Is she taking the piss?

[invisiblecloak]

Have name changed. I have a friend who I used to spend a great deal of time with, we were in touch and saw a great deal of each other. Recently she got a boyfriend and now I see or hear very little from her (which I totally understand - she wants to spend time with the BF and I get that completely). I have been quite generous during our friendship, helping her out with favours, childcare, making meals, always providing the drinks and paying for takeaways etc. However the inches are becoming miles and the favours becoming more and more frequent, infact since she's become loved-up, the only time I hear from her now is to ask me for a favour. Its got to the point where I feel she's taking the piss. I can't go into detail incase this is spotted, but she asks for things above and beyond what a friend would do (house chores, mundane filing for her work that kind of thing), because she's busy. I've politely said no that I didn't have time, but now I think I'm being snubbed and I hear even less from her, I still want to stay friends with her, very much so, but I can't help feeling I'm being used and my generosity is being abused. AIBU?

Why on earth would you want to be friends with this person? You are totally right in thinking she is taking the piss, she clearly doesn't see you as a friend, but a doormat!

Run as fast as you can away from this woman and cut all ties. Friends don't do that to each other.

No no no. Please just drop this user. Why would you continually do something for someone else when you are so obviously unappareciated and not treated like a friend?

Why DO you want to stay friends with her?
If it's always been so one-sided, what benefit does she bring to your life?
Just let things go the way they're going - she'll either value you for who you are, rather than what you can do for her, and she'll still be your friend; or she'll drop you like a hot potato when she realises that you're not going to be put upon any longer.

two words I'd use to or for this person and second one is off!

I would even say to her and be quite firm about it "what sort of friend do you think I am if you ask me to do household chores and work filing for you?"

even ask her if she'd do the same to you re asking.

two words I'd use to or for this person and second one is off!

I would even say to her and be quite firm about it "what sort of friend do you think I am if you ask me to do household chores and work filing for you?"

even ask her if she'd do the same to you re asking.

I had a friend like this. My only excuse for putting up with her shit is that I was very young and daft.

Don't bother with people like this OP. Learn to say 'no'.

Looks like she has ditched you since you said no. it's hard knowing that you aren't useful to her if you aren't being her helper but you live and learn

You are all so right, it really puts things into perspective writing it down.

She is good fun, we get on well, have similar outlooks on life, she has been a good listener. We've both gone through a tough time recently and were a good support for each other. Only the support seems to be a bit more one sided these days. I do feel a bit guilty because she doesn't have a lot of support elsewhere, (but in saying that, neither do I and I don't need to ask for favours every five minutes). I guess also I don't really have a lot of friends, close friends, (ones who you can sit and do nothing/chat shit/watch tv with iyswim) so didn't want to lose this one because ,in all honesty, we do have a laugh (well, we did before BF, never see her anymore).

I seem to have form for letting people taking the piss out of my generosity and I've promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again. I think I've just woken up and smelt the coffee.

I had to check this wasn't a bump of a very similar thread I wrote a while ago about my 'best friend'.
Long story short...we're now passing acquaintances. Sorry.

Yes she is Royally taking the piss. You're not there at her beck and call, and nor are you a toy to be played with and dropped whenever she feels like. Tell her to FOTTOSOFOAWSGTTHTFOSM.

Now you've stopped doing her favours, you'll have time to make new friends . Or see how the wind blows when you ask for a favour .....

It is lovely that you are the type of person who does favours, OP, please don't lose that quality just because there are some takers in this world. Your friend is a fool to lose a good friend like you just because she has a boyfriend, IMHO.