AIBU not to give her new chance?

[KeepCalmAndRetreat]

My mum used to emotionally abuse me since I had my DC1 8 years ago. At least I feel the way she acted amounts to EA. I was trying hard to, talk, ignore, going NC etc.
Almost 2 years ago I got pregnant with DD and decided it won't do any good for my pregnancy, so went almost NC, but for her taking DS for a walk (DD was born a week earlier as a result of us having a raw over some shit).
She wants to get closer now. And I still cringe at the thought of some things she said or done before.
I loved her with all my soul when I was a kid. If it were somebody else I would go NC long ago. I pity her, know her traumas and some motives, just feel I'm breaking. I'd love to get back in our relationship, but don't feel I can without myself and kids suffering.
WWYD? Am I just selfish?

From here it's 15 out of 30, so not so bad :) liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse

The relationship is all wrong. It doen't even matter who's unreasonable and who isn't. So far you blame your mum for a premature baby,your son's asperger's and an allergic reaction which i didn't quite understand if it happened or not(and you make it sound like she did it on purpose)
She might be a crappy abusive mother,i don't know,but you obviously see her as such and detrimental to you and your children.

For 1 week premature yes, for aspergers as is - no, but I'm sure he'd be better in communicating if adults showed him better example. Allergic reaction was not caused by mum, we were driving far, I spotted that his cheeks were flaming, and the redness spread up fast. "It must be allergy, have some water, let's look where the nearest hospital is just in case". Mum: "DGs, it's ok, have a chocolate". Me "No", DS has a tantrum, gets red all over the face. DH has to drive through all the shouting which he hates. Later GP prescribed strict diet and anti-histamine. Guess who fed DS with chocolate and who had to maintain his diet?

That was some time ago. Now she seems to want to start all over and be friends.
But she's not ready to abide with my rules regarding my kids. Just asks for permition, does what she wants if I don't agree and reproaches when I don't quietly suck it up

She was the best mother when I was a kid. I adored her. I was not prepared for this crap, so maybe too sensitive