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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it REALLY normal for committed men to check out other women?

33 replies

Silvermockingbird · 09/07/2016 02:02

Just that really. I hate Facebook, if OH is flicking through suggested friends and sees a good looking woman, he'll click and look through a few of her photos. He does this all the time. Never adds them or anything just has a look. Nevertheless this does hurt me a lot- as I'm very self conscious about the way I look at the moment, people who I've asked usually tell me the whole" all men look, it's natural" ..I don't check out other men. I only really have an interest for him. I know he is still very much Inlove with me and shows me so much affection- maybe I am over reacting to this because the negative feelings I have on my own appearance.. Opinions?

OP posts:
branofthemist · 09/07/2016 10:34

To flick through Facebook photos and at all is out of order. The fact that he doesn't care that you know is a fucking insult.

really? Facebook photos are there for people to look at. And where does the OP say that he knows she knows or doesn't care that it bothers her?

OnionKnight · 09/07/2016 10:37

YABU for spying on him.

I flick through suggested friends occasionally and I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I'm happily married.

Sallystyle · 09/07/2016 10:41

I have never seen my husband check out another woman. Of course he must do it, being human and all, but it's not something he has ever made obvious in front of me. Same as he has never seen me do it.

I have checked out people's FB photos, I don't see much wrong with it. He didn't do it around you. I go through people's profiles, I'm not creepy. I don't go looking for profiles of handsome men but I have looked through people's photos before.

I don't think your partner has done anything wrong OP. I wouldn't like to see it either, so I don't go through his stuff looking for trouble. You have no right to spy on him. I get your trust issues but you can't invade his privacy unless you have a real reason to suspect he is cheating on you.

Pearlman · 09/07/2016 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkheart5915 · 09/07/2016 11:33

Noticing an attractive woman having a little look, nothing wrong with that They might be committed but that doesn't mean they can never find another woman attractive.

I am committed to DH but if I see a good looking guy I am going to look

Snowflakes1122 · 09/07/2016 13:08

If that's the worst you can find on his phone, then I wouldn't worry.

It's not dating sites or hook up sites.

I also look up old people from school when I'm bored-male and female for no other reasons than being nosey. Ivbet my dh does it too, but I don't snoop.

You need to address your trust issues-is it something from the past or your current relationship that makes you feel like spying on him?

TowerRose · 09/07/2016 21:03

I see nothing wrong with noticing if people in the street or whatever, and having a quick glance. I think it's also normal to nose through people's pictures who are actually your friends.

But I do think perving through some random persons pictures is overstepping a mark.

dizzyfucker · 09/07/2016 21:16

I check out facebook profiles of men much more than women. Men interest me more. I also just watched an ex dressed as superman, giving a lecture on a YouTube video. Just seeing if he's still hot he is I'm very happy in my marriage.

Well considering humans are animals and animals weren't designed to be committed to someone but to reproduce with as many others as possible.

Actually this applies to many animals but several species of wild dogs, gibbon apes and humans are monogamous by nature.

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