To wonder why when choosing a school parents go for the easiest option despite it not always being the best choice for their kids.

[Jackpack]

My Ds is due to start high school in September. We put down a catholic school with a great reputation, good feel to it and with excellent ofsted reports and results and for our second choice we put down an equally good community school, both around 2.5 miles away. My Ds does go to Catholic primary so he'll move up with the majority of his friends, most of whom live closer to the school but he'll also have kids in his year that live close by to us as one of our local primaries is a feeder to the secondary, so making friends local shouldn't be a problem.

The reason I chose these two schools is quite simple, the rest in our town are diabolical, in every way imaginable. I wouldn't ever want my child to go there and if we'd have been allocated one of these schools then I'd have quit my job to joke school him. That's how bad they are! So, there are I think seven children in our street in the same year as my Ds so they are going to secondary as well this year. Each of their parents have chosen one of the failing schools to send them to and two of my friends, and a family member have chosen to do the same.

Obviously it is their choice to send their child to whichever school they like but why on earth they have chosen these schools i don't know, but then it dawned on me, because it's easier for them, the parents not the child I mean.

Sending their kids to the nearest school means they won't have to get up early and drive them to school. One of my friends was on Facebook recently raving that she can stay in bed longer come September as she won't have to take her child to school. I mean come on. I realise that a lot of kids do go local and there are certainly advantages to that including walking with friends etc but what's more important, thier kids get to walk to school with friends or that they get a better education. If all the schools in the area are equally as good then o can see why parents would want their kids to go to the local school, but when they're all exceptionally bad why not try for a better school slightly further away. It's just seems like laziness to me.

My opinion isn't 'crap', Catholic schools are part funded by the Catholic Church and hence they do have an agenda. I don't think that the dogma and extreme views of the Catholic Church have any place in a school setting, that is just my opinion. I can give you examples of the things which wrer and may well be presented to your child in a Catholic school if you like!!

You have to ask how much difference it actually makes between going to an OK school and a great one. Maybe the kids who go to a great school would do almost as well going to an OK one. This is a tricky question for researchers who study this kind of thing to answer. There are ethical and practical problems with randomly assigning kids to schools, as you'd like to do to answer this kind of question. But it's not as obvious as you might think.

There's also the fact that sending kids to less convenient or more expensive schools has an opportunity cost, for the kids and the parents. Is it better to go to a slightly worse school and do another extracurricular activity or get slightly more sleep? Again, it's not clear.

Comparing schools is tricky, too. If you don't know that the kids are at the same levels when they start at two schools, you can't meaningfully compare progress directly.

There's also the fact that not everybody wants the same things from schools. I might want socioeconomic and racial diversity, someone else might not want that. I might want a good arts program, someone else might want more focus on reading and math. I might want religious instruction, someone else might not, or might want a different flavor of religious instruction.

People have different values. Over my dead body would my children go to a faith school

Nah not at all. Don't get me wrong I believe in God but I only go to church when the kids need to go, which isn't often.

You don't need to give me any examples thanks. I spent a year volunteering in the school back when I was only working part time. So know all about what they do. All of the kids there seem happy bright children, including my own. What's so wrong with that. Do you really think they are chained to their desks all day reading from the bible.

Nobody has said that your child has to go to a faith school. But I'd be interested to know if you knew anything of faith schools, first hand that is, to have made you come to that conclusion.

You're just obviously a much better person than all your friends OP.

And not a martyr, at all.

I am not Christian. I don't want my children going to a school where they are going to get Christian religious instruction. I don't want my kids getting any religious instruction other than in my faith, or a comparative religion class where religions are taught but no religion is promoted. That's a deal breaker for me. Can you understand why I might feel that way?

It costs me nothing to send my children to ther school though. Yes I currently drive to school but I go to work that way with a minor detour. So in actual fact it costs me probably an extra £3-£4 a week in petrol which is nothing. My eldest will need a bus ticket once a day to come home from school but the LA do a discount scheme which means it'll cost me £5 a week which is very reasonable.

Anyway, if everyone wanted to go to "your" school it's possible your kids wouldn't get a place. A perfect school for one child might be failing another.

A catholic school would never be on my shortlist. A hugely academic one might be, but a musical one will be, even if it is academically weaker than others. For me, distance is also very important, the ability to have friends round and access their sports clubs and musical tuition after school without a round the world trip is important to me.

Your priorities are different, but I wouldn't call them lazy, I'd expect you to be as courteous.

But who has said that you, as a none Christian has to send your child to a faith school? I've certainly not said that. You're just putting words into my mouth here. To the martyr comments. How am I so? I opted for a good school for my children that is a mere two and a bit miles away from my home. I chose it because it was a a viable option with us being Catholic but like I said the community school was just as good and I'd have been happy with that. I'd still be writing the same pair of my Ds had got into the community school so let's just dispense with the argument over faith schools shall we, there's just no need for it.

I'm not saying everyone should apply to go to "my" school. If parents don't want their child to go to faith school then that's their choice. The question was why would parents purposely chose (not just be allocated) to send their child to a failing school.

Honestly op, you just sound so awful. My children go to state secondary schools in South East London which have pretty average results for London schools so I know there is no chance your precious offspring are there and for that I am profoundly grateful . The children of parents with thoughts as poisonous and judgemental as yours are very unlikely to be good friendship material are they?

Secondary school kids want to go to local schools. They want to be able to meet up with their friends easily outside of school and at the weekends. They don't want to be driven everywhere, they want to be independent. I think you might have a bit of a shock just around the corner op.

I'm being called honest for saying how I truly feel. Do you not realise that parents have opinions, all the time. It's just that some parents have the nerve to voice them. I'm not trying to come across as mean but you're all making me out to be.

Yes but that was YOUR experience, I imagine some time ago, yes? Do you really think that faith schools, or just schools in general would act in such a way in now? I went to a catholic school and it was nothing at all like yours. Yes we did a couple of prayers a day and we did a few assembles each year but you know what, I had so much fun. I had great friends, loved my teachers, well most of them, and in general came out with an open mind being able to chose what I wanted to believe. Same with my husband who went to the same school as me. He's a well rounded happy person and isn't scarred from Catholic education. Just because your experience was rubbish don't just assume everyone else's is.

Best to keep extremely judgemental opinions to yourself sometimes I think, op. Especially when they make you seem rigid/unimaginative/smug and unpleasant.

What exactly is your agenda / motive for starting this thread?

If you had read my post properly

Maybe you could take the time to write your posts properly?

She can't. She's not very bright, as she's demonstrated amply, over and over again.

When I chose the secondary school for my DS we loved it when we looked round. We applied, got a place and then the school went into special measures. DS still went there as the ethos fitted what we wanted, all his friends were going and he wanted to go. Others were shocked that we sent him to such a crap school.
Now they are the 3rd best school in the county, had 5 out of 60 students going to Oxbridge last year and the 6th form is the top one in the county and the school is in the top 20 nationally.
We had faith in the teachers and the head and it paid off.

Secondary school, we are lucky all the schools around here are very good - I gave my dcs the choice, they chose the closest where all their friends were going, it's an excellent school. Happiness is pretty important to us, they are settled and working hard. Alternatives included a church school - neither dc wanted to endure this, they would find the compulsory worship as torturous as I did.

My dc go to the closest schools, they happen to be the best in the county and also the best for them aswell. We have no hesitations in moving them in the future if it becomes necessary to do so

Op, you do know that Ofsted inspections are every 3 years? So that Good/Outstanding school might not be anymore? Especially as the goalposts change so much. A "failing" school will get so much support and intervention, it could be better than a school which has just got a better grading and is resting on it's laurels. You need to find the best fit for your child.
Also, you have no idea that these parents chose their dc's school based on convenience, you have no idea of their rationale. So, just worry about your own child and stop faux worrying about others as it makes you look like a bit of a dick. Their parents may have just chosen the best fit for their children.

I think we realise that parents have opinions all the time. We don't all call our friends and family lazy for having a different option to us.
Ds1 went to a grammar- and yes he worked hard in yr5 to get the high result he needed to attend his school (has been times school of the year). He loved his school and it was perfect for him- he's planning on staying for sixth form.

Ds2 goes to our nearest school, he didn't like the feel of the grammar and preferred his school.

Dd disliked the grammar and gave some very good reasons for going into the local comp. She had her transition day today and loved it.

I am so looking forward to two years time when I can lie in until 730 and make my life so much easier. I'm definitely a lazy parent choosing the worse (on paper) school for two of my dc

My advice is to stop behaving as though you are so much better than the other parents as you really have no idea of their reasons. They probably don't want to make you seem even more of a dick by telling you why their thought process was probably more in depth than yours. Trust me, I've been there a few times.