to hate giving lifts

[Didyoumeantobesorude1]

I know I shouldn't be so mean but it makes me so cross. One couple in particular, neither of them can drive and they just ask suddenly for a lift to various events and then dominate the conversation for an hour while we get there.

I'm a non-driver but hate accepting lifts, I'd always much rather get somewhere under my own steam. I also get anxious about time keeping and prefer to keep to my own schedule instead of relying on anyone else.

I like my car time as my own time, and don't like sharing much. I'm pretty good at excuses now 'oh the car is already packed for going away this weekend', 'I'm stopping off at a friend's on the way home', 'I'm meeting someone for coffee first'.

There should be some sort of online dating for lift givers/takers as I can't drive (not allowed to learn/drive for health reasons) and am extremely grateful every time I'm given a lift, will give petrol money, buy presents for regular lift givers, chat or not chat depending on driver's preference and try never to impose/take the piss. I may be losing out on lift offers based on other people's piss taking nature so there should be a way to distinguish yourself as a better class of lift taker

Pearlylum thats completely different.Of course you give your mother and kids a lift but not free loading friends all the time.Its not the same thing at all.

I absolutely love giving people lifts. I feel guilty about polluting every single time I get in my car, and giving someone a lift soothes my guilt...

I don't bother with excuses for persistent piss-takers. Most of my friends are good enough to return the favour if I give them lefts. Nobody takes advantage.

For those that do, Liverpool defender Tommy Smith wrote about having to teach Graeme Souness a lesson soon after the latter joined the club.

First day after training he asked me "Can I borrow your hair dryer, Tommy?". "Help yourself," I said. The next day he asked again. "No problem," I said, and gave it to him. The third day he came and said "Can I borrow your hair dryer?". "No, you bloody can't," I said. "You get paid for being here, like everybody else - buy your own fucking hair dryer".

I've used that once or twice, substituting "sort your own fucking transport out" for "buy your own fucking hair dryer".

I have utmost sympathy for you op, my DH drives (I don't, botched knee replacement and hand control lessons and adaptations are too expensive) people take the Mickey all the time, I also hate getting lifts as I'm a bit nervous in cars and have offended people by wincing, flinching etc. I baby wear now so I get to use the "sorry no car seat" excuse.

I'm offered lifts back from the school run (30 minute walk) seems rude to say no all the time so mostly I say yes just because when I decline they look disappointed. But I never ask and most of the time would rather walk

Money that used to happen to me too before we moved. I found it a bit embarrassing as I worried that they might feel obliged to offer all the time...so sometimes, I'd say I needed to get the bus as I was going past home and into town.

If you'd rather walk, can't you just say that you're doing it for your health and it is your exercise time?

YANBU. I hate giving people lifts and get really irritated when im driving and not drinking for whatever reason and all the pissed up friends think its ok for me to drop them home, here, there and everywhere. Grumpy old git alert I'm afraid!

I dont like giving lifts either. I do on some occasions obviously. When Im in the car I like to listen to my music loud and have a good old sing song. Its the only time Im ever any good at singing. I dont even like DH being in the car because then I can't listen to what I want. My car time is me time.

Im also another who likes walking and have refused lifts in the past.

One occasion though I couldn't refuse was to FIL. Me and DH were living at the in-laws (before marriage and DCs) for a while and I used to walk to and from work. It was a 45 min walk each way which I really enjoyed. Anyway one day I was coming home and was literally around the corner from the house and FIL was coming home from work and insisted on giving me the lift the rest of the way. It took more time for me to get in the car and for him to pull out again and then get out of the car than it would have done if I had just carried on walking.

It drives me nuts driving out of our estate when you see people you know walking. You have to offer a lift or you look like a cow.

I used to walk to work, in preference of driving myself or getting the bus about 80% of the time. I would drive or get the bus if I didn't fancy walking.

Lots of people from work lived my direction of town and would stop to offer lifts - I used to say "thats lovely to ask, thanks, but i'm enjying the exercise"

After a while people stopped but then would come up to me in work and say "I saw you walking, but I didn't stop becase I know you like walking" - guess they were protecting themselves from me thinking they were rude for not stopping!

"... but they ask for example at a meal where we are surrounded by all our other friends. Some of whom also give them lifts quite a lot without apparently minding"

And the important word there is 'apparently'. They (the other friends) probably think you don't mind giving lifts if you've hidden that you do. Maybe all of you hate giving lifts to this pair.

What's the worse that could happen if you said 'no'? Surely they'd just turn to the other friends, given that they're already there, and ask them?

I hate giving lifts and just say no.

Tell them you are not sure of your plans that day/evening so you can't commit, they will have to make other arrangements. Tell them you are getting a bus/train/walking and will see them there.

Or just tell them you are making savings and no longer wish to ferry other people around to save them the expense/bother of driving.

Unless they are lovely like mod then you should say yes

What really annoys me is the pisstakers at work who ask for a lift despite living 3 queue-filled miles in the wrong direction and say "I don't drive." You mean you won't or can't and are too cheap to run a car. I just say I'm not queueing for an extra 6 miles at rush hour.

If they live in the opposite direction or aren't actually on your way i don't see the problem with just saying "no sorry I don't have time today".

And say that every day

Hi
Sorry to jump in I'm new on ere and haven't figured it all out yet!
Just need some advice
So I have a friend a few lifts few weeks ago long distance and she didn't offer me any petrol and I didn't mind at first I till she begged me to drive her to London and back
I said no at first cz I hat driving in London bt she begged until I just couldn't say no!
As I was taking her she tld me she's show me the quickest way as my tomtom was taking us a longer route and she was worried she'd miss my appt. we reached near and she asked me to park on a road that cost £4 for non residents an hour and I told her id park else where bt she insisted as her phone was dead and I left mine and she was worried she wouldn't find me etc, I didn't see any other sign and took her back after her making me wait for 3 hrs for her and she have me only £10 for my petrol didn't pay for the parking at all. So on Friday I opened a letter informing me that I shouldn't have even gone on that road she insisted on as it was only for residents or people with badges unless it's after 6pm till 7 am !
I didn't see that sign and now I'm faced with a bloody fine and I feel as though she should pay it!! But I'm I wrong in asking her as I'm the driver and etc
I hate driving in London and I didn't want to go I spent money bcz of her an now again!! And that £10 didn't cover the distance we even drove!!
I just feel some type of way and I want to know if I'm wrong before confronting her about this

I only give lifts to family as they return the favour or give petrol money (most of the time its way more than what i used) i stopped giving lifts to friends as they took the piss (especially at 3am on a saturday) they don't bother me now