to think I'm making a big mistake

[anxietywinsagain]

So after a short gap I am about to re embark on my career. I have been offered a job (job A) down the road so probably commute of 15 mins each way and a job with a 40 minute commute each side (job B)
I absolutely love working where job B is, all my friends work in that area and the overall area is 1000x better than job A.
However the job looks very stressful (although on paper shorter hours than job b) and I haven't worked for a few months so am a bit wary of hitting the ground running. Job B looks really easy but has no extra frills like bonus healthcare etc. Which job A does.after commuting both jobs are similar pay.

Now the only reason i am going back to work is I want to leave my H as it's been a long time coming and I'm desperate to get out now it's making me so down to still be here. We have a dd who is about to start morning at a preschool in September and even though I am desperate to live my old life with job A, job B will allow me to drop her off in the morning and generally save a lot on childcare. I do however know that with a struggle I can get childcare sorted if I took job A. AIBU (or maybe just plain daft) to choose my old life which makes me so happy and allows me to have social links which I don't have locally and has better career prospects vs being in a less stressful job while I go through with a divorce. One option is to work local then go back to area A in the future once divorce is done however job A is in a really good location hard to beat.
Also will working further away instead of local affect me having dd to stay with me if my H tries to dispute when he sees her etc. I think me and H are more friends now so I can't see us fighting too much but I would need child maintenance for childcare costs if I was to take job A. I imagine taking the local job would make me look better as a 'mum' whilst getting a divorce, although feel bad saying that my dd does come first but I feel following my career will help all of us in the long run.

Any advice appreciated. I have to let these jobs know by today which one I choose and I have really sat on this all weekend!

I would be wary of choosing a job based on the attractiveness of the area. Ime, as soon as the working day is done, I'm whizzing home to takeover childcare not able to socialise with colleagues. I'd choose the nearer job since the extra childcare costs of the job with the bigger commute will reduce your wage, meaning the nearer job actually pays more.

The commute is fine 59 mins is not a big deal however I'm about to call up and turn down a job in my favoured area and take easier childcare option job and stuck this out for 12 months and hope to return to big city job soon. I think I will be able to get a job, I put my cv out only recently and had 8 companies ask to interview me in city. Local work is hard to come by on good wage so hoping I make right decision and worst case maybe I'll be able to pick up the pieces if I haven't. Thanks so much all. It's all been invaluable to helping my scattered mind make a decision! I think with an imminent divorce picking an easy job is right now and I hope once dd in full time school I can go back to city without feeling like I'm putting my career first (not that that is my main decider as I've tended to do that previously!) thanks

Thank you what you see. That is what I'm trying to sort is that childcare will cripple me if I move away. My parents have said I can move in with them rent free and I have equity in my house now so hopefully be able to buy nearer the place I like so much if I manage to save more to go towards it. I anticipate things going bad with stbxh as any normal divorce would go but he is a high up professional in a big famous corporation and would probably not like a public fight so I'm hoping I can avoid a nasty nasty split as normally anything that affects his job makes him stop any bad behaviour but he's said he's also very unhappy so I think either way I'm hoping we can get through it and yes I want child maintenance but I hope to be able to live on my own wage and be done with him come what may!

Well done on making a choice OP. Wishing you the best of luck moving forward and can totally see the benefits of choosing the option that is going to make life easiest in the short term. I hope you start this job and realise you absolutely love it!

I wish you all the best OP