AIBU to expect my DH

[HermiioneSnape02]

To have the day off tomorrow. It's my 40th birthday.
He hasn't organised anything. He asked me Saturday if I wanted a meal. To which I replied I thought he'd have at least booked a meal? He said and I quote. Well I didn't know what you wanted to do.
For DH Birthday I organised a family meal. A cake. A weekend away. Theatre tickets and some lovely gifts. For Father's Day I bought and paid for the weekend away to silver stone for him and his best mate to watch the British Grand Prix.

He also never has days off. I do all appointments, dr's etc. School.

Feeling very deflated and let down tbh.

**Have you explicitly said to him "remember all the nice things I did for your birthday. I'm upset that you can't think of similarly nice things for me"?

This

DH: Do you want to go out for a meal

OP: Yes, absolutly. I assume you have organised something special, meaningful gifts, meal with family, weekend away - just like I did for you? Yup?

OP you have trained him that he need not bother & will still reap gifts & fuss over his own birthday, Fathers Day, Christmas etc.

Just stop. If he hints tell him he's on his own, just as you have been.

Do you have any friends or family close by that you could something nice with tomorrow? Hope you have a lovely day whatever you end up doing

I have a friend who's dh is like this, she ties herself up in knots planning treats etc for him, he will drop hints for expensive gifts etc too, she's lucky to get a card from him. Same at Christmas, he gives her ideas of what he wants but gets her fuck all.

He says it's more easy for a woman (bullshit) and that he doesn't know what she'd want, he's been with her for 15 years and can't think of a single item she would want? I don't believe him, he probably thinks she doesn't matter enough to spend some time choosing something for her as he has better things to do, truth is, he could probably wrap a dog turd up and she would live as at least he'd thought of her.

She outs way more energy into everything than him though, housework, dc, etc, the lack of thought on her birthday just shows how undervalued she is and she's planning to finally leave him.

Yab really really u.

Hope you had a wonderful birthday in the end OP.