To think I've massively fucked up and not know what to do?

[SeriousCreativeBlock]

LONG, sorry.
Okay so full disclosure I have anxiety, bipolar, and an autoimmune disease. I also have a 3.5 year old DD and study at university. My mental disorders mean that sometimes I struggle with speaking to people I deem to be authority figures, and I get panicky over important emails etc.

My personal tutor at university seems to not like me at all, so I'm reluctant to go to her over this. When I tried to inform her about my autoimmune disease, she stated that it was not an excuse for "lack of engagement" in lectures.

Exam results came out yesterday. I've done way better than expected (mostly high 2:1s) BUT the system is saying that I haven't handed in 3 pieces of coursework. In actual fact, it's one piece of coursework I haven't handed in and that's because my computer hard drive died right before I was due to hand it in. Took it to PC world and they've been useless and unable to retrieve any data. In any case, the university don't accept computer issues as a reason for non-submission.

It's not that essay I'm bothered about, as I know that it's my fault and I've learned the hard way now to back up my files. It''s the other two that I put weeks of work into, lost a ridiculous amount of sleep over, and 100% HANDED THEM IN.

Anyway, so despite doing really well in my exams, I can't pass this year. I know I need to email someone but every time I think of emailing my personal tutor, I have panic attacks.

So my aibu I guess is AIBU to not know what to do and to try to find someone other than my PT to contact?

My biggest fear is being told that I have to withdraw from the university, which would be terrible as I'm in the 3rd year of a 4 year course. Or that I can retake but I'd have to take a year out and I know student finance won't fund me to do that.

If they were submitted in January surely you would have been expect to receive a grade long before now (typically 4 weeks after submission and the resit date would have been and gone also) I'm confused as to how this has only just come to light?

If you don't want to see your tutor can you speak with the lecturer for the modules that the assignments were for?

You sound like you have a lot on your plate and I sympathise but you do also seem rather muddled up and disorganised too? You need to get access to your email so you can check for those receipts as a first priority as without those you may have to redo all 3

If it sends an email receipt, then the sent email will be on their system as well as in yours.

Don't overthink or blame yourself; just try to follow up as a mistake on their part that you need to sort out. Try to get access to the email account in a different way -- contact the provider or something.

Also, have you formally made someone aware of your mental health/immune issues, apart from your personal tutor? Again, this would probably come under the remit of Student Services.

OP, There's good advice from CarrotVan above.

There will definitely be a receipt somewhere in the system. Put a query on your IT help desk is such a thing exists, and write your personal tutor right away.

It may be possible that you think you submitted the work but failed to upload it correctly. Even if this is the case, you will be probably be allowed to resubmit those bits of work with a capped mark. You won't fail for this, it is actually really hard to fail out uni (or at least the uni I teach at). You may also want to find out if your school has a designated tutor who supports students with disabilities. This person may be more approachable.

I am very muddled and disorganised; an annoying feature of being bipolar is that I struggle to organise my thoughts and struggle with concentration in manic episodes. Part of my anxiety is that I don't tend to look at my grades for essays until I absolutely have to (end of the year). Which doesn't make any sense because I tend to do consistently well.

Student support is a good call, I'll contact them now. Thanks everyone.

Also, have you formally made someone aware of your mental health/immune issues, apart from your personal tutor? Again, this would probably come under the remit of Student Services.

In informing the tutor she has disclosed and put the University on notice. It's then the responsibility of the tutor to refer her to Disability Support. If that hasn't happened then the tutor is at fault and the University is in breach of its duties under the Equalities Act.

After I told my PT, she asked for a doctor note. I got one from my doctor, but it was a "fit note" which wasn't really appropriate, and then in further correspondence she stated that my disability was not an excuse for lack of engagement/attendance unless I was physically going to an appointment. The realities of my disability are that i get joint inflammation and so some days i experience so much pain I can't move much. This discouraged me from ever mentioning my disability again, or asking for mitigating circumstances for exams, but I did well regardless.

I'm really sorry and I know this is stressful but you need to take more responsibility for organising yourself better.

Your laptop died and you have no backup (very back luck). Locked out of e-mail account (don't you keep a note of password hints?). E-mail account registered to old phone you no longer have. No-one in the uni can contact you because you haven't sorted out your e-mail account or even opened a new one temporarily and provided them with the details. You haven't been in touch with your PT since January. Paperwork in your house disorganised.

I'm not clear whether you definiely have receipts but just can't access them due to the locked e-mail account, or whether you're not sure you got receipts (since you say you think the problem was you, not them).

Please don't panic, as I'm sure this can be sorted out. But you're going to have to take some responsibility in organising yourself. And, you are going to have to communicate with the university, and in particular your tutor. They can't sort anything out for you unless you communicate with them.

You say you don't think that your PT likes you. Honestly it really doesn't matter whether they like you or not, that's not what they're there for. They're there to provide support to you when you need it. Doesn't matter whether they'd be good conversation down the pub or not.

Now, e-mail your PT. Don't try to e-mail about everything all at once. Just make a start by communicating about one particular issue. I don't know what exactly you need to say but something like, "Dear PT. Two assignments which I did submit have not been registered as having been submitted. I am going to obtain further copies / obtain the receipts, and will submit these as soon as possible. Will they still be marked and count towards my end of year results? Kind regards, Serious."

Then sort out how to access your e-mail account. There must be a way. And find someone else to look at retrieving data from your computer.

*effects not realities, no idea where that came from.

Sounds very hard for you I hope you can access some better support through uni to help you manage these issues and avoid similar problems. If it's turnitin you should be able to see your essay and feedback still if it was successfully submitted, have you looked on there?

I'd delete the system name unless you want everyone to know where you study. As far as I know it's bespoke to that University and is a bridging system between the VLE (moodle) and the student information system (SITS)

If you log into that system you should be able to see what pieces of coursework you've submitted and when. The email receipt will have gone to your University email account so if you can't access that you can contact the IT Service Desk in the Library (or by phone or online)

I think the best place to go and find someone to talk all this through with would be someone at student support.
That's exactly what they're there for - especially to support students with additional needs such as mental health and physical challenges.
Uni's nearly always have a great group of staff working in student support for just this sort of situation - my friend has a job like this and was telling me all about it.
They can prepare you to talk with your PT and go through what you might say and what likely options are from here.
Good luck!

sorry my post doen't sound very sympathetic. I am, honestly! Just sometimes life throws these things at us and you have to just tackle them one bit at a time, and made some adjustments so that it doesn't happen again. I do hope you get some support to get it sorted.

Sorry misread your post it's not turnitin. Carrot is right that system identified your uni very quickly

Serious - you should have been referred to Disability Support Services (you can self-refer as well) as your conditions are chronic and ongoing. You need to access this support for next year as they can help you manage your deadlines etc if that's a necessary reasonable adjustment

Mitigating circumstances are used only for unforeseen and unpreventable things like a sudden flare-up of an existing condition, a bereavement or an accident.

There should be a disability officer for your university or college; try to make contact with them to get appropriate support. Your student union may also be a source of information and help.

Serious for what it's worth I spend much of my day job unpicking exactly this sort of issue for students and putting it right. It can be all sorted and if you get on to it quickly you can re-submit in the August assessment period if you need to

Ahhh how do I go about deleting that?! And I can't remember if I was referred or not, but I remember her suggesting disability services. No formal contact was ever made though.

Thank you all for your advice, especially posters who have experience with university stuff. You've all made me feel a lot calmer (I was expecting a serious flaming!)

Click on the report link - top right of the relevant post

CarrotVan, thank you so much. You advice has been brilliant. I have a plan now at least!

Agree with PP who said I'm catastrophising; I'm very good at that.

I used to get locked out of my uni email regularly because we had to change the password every 12 weeks or so. Nobody told us this, it was one of the many things that we had to get from word of mouth. All you do is email IT services from your personal email or ring them.

If you have handed in your work through your uni system, your receipt is in your email account. But, you don't need your email to access your essays. They can be accessed through turnitin (Equivalence). Just go to the bit where you handed it in, you can print it off from there too.

Don't worry about deleting it - focus on getting the main issue sorted!