!

I spend my whole life keeping tabs on DS special bear.
We had 4 (all identical) but now we're down to 3 as DP lost one so he got called a twat that day.

If only kids got attached to more than one bloody bear, would make my life much easier

We had spares but now Teddy#3 is noticeably newer than Teddy#2 and doesn't cut the mustard...

YABVU- teddies can do no wrong. Dolls on the other hand are sinister works of the devil.

You'll pay for that now. Teddies are right conniving bastards, and you thwarted his plan to miss the holiday and have a week long furry sex orgy with plush Peppa and that stuffed dog from number 17 that's always giving him the button eye at playgroup.

Sleep with one eye open, OP.

You should have heard the names I called Monkey and Bearly one holiday, when we realised my (then) 5yr old had dropped them in a pitch black caravan site around midnight

The fuckers finally turned up near the camp club.

Probably pissed out of their furry little heads too.

this thread is giving me a much needed laugh!!!

Page!

yes you are! Dd's teddy is idolised in this house...the hours ive spent in shops looking for him, having a panic attack...ive fixed him around 10 times after the dog chewed him up! He has his own school uniform, backpack etc. She's just started secondary but he's still going strong...I "babysit" him in the day

Ds's comfort toy is currently in the freezer (to get rid of dust mites)

Ds has insisted on giving her a spoon so she can help herself to ice cream.

Yabu. I apologize to DSs teddies if i accidndyislly stand on them. Even if alone in the house

*accidentally

LTB

Oh Op, yabu

My dd has a raggy cheap old doll called Rosie that she's drawn all over and one of its eyes is wonky. I love Rosie and when I'm tidying round I sit her up on the settee so she can watch Real Housewives of Orange County with me
Once dd left her outside in the rain and when it dawned on us where she was we were all beside ourselves. I lay her on the settee with a blanket for a warm

Witchend I like your DDs thinking!

I don't get the soft toy affection. I'll admit a grudging respect for Teddy, as he does seem to have the magic touch with DD.... Mostly he holds me in the grip of fear that we'll lose him somewhere...

my DD's doll (also Rosie) has currently being "inked" and is sporting temporary tattoos all down her arms and legs like some kind of hells angel. Guess thats called growing up - Rosie will be smoking next

Not only do I talk to DD's teddies, I reply on their behalf when she talks to them.

We had to wash one because she was covered in Vaseline and we had to explain to her why we were doing it. She enjoyed the experience but found it a bit bumpy.

Oh I'd be appalled if our Rosie started smoking

I do her replies as well in a squeaky voice.

Dd also pretends my feet are people and calls them "footies" and I do their voices too

We are very weird.