DH thinks I am BU, every time I have tried to talk to him about it, he tells me I am being negative and dramatic.
FIL split up with his wife and decided to move home to the country where we live so he could be near us as he hasn't had much of a relationship with DH since he was a small boy and he has met our DC twice.
He moved in with us at the end of April while he found a job and a place to live. For some context, we are pretty hard up. We live in a 2 bed flat with 3 DC, two of which have complex SN. I can't work as I am a carer for them, and DH works long hours. We moved the DC out of their room and into ours on airbeds and in our bed so that he would have somewhere to sleep. This of course was very disruptive and difficult for our SN DC, but they adapted.
After he moved here, it became apparent that FIL had serious health problems that he had been ignoring for about a year. He is a workaholic and has worked himself almost to the point of dropping dead. Long hours, poor diet and stress have been contributory factors to his condition. DH and I sorted him out, forced him to go to the doctor and his health has improved lots. He has been very grateful.
He found a job, and immediately started working ridiculous hours again. But he really dragged his heels about finding somewhere to live, and it was very hard to get him to go on viewings or commit to anything.
Eventually he found a nice flat and put down a year in advance on his rent. Picked up the keys, bought all new furniture ... and is still here. All the stuff is still in flat packs round there, he's been in the place three times in the last month. DH and I have been over, putting together some of his furniture and making it feel homely. But the DC and their needs mean that this is a very slow process for us, and FIL has done nothing himself.
I have sorted out all his bills, there is no reason for him to still be living out of a suitcase and for my DCs not to have a room, but here he stays. On his days off he sits about looking at his phone or the TV rather than being proactive about moving. He's fit enough to work 72hours a week, but apparently not fit enough to put a flatpack together.
He has been very helpful with the DC, babysitting to give us respite, and has bought us shopping a few times, but we have burned through our admittedly meagre savings keeping him.
I have tried to get DH to have a gentle word, but he was hurt that I had mentioned it and thought I was unreasonable. I am very very stressed at the moment trying to sort out a special school place for DC2, so I may not be seeing this rationally, but no matter how kind, old, ill or lonely FIL is, he can't stay with us indefinitely and that he obviously doesn't want to go.
I feel horrible for having mentioned it at all to DH. Should I?