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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Only Invited to the Evening Do...

41 replies

TheRadiantAerynSun · 10/07/2016 18:51

Not a wedding, but a christening.

My cousin has invited us to her DD's christening, but it's an evening only invite. I don't really mind (saves me having to keep DS quiet through the ceremony) but I've never heard of this before. Is that a thing now?

AIBU to think it a bit unusual!

OP posts:

ChimpyChops · 10/07/2016 20:50

How ridiculous.

I wouldn't go and would have to ask why they were doing evening and day invitations, I'm not sure how I would word it but I would have to know.

monkeysox · 10/07/2016 20:55

If christening is with other children being baptised there may be a number limit for the church for each family. We had this for one dc

MissMoo22 · 10/07/2016 21:28

It's quite common here to have only family and Godparents at the chapel then invite your wider circle to the party afterwards. Seems to be quite a hit as a lot of people don't like church services and the worry of unruly kids running around during the service is cut out (apart from family members kids).

To be honest, I'd be happy just to go to the food and drink part and leave out the church.

Ginslinger · 10/07/2016 21:30

this beats everything I've read today

WamBamThankYouMaam · 10/07/2016 21:37

Oh honestly, a christening party is whatever you want it to be. Where I'm from it is a big party after, which does go on into the night. My friends and family would be horrified at the thought of a few sandwiches after.

I also know a few people who've had naming ceremonies but called them christenings because they got a bit bored of having to explain to every other person what they were having.

FoggyBottom · 10/07/2016 21:38

Christenings for regular communicant members of a congregation (clergy family here) are part of the regular Sunday morning service. It's about welcoming a new member of the congregation. Anyone can attend.

Anything else is a social events, doe for reasons of being socially "proper".

JennyOnAPlate · 10/07/2016 21:41

I just scrolled down to write exactly what foggy has written. Every christening I have attended has taken place during the Sunday church service, and is therefore a public event open to anyone who wants to attend.

LuluJakey1 · 10/07/2016 21:42

I hate weddings and all the squabbling and huffs that go with them, now it looks like christenings will go the same way .

RaeSkywalker · 10/07/2016 22:11

I've never been to a christening with 2 tiers of guests before- you were either invited to the church and reception, or not invited at all. I think it's very strange personally! Glad that you're going to support your cousin though.

ILoveDolly · 10/07/2016 22:17

Never heard of this. Basically any excuse for a party with gifts?

Only1scoop · 10/07/2016 22:19

Blimey never heard this

Think I'd be a bit busy

Lilacpink40 · 10/07/2016 22:30

You said it suits you anyhow so I don't understand the problem.

The church is probably small, so they're worried that they cannot invite every family member as regular congregation will take seats early, but they're arranging and paying for a party so all family can join in afterwards.

Unless they've specifically asked for large gifts I don't think their intention is bad, quite the reverse. You even said that your cousin is lovely, so are you really put out?

If you're so desperate to go to the church just go. You can stand at back and don't blame them when you have to stand for ages.

Trojanhorsebox · 10/07/2016 22:30

it's a gift grab!

BeckyMcDonald · 10/07/2016 22:31

I think, to be honest, your cousin has just confirmed that the world has reached peak dickhead.

sparechange · 10/07/2016 22:34

I must have odd friends because I've been a couple of these!
DH was a godfather, and the church ceremony was just parents, Aunts and uncles, grandparents and godparents, then there was a big BBQ and party back at their house afterwards (no presents from anyone other than godparents that I was aware of)

And one where their had been a religious ceremony a precious weekend with a small group of family, then an afternoon party where they had a short naming ceremony and party for friends and family
In that case, they only did the religious part to keep parents happy, and it could only be done on a particular weekend because of the church having other commitments, and that weekend didn't work for a party

I didn't think it was anything unusual at the time

muddypuddled · 10/07/2016 22:50

A friend of ours did this for both of their children. The church they were using to have their children christened in was very small so they had a small party after in the village hall kind of as a celebration for the child being born too. It wasn't a grabby bring presents party, just a nice get together for extended family and close friends.

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