So I hosted a surprise party for a close friend recently, as per a request from her other half. As I wasn't really willing to bank roll a party - at my house too - for a bunch of people I didn't know, I asked people to bring along some food or drink to contribute to the party. Trying to get people to actually confirm they were coming was a nightmare in the first place, and several of them who had promised to come, and bring certain items of food/drink with them, dropped out the day before, or even on the day. They didn't even message me to let me know - they messaged my friend's OH.
In the end I had around 12 people come, out of about 25 invited and confirmed until last minute. One of these was supposed to have brought a certain food (fairly critical to the party theme) with her but turned up completely empty-handed, although she'd splashed out on a new dress for the occasion. She tucked in to the food and drink with relish.
One of the guests was very ill on the day but had sent along the food and drink with one of the other guests, which I thought was very thoughtful of her, especially considering how ill she actually was.
When the party was about halfway through, several of the guests left together but before they did so, they gathered up every single sandwich/cake/mixer/bottle of alcohol leftover from what they'd brought. and took it home with them. I was just 
as I couldn't believe they would sit and eat/drink everything that other people had brought with them, bearing in mind that some items were more popular than others and so there weren't any leftovers of some things, and then gather up what they'd brought and take it away!
AIBU to be completely outraged at the behaviour of so many of these guests - both before and after the party? I was expecting to send all of the leftovers/booze etc home with my friend, as it was a party on her behalf. I just couldn't believe my eyes; I wouldn't dream of taking things home with me after a party unless it was demanded of me by the host? What is the usual party etiquette?
AIBU?
Party Etiquette? AIBU to be rather cheesed off?
CheesedOffChiquita · 10/07/2016 17:23
I think it's completely out of order to take food back unless the host insists.
I went to a BBQ last month and it was bring your own food so one couple decided that cause they had to travel a few hours to get there that their contribution would be 36 hot dog/burger rolls. They then continued to eat everyone meat.
I wouldn't mind but there was a Tesco express less then 5 mins drive from the BBQ. Or have they not heard of a cool bag??? It really grated with me 
I agree with Margaret. I have a relative that does this. She'd turn up with her bottle and hide it right at the back of the fridge/shelf. Have her fill and retrieve it on leaving. One time she bought some Pimms with her. I already had some. When it ran out I looked for hers but couldn't find it. I even asked her and she looked very puzzled. I gave up and forgot about it. At the end of the night Dh was seeing everyone out and she said she left something in the kitchen. Went into my cupboard and moved it from under a bag of pasta. I was outside smoking but saw this through the window. So I went inside just in time to see her leaving with it. I said to her "Ooh next time we'll drink yours first as it always goes walkies! Glad you found it. Enjoy!" She was 
I can relate, Husband and I were invited over to a Family members for dinner celebration. We brought lots of wine, beers and added extras dessert and nibbles...plenty for more people than invited just incase. We left everything - as you do - and a few days later were asked to fork out £80 for dinner... Because "steaks are expensive" and one (forced upon) glass of champagne.
The same couple invited their whole family over for a take away meal and even charged their own Grandmother for food.
When they go to anyone else's they never bring enough for everyone (6 guests planned in advance) they say they will do dessert and only bring 4 individual desserts. Not once but TWICE this has happened. Also on another occasion half eaten refrigerated food?!
Also I was told they invited others over for a steak dinner and just before they were due to arrive they asked them to "pick up their own steaks" on the way over. No shame.
You would be thinking they were hard up on cash but both have professional careers and love to brag a champagne lifestyle...Go figure?
Mumstheword - that's some brass neck your family members have! It is completely beyond my comprehension how anyone thinks that is an ok way to behave. I'd like to hope that you didn't pay them £80, but I bet you did, didn't you?
Newsletters you might like
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Op some of the party attendees sound horrid. Very tight, I can't imagine turning up empty handed or taking stuff home.
Admiral . Grabby showerzilla.
Tayto for a 70th I would have expected to pay my share of the bill and/or contribute towards birthday boy or girl. In dh's family, he shares the food bill with siblings and birthday person pays for drinks. I would not expect the host to foot the bill unless it was a buffet party thingy.
If we host overnight I'd expect a bottle of wine because that's a normal thank you in our circle of f+fs. We go to a lot of effort and expense and host because we live in a different city to our families. DH and I both have siblings that take home. It's rude unless offered.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.