Standing up for myself and now dying a little.

[icanteven]

We're having an extension built over the next couple of months. Permitted development etc. Mentioned it to overbearing neighbour who has form for speaking to me like I'm a child and she asked to see the plans. I don't really have a lot of choice, because when you apply for permitted development the council contacts the neighbours anyway, so she was going to see them sooner or later, and I don't mind going through the motions of being civil, even though she is obnoxious (she's a retired professor, and can't quite seem to shake the idea that I'm a first year who hasn't turned up to a single tutorial).

I said I'd email them this week. I work full time, and am flat out finishing a huge project this week, and hadn't got around to it yet.

She saw me on the street coming back from school run and peremptorily shouted at me from getting into her car "SEND THAT EMAIL!" - I paused in surprise, and she followed it up with "NOW!" and got into her car and drove off. Neighbour parent who was walking with me was horrified, I was mortified.

I sent the plans to her and other neighbours in one group email, and then took a deep breath and emailed her separately to tell her that I was "surprised to be spoken to in such a brusque manner today - is everything all right?".

Now of course, I'm terrified to check my email in case she replies. She's been speaking to me like this for 7 years. It's a miracle I haven't lost my cool with her before.

I don't think I was being unreasonable, right?

#chickenshit

[ssd]

rude cow!

dont lose your nerve now op!

[EarthboundMisfit]

Good on you!

[memyselfandaye]

You are a LOT more restrained than me, I would have asked her who the fuck she was bellowing at.

Fucking cheeky cow.

[Memoires]

Peremptory Pillock! having retired she's got no one to boss about any more so you're it. Bad luck.

Well done for standing up for yourself. I hope she takes pause and replies apologetically.

[AnneElliott]

Good on you op. I know how hard it can be to stand up for yourself when people behave unreasonably!

[UnGoogleable]

Good for you, don't let the bossy old cowbag get the better of you.

Be prepared for her to object to every little thing in those plans you sent...

[Fluffyears]

She'd be getting nothing from me.

[EsmeraldaEllaBella]

Did you get a reply yet op?

[ABCAlwaysBeCunting]

Crikey, you were much more polite than I would have been.

[Religieuse]

I think you responded in an extremely mild manner, and have absolutely no reason to feel cowed or apologetic in anticipating her response.

I'd be asking myself in your shoes why precisely you seem to be so frightened of her, and why you've allowed someone to hector you for years - why is it only now you have felt able to assert yourself (slightly!) around her? Are you someone who finds it difficult to assert yourself in general?