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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not let husband put picture of a scull on living room wall?

60 replies

twirlywoo69 · 09/07/2016 11:24

Husband ace and we make joint decisions of most house stuff. He has seen a print of a drawing of a big black scull and wants to buy it to put on living room wall. I think it's horrid and dark and it's just not my taste at all (other prints in the house are of bright flowers!) I feel bad saying he can't have it but I really don't want it in the house as it doesn't go with anything, I've said no but feel bad.. AUBU?... or selfish? I just really don't like it!

OP posts:
CrowyMcCrowFace · 09/07/2016 12:10

I have skulls, bats & scary book/movie posters everywhere Grin.

One of the dc objected to a picture because it was 'creepy' & I removed it from the living room - it's now in my dressing room where she doesn't need to see it every day.

It's a shared space so we have to all like it, is my view. Or at least be able to live with stuff.

Having said that, if you get to veto Yorick, he gets to veto your flowers?

toadgirl · 09/07/2016 12:13

YANBU.

Maybe he could show you lots of stuff he'd like on the wall and you two could go through it together?

Also, give him the opportunity to veto something you have on the wall that he secretly hated all along so that it's a fair deal.

The reason I think YANBU is because it's not merely not your type of thing but that it's "horrid and dark". I have taken from that (correct me if I'm wrong) that you feel a bit disturbed by it? In that case, I think it's too much to expect you to have that on the wall.

I am quite sensitive to stuff like this. I can't watch horror films as I'll be up all night/have nightmares. Can hardly watch the news these days! I've seen people with war scenes on the wall - in the olden days, these paintings were popular. Horses dying with spears in them. Also, someone I knew had elephant ornaments. The elephants were all crying. Made me feel terribly depressed just looking at them, as it made me think of the ivory trade.

If you feel that way at all, I'm sure your husband will understand and you'll reach some sort of compromise.

metimeisforwimps · 09/07/2016 12:18

DH and I have quite different taste, the rule is that we both have to like something for it to be on display, so by that rule, the skull would not be allowed!

XiCi · 09/07/2016 12:21

I would have no qualms whatsoever in saying no, I'm not having a picture of a skull on my living room wall

There's millions of paintings, prints, photographs etc out there. I'm sure you can find something for your living space that you both love

Naoko · 09/07/2016 12:29

If you dislike it that much it'd not be fair to have it in the living room, where presumably you'd have to look at it quite a lot. But is there anywhere in the house he spends a lot more time than you do? I have a study DP doesn't use except when we're both watching TV in there, so anything that appeals to me but not him lives in there.

murasaki · 09/07/2016 12:31

I have a sheep's brain in a jar in my living room, so am possibly not best placed to judge, but could you not just put it somewhere else?

DP got his mate to paint a picture of a clown that we had seen in a photo exhibition on holiday and he had taken a pic of. I convinced him that the top of the stairs is the best place, so I don't really have to notice it, and it freaks out guests. win win.

murasaki · 09/07/2016 12:32

Nb, mate is a brilliant painter, it's just a bit disturbing...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/07/2016 12:35

I think if he has an office or a den then it would be fine for him to put up whatever he likes there. DH has a home office and he chooses his own artwork for it (except for the giant photo of 3 green tree frogs that I got for him, but he likes that anyway).

I have more say in the main house, because I spend more time there than he does (SAHM) - but I wouldn't have anything up that the really didn't like. That wouldn't be fair.

clam · 09/07/2016 12:35

I feel your pain. Dh and I have battled over pictures for years. Every now and again he'll say, "Right, let's go and get something for that wall in the dining room," with a distinct air of some sort of threat. I don't think you can just go and and pick something for the sake of it. I prefer to stumble across something and think, "oh yes, that'd look nice in the ...whatever."

Or, he'll scroll through art studio websites and say, "There, what about that?" when I'm just not in the mood. So I say "hmm," or "not sure" and he harrumphs and says that I "never" like anything he likes.

God knows how we've clocked up 21 years of marriage.

peggyundercrackers · 09/07/2016 12:52

Yep, if he hates the pictures. Though OP hasn't said they're her pics, I don't think.

but if you extrapolate what OP has said ;) - I think it's horrid and dark and it's just not my taste at all (other prints in the house are of bright flowers!), but I really don't want it in the house as it doesn't go with anything - you could assume she picked the bright prints to go with the rest of the décor in the house...

look if someone came on here and said her DH wasn't letting her put pics up in her house where she wanted people would be screaming he was controlling...

1frenchfoodie · 09/07/2016 12:53

Depends on the merits of the pic and whether you think it could grow on you. If DH has compromised with the flowers it could be nice reciprocation but not if you hate it given you'd see every day. So I think YNBU.

MatildaTheCat · 09/07/2016 12:57

No way would I have any paintings in my sitting room that I didn't actively love. Would he compromise with getting a copy of Damian Hirst's diamond skull for display? Grin Real diamonds, obviously.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 09/07/2016 13:20

YABU.

I can see 4 Star Wars prints and 1 of Smaug from where I'm sitting.

Suck it up. It's just a skull. We all have one. Weird to reject it as creepy.

Original poster
twirlywoo69 · 09/07/2016 13:25

I'm still thinking about it.. In the grand scheme of life it's not a big deal is it? But I just know when it's up I will hate it and wish it wasn't there and know that I have only let him buy it to please him.

OP posts:
Judydreamsofhorses · 09/07/2016 13:28

Personally, I think not for the living room if you don't agree on it. My DP has a painting in the spare room which I really don't like - he uses that room as an office-come-den, and I rarely go in, so that's fine. If he wanted to switch it to the living room I wouldn't be keen.

Newmanwannabe · 09/07/2016 14:23

No way would that be up in my house. Maybe my DH could put it in his wardrobe or the garage but no the the rest of the house. Just no

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/07/2016 14:31

I'm a fan of skulls. I have many ornamenty things with skulls on, I have wine glasses held in skeletal hands. I have a plaster skull that holds my headphones.

I don't like that picture though and I wouldn't want it in my house - it's just a bit too creepy (I know that's not the exact one, but if it's close to that, then no).

I have seen other pictures of skulls that I do quite like - but that ain't one of them.

Does he have anywhere in the house to call his own space? Or, man-shed maybe? He could put it there...

Incitatus · 09/07/2016 14:38

Skulls are useful. They hold your teeth, eyes and brain. We all have one.

Let your dh have the picture if he likes it.

JassyRadlett · 09/07/2016 14:39

look if someone came on here and said her DH wasn't letting her put pics up in her house where she wanted people would be screaming he was controlling

Well I wouldn't be one of them. I'd be saying 'choose pictures (and wider house decor!) you both bloody like.'

Two X chromosomes do not bequeath a greater right to choose the way the house looks, and neither partner should have to live with anything they really dislike. And if they can't find a way to communicate that to each other, they have wider problems.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 09/07/2016 14:40

if someone came on here and said her DH wasn't letting her put pics up in her house where she wanted people would be screaming he was controlling

You'd get about 3 people saying this, everyone else is pretty normal and rational.

LynetteScavo · 09/07/2016 15:23

If it doesn't go with your decor it can't go up.

OooLookShoes · 09/07/2016 15:23

I like that picture

Reminds me of my favourite mug.

BUT...

DH hates my skull fetish / obsession (as he calls it) so we do compromise on no skulls/ skull ornaments/ skull pictures in shared spaces. They go in my corner of the office, in the downstairs bog ( to creep visitors out) or the come to work with me.

clam · 09/07/2016 15:41

Are you all insane???? Shock
That's the worst picture for a house I've ever seen in my life! No WAY would it even make its way over the doorstep in my house.

TroysMammy · 09/07/2016 15:42

I think it's ok as a smallish print but not a massive picture over a fireplace.

SistersOfPercy · 09/07/2016 15:43

I actually love it, but my tastes are quirky anyway. We have this print on our lounge wall (it's a signed Shephard Fairey and huge), fortunately DH likes it and the other Fairey prints we have, if he didn't I don't think he'd tell me as he's very much the type to 'put up with it' if he knows I love something (whereas I wish he'd just tell me!)
We have had comments on it from friends and family, I usually joke it's there to remind DH of his place Grin

To not let husband put picture of a scull on living room wall?
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